Why come so late on Christmas Day?

[Loveagoodbargain]

Arranged to have MIL and FIL, Mum, Dad, Sister and BIL for Christmas dinner at 2pm. Mum dad sister and I always exchange presents in the morning so expected them to arrive at 11 ish to give time to do so. MIL and FIL arrive at 12.30 - not a problem. However , expected my mum and dad and sister to arrive about 10.30 - 11 as they usually get more presents for our children which takes a long time plus MIL doesn't buy that much as has loads of grandkids to buy for where my mum only has 2. Don't want them to feel bad for giving less so hoped mum would get there first to give presents before MIL. As lunch planned for 2pm, we were in kitchen cooking from 1 and my mum and dad arrived at 1:30.Sister and BIL nowhere to be seen. turns out sister had been to mums at 1.00 to exchange presents together. she had arranged to go at 10am but overslept thus getting to my mums way later than expected. Annoyed with mum for not saying "well that's too bad but if you are late that's your fault I'm going to other daughters as planned to spend more time with grandkids instead of hanging around waiting for you...." I would not be so annoyed about this but our 2 DD had been sitting by the front window since 10am waiting for nanny and grandad to arrive. Upsetting really. As lunch needed lots of cooking attention When they finally arrived, DH and I had to stay in kitchen cooking so missed mum and dad giving our kids their presents. Sorry for rant, just annoyed.......😡

[QOD]

Had a time ever been set or was it just an assumption based on previous years?

[WorraLiberty]

Do none of you have phones?

Why did you both have to stay in the kitchen during present opening?

[Loveagoodbargain]

assumption based on many previous years. Always 10.30 - 11.

[BackforGood]

I too am confused about all this

a) did you arrange a time, or just assume
b) why didn't you phone them at 11ish when they hadn't arrived as expected
c) when they go there, why didn't you say - We're a bit busy as we're just about to serve up, so we'll do presents after dinner this year instead' ?

[BackforGood]

x-post

[WorraLiberty]

The only thing that's really puzzling me is why did your sister go to your Mum's, when she would be seeing her at your house anyway?

[BadgersNadgers]

a) did you arrange a time, or just assume
b) why didn't you phone them at 11ish when they hadn't arrived as expected
c) when they go there, why didn't you say - We're a bit busy as we're just about to serve up, so we'll do presents after dinner this year instead' ?

This

[Loveagoodbargain]

Did phone mum at at midday and she said would be on way soon. I didn't realise sister going to mums until mum arrived so late and I asked what had happened. No idea why sister going to mums to give presents as we would see each other at ours that day anyway.
Sorry back for good don't know what x- post means....
Both stayed in kitchen as Had a cob on for them coming so late and needed extra pair of hands too. main annoyance is selfish really ... Just that mum put sister as priority instead of grandkids who wanted to see them earlier

[Brokenbiscuit]

Another one who is confused here....

[dolly2016]

You need to say a time!
People won't remember from one year to the next!

[WorraLiberty]

It was selfish of them then I agree, especially as your sister and BIL were coming to you anyway.

I don't think you can complain about missing your kids opening their presents though, as that was your choice.

[LordBrightside]

This kind of thing is why I will now see nobody on Christmas day. Just me, wife and son and it's great.

I can't be bothered with other peoples' nonsense.

[Tinseltears]

Next year just stipulate a time that you want them to arrive. You're the host so to some extent you make the rules.

You know, like 'Hey (sis). What time are you planning on coming over? Lunch is at this time so it would be great if you could arrive at (x). We'll be doing presents at ours'.

I will never get over some of the trivial issues people get worked up over at Christmas

[MerryInthechelseahotel]

How come your children were sitting by the front window for hours waiting. Had they not had any presents from you to play with being Christmas morning and all that? (Just asking)

[Loveagoodbargain]

Yeh Merry, they were playing with craft type toys at the table near the window..... Not just sitting there staring out. Sorry for being confusing.

[summer68]

I think most people have completely missed the op s intention- I think she just needed to vent here instead of having a full blown row with her parents.
If that is the case then Lovea did the right thing - as your reactions have shown her parents and sister may not fully understand her frustration.
Advice- live and learn for next year, explain how the grandchildren will be waiting for them - I don't know any grandparent who could resist that!
They didn't know your children were so desperate to see them from 10:30 so nothing needs to be said ( as that cannot be changed now) but that doesn't mean you shouldn't have been upset. Thank goodness you vented here and not at them.
Forgive them and you can feel like the kind, generous, unselfish sister! Lol

[MarmaladeBasedProtectionRacket]

They arrived at 1.30 for a 2pm meal? So they weren't late were they?

I get that they didn't arrive in time to help with the meal if that's what you hoped for, but unless it was explicit they should be there by 11 I'm not sure why you assumed they would be? if your kids were waiting forlornly at the window from 10am onward - well why was that, they didn't think of that themselves surely, it was about your expectations? Just be clear with your invitations what time you want people to come next time.

[Cotto]

If you invited me for lunch at 2pm I would arrive 1.30- 1.45.
I think you need to talk to your family and arrange "drinks/nibbles/ pressie opening at 11" rather than get annoyed that they didn't read your mind!

[Enjolrass]

There doesn't need to be a fall out though.

A time for them to arrive wasn't discussed. They arrived for lunch.

I can't see why your parents should have told your sister she missed her chance to open presents with them. They weren't late, a time was not arranged

[Dipankrispaneven]

But Cotto, they must have known at 12 that OP was expecting them because she phoned. That was a chance for them at least to explain that they were waiting for her sister and sort out exactly when they were going to arrive.

[lighteningirl]

My dp do stuff like this it's generally because my feckarse little sister messes stuff up and they don't know how to handle it and as the 'good' one my needs/wishes/hopes get pushed down the list. They were mean and selfish but I bet they feel bad they would have wanted you there at present opening.

[Cotto]

If I thought I was expected for just before 2pm then at 12 I would be by the phone call.
I cant work it out ? Did everyone know they were expected early but "selfish" DSis lateness caused a spanner in the works or did OP have one expectation and they another.
Cant really see why OP is so angry though ?
There was no need to miss the present opening-its a bit cut off your nose...

[BitOutOfPractice]

And did lunch have to be on the table on the dot of 2pm? At the expense of seeing the kids open presents. Sod that.

You wee the one who ruined your day by stropping round the kitchen to make some point.

[MajesticSeaFlapFlap]

1.give a time
2.text people

1. Relax, it's Christmas.
   

you could of pushed dinner, no drama