about the laundry?

[BoringlyRestrictive]

Gave h the option of bathing the kids or folding and putting away all the laundry. He choose laundry.

Now he thinks I'm being unreasonable to be annoyed that after I bathed, dried and dressed 2 DC and have put youngest to bed I am now putting away half the laundry cos he thought I only meant the stuff on the rack. Not the stuff hanging on hangers.

[Littlef00t]

Surely you flop down and 'supervise'. Perhaps make him do the kids and the hangers next time.

[BoringlyRestrictive]

DC are 1&3 so it's half supervising, half damage limitation.

He didn't want to bath them cos he wanted to watch football and thought he could fold while watching.

I just pissed off that yet again I've had to do both jobs instead of him doing his fair share

[BoringlyRestrictive]

Just want to say that I haven't actually said anything. He saw me doing it and got all moody and defensive and then said I was clearly annoyed.

[howtorebuild]

What a knob.

In future written instructions.

I have a theory some people mess up so they are not asked again.

[Merguez]

yanbu

[Wolfiefan]

So you don't do it. Tell him what still needs to be done. Don't do it and fume inwardly!

[MammaTJ]

But why are you doing it instead of shouting precice instructions to 'half a job Bob' from the sofa?

[AliceInUnderpants]

You didn't 'have to' do both jobs! You chose to. You sound like a passive aggressive martyr

[inlovewithhubby]

It's the age old male-blindness - couldn't see the stuff on the racks/the washing up on the side (so I just did the sink), the shit that needs picking up after the children have gone to bed, the fact that the cat just vomited semi-digested bird in the hallway I just walked down. I'm always tempted to lift the content of said job into his side of the bed (especially if it's the vom) but I totally do what you do and then fucking hate myself for it because it does mean they get away with being a half jobbing lazy bastard

[KatharinaRosalie]

why do you 'have to'? Just tell him 'you forgot the stuff in hangers'

[honeysucklejasmine]

It's not fair to call it "male blindness". I suck at housework and my DH often has to suggest I may want to do X, Y or Z.

But that's the thing... He prompts me, and I apologise and do it. He doesn't passive aggressively martyr himself, because frankly, I wouldn't notice.

Did you ask him to finish the job? If not, deffo do that next time.

[PennyHasNoSurname]

You chose to go do. Rather than berate his not doing.

[inlovewithhubby]

Apologies for the gender stereotyping honeysuckle, but how can you not notice a job is half done? Seriously - I'm genuinely interested. I think it's not understanding how he can not see what is glaringly obvious that is making the OP scratch her head and I'm with her. But you're right, it's not a gender thing, it's a person thing, as with everything else.

[honeysucklejasmine]

It's not that it's half done... It just doesn't occur to me to do things like put a load of washing on. Prob because I have lots of clothes so can go ages without needing to, whereas DH has a more limited selection. So he does laundry and it never crosses my mind.

But I do the food shop and cooking so I guess we are relatively even

[honeysucklejasmine]

But if course, if he puts a load on, and asks me to hang it out when it's done, I will. The just would not occur to me to put a load on in the first place. I am trying to get better.

[BoringlyRestrictive]

I used to call him out on it but it said that was nagging and he was 'just about to' and I had started a row by being bossy and impatient.
However I probably have become very passive aggressive about it. And martyr-ish.
Fuck.

[inlovewithhubby]

Sounds like it's even Stevens on housework at your house honeysuckle. I know that passive aggressive is really irritating, self destructive and self defeating too - as you say, if you don't notice the laundry overflowing, you're unlikely to notice the passive aggressive strop that accompanies the rectification - but to the passive aggressor, it's often easier than having to ask for the obvious/have an argument if the situation isn't so even Stevens.