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to want to separate?

(13 Posts)
Bjornstar Mon 04-Jan-16 01:56:52

So DH had been poorly at beginning of our holiday, diarrhoea and cough. I went to the pharmacy and got him his bits and he laid in every morning in other room so as not to be disturbed. He still went out drinking every night even with funny tummy and then did not sleep well so he would flip on the light while I was in deep sleep to find what he needed. On ny day that night he turned on light and it woke me up so I asked him what he was doing and was he ok and he told me to fuck off, what did I want anyway.

He is much better now and as he had not done much with Ds in way of help I asked dh if he would give him a shower. His response was 'poor you' and that I was on the holiday for a freebie and being treated to breakfast lunch and dinner everyday.

I have been treated badly haven't I, he has called the mother of his child a freeloader and I'm not sure how I can forgive and forget this. Would you separate over this?

Ohfourfoxache Mon 04-Jan-16 02:14:40

Yes. Yes I would. He sounds like a selfish, lazy fucker.

You might want to get this moved to relationships - lots of support available.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Mon 04-Jan-16 02:19:09

He sounds delightful. Why are you with him?

Bjornstar Mon 04-Jan-16 02:19:10

He has done hardly anything for ds practicality wise this hol and because I ask him to do something he turns the tables onto me as though I have not been grateful for our holiday.

Quite an insight into how he perceives me.

How to respond in the morning? I'm unable to sleep now ...

Ohfourfoxache Mon 04-Jan-16 02:27:47

Personally I'd either get through the rest of the holiday as best you can then tell him to fuck off, or go home early with Ds and leave him to it whilst you pack his bags.

May or may not be an appropriate response for you though.....only you can jidge that.

Bjornstar Mon 04-Jan-16 02:35:33

Thanks for your comments - holiday drawing to a close now anyway. Will ask dh tomorrow if he realises there is no coming back from those remarks.

goodnessgraciousgoudaoriginal Mon 04-Jan-16 06:42:17

Why would you ask his views about it? You can make your own decisions about how you want to be treated without his permission or recognition that he is a total twat.

He hasn't been "ill" over the holiday. He has been hungover. Drinking at night, then doing whatever the hell he wants during the day with his maid to pick up the slack.

I would advise getting this moved to relationships! There is always good advice and support.

LindyHemming Mon 04-Jan-16 06:51:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bjornstar Mon 04-Jan-16 10:26:25

He has been into my room this morning and asked me how my head is with a raised eye brow (I had 4 glasses on sangria over the course of the afternoon with a meal-was not affected in the slightest). I ignored the comment.

Very predictable that he turns it on me to become my fault.

For now I have declined to join him in a car he hired today and he has gone off.

LagunaBubbles Mon 04-Jan-16 10:31:22

I don't get the feeling you would consider separation if this was a one off, and I also don't think this behaviour will have came out of the blue - what's he normally like?

TeaFathers Mon 04-Jan-16 10:36:00

yep - separate.
for good.

Bjornstar Mon 04-Jan-16 11:21:36

Dh is making out that I was drunk and being out of order which is why he made the comment he did. I had had some sangria but was by no means drunk but he has created a picture of me as a monster when I have been drinking. He said I just turned on him!

lexlees Mon 04-Jan-16 11:51:38

He sounds like a lousy person. But there must be more to this. A few unkind words when drunk and not being helpful one time are not necessarily causes to separate.

Being perpetually unkind, constantly unhelpful/disinterested with ds or sociopathically selfish - that is another matter.

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