Advanced search

DP confused me for ex's twice in two days

(36 Posts)
LemmysMole Sat 02-Jan-16 21:08:19

Am I being too sensitive here??
yesterday Dp and I took a drive to the seaside. I says upon arriving "oh remember when we saw that band here and stayed in the B&B?" - turns out that wasn't me hmm
Tonight we were listening to a band and he says "remember, we saw them live!". I said "when??" - turns out that wasn't me either.

I'm feeling paranoid and sensitive as it is lately, I just get a hunch that his feelings towards me are not what they were. AIBU to be upset by the references to ex's twice in as many days?

FarrowAndBallache Sat 02-Jan-16 21:14:09

Oh that's a bit horrible for you.

How long ago was he with his ex?

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 02-Jan-16 21:16:01

DH couldn't remember if something was his DF or me this morning. hmm Probably doesn't mean anything.

LemmysMole Sat 02-Jan-16 21:17:08

Over 5 years ago. I don't know what it is but just recently I've been getting the impression that he misses her. I don't why why as he never mentions her or anything - it's just a hunch ive been getting and all this is confirming it. I was hoping I was being paranoid.

Champagneformyrealfriends Sat 02-Jan-16 21:18:39

I suppose you could look at this from the angle that he's happy with you, has forgotten about the details of previous relationships and sees your lives as involved to the point that he forgets he's experienced things with other people? I wouldn't take it personally tbh-my husband often brings up family parties that went on years and years before we got together and I have to remind him I wasn't there.

LemmysMole Sat 02-Jan-16 21:20:33

We're getting married in May and I'm starting to wonder if that will even happen. He went mad at me a few days ago as I mentioned the wedding and he ranted that he was sick of hearing about it sad

mrschatty Sat 02-Jan-16 21:20:59

I like champagne reasoning!!!

It's awquward when you first get with someone and call them by your ex name... blush yes I wanted the ground to swallow me up... I think he believes all his happy fun memories must have been with you. That's sweet smile

mrschatty Sat 02-Jan-16 21:22:08

Oh lemmy just seen your update I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe ask him for some time ti talk. The wedding thing may be unrelated and nerves

LemmysMole Sat 02-Jan-16 21:22:15

We've been together 4 years, it's not a new relationship

Champagneformyrealfriends Sat 02-Jan-16 21:23:15

Men hate wedding planning. The rows we had over ours were phenomenal. In fact I vaguely recall him saying something about being sick of hearing about it too! Try not to stress op xxx

Champagneformyrealfriends Sat 02-Jan-16 21:24:33

Correction *some men hate wedding planning.
My BIL was groomzilla.

LemmysMole Sat 02-Jan-16 21:25:11

I hear what you're saying but snapping at me over the wedding (uncharacteristic) and then banging on about times he's had with his ex?

Champagneformyrealfriends Sat 02-Jan-16 21:27:36

Was it just the 2 occasions he brought his ex's up? Why don't you ask him what's going on? have you spent a lot more time together recently and have you been talking about the wedding more than usual?

Fluffycloudland77 Sat 02-Jan-16 21:36:35

Dh does this sometimes and we've been together for 10 years.

Pidapie Sat 02-Jan-16 21:45:49

I think you might be putting too much meaning into it, but sounds like a chat is in order about snapping!

PrincessMouse Sat 02-Jan-16 21:57:29

DH and I have been together 7 years this year. I do this sometimes and his done it to me. More me than him though. I geniunly say things (holidays, places I went) thinking it was with him but it was my ex. blush

It's not that I am thinking about my ex. I never ever do. I just remember stuff and assume it was DH probably because we have been together so long. It feels like we have always been together. Sad I know. grin

I wouldn't worry about him snapping regards the wedding. My friend got married end of May last year and they bickered a lot the few months leading up to the wedding. I think it was stress. Mainly to do with the fact he was so laid back about everything and she is very organised and dots all i(s) and crosses all t(s). They wound each other up.

Have you thought about mentioning how you are feeling to him?

BastardGoDarkly Sat 02-Jan-16 22:00:08

Oh god, i do this to dh! Oh! Remember when we went... Nope! That was someone else!

We've been together 15 years!

They means nothing op.

PrincessMouse Sat 02-Jan-16 22:01:44

Bastard thank god it's not just me. You have 8 years on me. grin

LightDrizzle Sat 02-Jan-16 22:04:18

I know it's grim but it may not mean anything. It's the sort of thing I might do I'm afraid, and I'm certainly not hankering after my ex. I've also called him my ex's name before! I'm lucky he's fairly bomb-proof.

It may help that I regularly run through the various names, including the dog's before arriving at the correct one for my own DCs.

CharleyFarleyy Sat 02-Jan-16 22:10:13

The thought of the wedding is probably what's making him think about his ex.

Sounds bad but I think it's probably quite normal smile

hefzi Sat 02-Jan-16 22:16:20

My mum did this the other week: my parents have been married nearly 50 years. It doesn't mean anything other than forgetfulness - if he was that into his ex a) he would still be with her, and b) he'd damn well know it was her and not you. I like champagne's explanation too smile

Depending on how involved he's being with the wedding planning and how precise you are being on arrangements, it might be all a bit much: my SIL and her sister were the Bridezilla twins, and the wedding was moved forward unexpectedly (long story) so it was only 5 months after their engagement (not 18) - my brother was muttering "a wedding is just a day; a marriage is for life" after about the first three weeks of planning! It's not that he didn't want to marry her - he absolutely did, but he recognised that the marriage was more important than the colour scheme for one day. Your DP might be feeling the same - especially if the planning's been going on for longer (not saying you're Bridezilla, btw, but generally, women seem to have more ideas about the wedding than the men): hence snapping at you.

I don't think either means anything as such.

CandOdad Sat 02-Jan-16 22:27:34

My mum was signing her name the other day. Her old married name from twenty years back.

Doesn't mean anything except a lapse of memory.

MrsJorahMormont Sat 02-Jan-16 22:27:35

DH and I do this from time to time. When he does it I usually snigger and wind him up about it. It's easily done if you're thinking about one off events or daytrips.

Try and keep this separate to any other jitters you might be having but a general talk might not do any harm.

Daisydukes79 Sat 02-Jan-16 22:28:55

He can remember the event/ trip but not who he was with. That says to me that she is unimportant to him.
Re the wedding thing, I know me and oh got a bit snappy with each other at times in the run up. Didn't mean we didn't want to be married, just stressed and it is a lot of pressure based on that one day.

ohtheholidays Sat 02-Jan-16 22:32:37

Your DP isn't as bad as me OP.A couple of weeks ago our youngest DD8 woke up in the night(she's disabled and so am I know so DH has to see to her in the night)me waking DH up "Mum DD is awake" I haven't lived at home for nearly 20 years and we lost my Mum 20 months ago.

I've also managed to call him by 2 exs names in the past when I'm tired.For me it in noway means I would ever want to be with either of the exs ever again.

I hope it's the same for you and it's just a brain blip,like I'm seem to be constantly having.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: