Name changed for this long one, sorry, but many thanks in advance for reading.
My BIL, my sis' DP (Vito, NRN) has been diagnosed with lung cancer. I feel totally devastated for him and her. He's being very brave and so is she. I'm doing what I can but I don't have any money. Of course I can offer emotional support, plus practical stuff like doing shopping, driving them around, doing housework for them with my DD. Doing bits of DIY as he's a bit too weak now.
Vito's got a bit of a past, he hails from Spain and came to this country 25 years ago having escaped from prison. He's done a spell in prison here, he drinks heavily, hasn't done anything around the house, which she owns. He's been sacked from every job that she's got him, through either drunkenness, stealing and being generally unreliable. I'm/we're actually unclear as to what his real name is, his age, his past in Spain, which he never talks about. But things have emerged now and again over the years, none of it very good. I'm not judging her or him she loves him and they've stayed together, (sort of) all these years.
He's been telling my Sis since they first met some 20 years ago that he stands to inherit a large family property in Spain, when his Mum (who is still alive but has dementia, so he says) dies. He's told Sis he has no siblings, but she's found out that he does have a brother and 2 sisters, who are all locked into a squabble over who's going to get what, when their mother passes away. It's all pretty unsavoury. She found out recently as well that Vito has an ex-wife, daughter and grandchild over there.
Anyway I'll come to the point, since Vito's diagnosis, my sisters been very cruel to our mum IMO. She seems to have got it into her head that mum doesn't care and just because she doesn't throw the little bit of money she has at my sis, that she's cold and unfeeling. This isn't true, my Mum's terribly upset about it all. she's been around my place in floods of tears. She's done plenty to help my sis' in the past, financially and emotionally.
On New Years Eve my sis' called mum, telling her she needs £1000 so she can travel to Spain with Vito so he can sign some doc's re: this inheritance he's supposed to have. Mum said she'd think about it, my sis told her "I'll take that as a no then"? and slammed the phone down. Mum thought on it, called my sis' the next day and offered to pay for their travel expenses, the pair of them.. but she didn't want to hand over £1000 cash.. Sis didn't get back to her and hasn't spoken to her since. I feel that she's using Vito's diagnosis as leverage to emotionally blackmail my mum. I just found out about all this with another teary phone call from my mum, and I'm really upset, I want to confront my sister as she's getting increasingly unreasonable I think. Should I? WWYD?
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AIBU?
To feel my Sis is BU?
34 replies
Tealkeptitwarm · 04/01/2016 18:23
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