New poster. i want unbias opinions.
Yesterday broke the camels back and i ended my relationship of 6 years with my partner.
Background- we have 1 16m DD and i have a 14yr old DD, she does not see her father(his choice) who live with us full time. He has 1x DD 15 lives with her grandmother and 1 x DS lives with his mother.
I have been unhappy for a long time, and trying to workout what to do for a year with my life and family situation. I have sorted my life out career wise in the last 6 months. I have a full time job, a degree underway and work experience sorted to improve my career and make my life better in the long run.
Relationship has been strained since the baby was born. That's normal you work through it. But i cant seem to do it anymore. I partner and Teenage DD do not get on. He shouts at her, or is sarcastic and rude as soon as he or she walks through the door. She responds back in kind. I have taught her to stand up for herself. I am glad i have, she needs to be strong and independent. She does not always think before she speaks but she is a teenage pita at times. she will grow out of it. Recently he has said to her and in front of me ' she should go live elsewhere as she is not loved her. go live with her father, oh no he doesnt want her either. we don't love her' He said that a few months ago in the car as she was arguing with him and prior to that again when she was standing up for her self and her SS when he was shouting at both of them. Less than a week ago he told his DD my sDD that she needs to go in care she needs to top being a cow etc. She will not come over as every time she does and has for the last few months he just has a go at her. I am to blame according to him as i have taught her to stand up for her self or as he sees it be a selfish spoilt brat. She is none of those things. Both girls are good, they just answer back and get emotional. They are teenagers .
With regards to me and him for the first thee years we were together i was phones repeatedly when not with him. I could not go out with out the third degree. We had to be in each others pockets. I was told i was xheating on him every day. This was direct arguments or snide commects, humours jokes. I just laughed it of and rationalised it. I rationalisted a lot come to think of it. As to now since the baby was born has accused me of cheating on him with his best friend. and this has been a constant as the DD is named after his BF and he is her God Father Keeps telling me i should be with him. he is better for me, he has a better job more money, nicer house, He has said stuff infront of the BF but i dont think he ever noticed thank god. His Best friend is a good decent person, parter is jelous of him why i am not sure. partner has a family job life, everything the Best friend wants and dosnt have.
Basically for the lst year i have been accusted of cheating with everyone form thr bestfrend to my bosses at work. I havntgivn him reason, always home on time. Tell him if i will be late. tell him when i am going out. where i am going. He constantly want to go through my phone.. know who i am texting facebook etc. generly its famil daughter or jst no one, but i refused the past four months to show him, just because i am fucked of defending my self. i am fucked of feeling responsible for him nd his feelings and hi actions. I am fucke of having to rationalise everything , i am fucked of having to pick up after him. I am fucked of being shouted at for speaking to my parents on christmas day. I am fuck of being told no one wants to talk to me. my sister dont want to speak to me. i don't need to text my nieces merry christmas on christmas day. WE see his family every day. I see my parents a few times a month speak every few weeks (Dad is a Pita i deal with it) I am fucked of not seeing my family on boxing day because he just wants to lie on the sofa get drunk and watch fucking jurassic world. I am fucked of my sister wont come to my house because she hates my partner for getting so pissed at an accountants meeting while i had a week before giving birth he was falling over. I had braxton hicks and had to drive an hour home. with him shouting at me all the way. I am fucked of feeling like i have to be on my gaurd every day, not wanting to come home, having to justify by my eldest DD cloths when she needs them, or trainers, or new school uniform. Revision books for school and basic stationary. I am fed up with not having anyone to talk to as he has made me so insula i have lost all my friends. I stopped going out with out him so stopped going out t all to keep him happy. I am fucking fed up crying because i dont want to go home. I am fed up with my Eldest DD wont go home on a day he is there before me after school. she would rather sit in my pffice building than go home. I have had enough of feeling like i want to kill myself (i wonT) but i still feel like it somedays. I am depressed and hiding it. I have struggled to hid it he last few months and the cracks started to show but i ont care. I can do this, i will do this. I DONT LOVE HIM. IDONT WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS. I cant anymore
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AIBU?
AIBU to finish what i started or do i just go back and carry on
28 replies
anyfuckingnicknamewilldo · 27/12/2015 07:05
OP posts:
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