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AIBU?

To be in a bad mood?

24 replies

Kalingrad · 26/12/2015 00:56

Sister and her boyfriend here this Christmas, lovely guy but it just makes me really want someone of my own!

I have been seeing a guy very recently and it's mega early days (only since mid Dec) - we have been texting with him asking questions each time and me responding (and asking). Fast forward to yesterday when I just got text with a statement, no question and "happy Christmas". Seemed a bit final.

I have replied to wish him a merry Christmas too but just feeling low as next date not planned and have heard nothing back. I hate not knowing people's feelings and intentions.

Will I meet someone nice? I hope so :(

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TheSnowFairy · 26/12/2015 01:04

It is v early days and a 'happy Christmas' text is normal, maybe he was rushing around but thought to text you?

You're over thinking it but YANBU to hope there's a happy ending

Kalingrad · 26/12/2015 01:07

Thank you

I would love to meet someone nice, I'm 24 and have kissed a hell of a lot frogs along the way. Just want a relationship if possible - never had one!

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Kalingrad · 26/12/2015 01:20

I am grateful for family and of course friends but you really feel the absence of a partner at Christmas. It's shit...

I am also still living at home for various reasons so really feel like "the one who never grew up"

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Mmmmcake123 · 26/12/2015 01:31

Try not to be down OP which I know is easier said than done and I think most people go through a goggle of frogs before meeting a prince xxx
(disclaimer, think that should be army of frogs but goggle sounded more pleasant to me)

Kalingrad · 26/12/2015 01:55

Hahaha I like goggle!

Thank you - you're right.

It's just getting a bit old now, especially now I have met someone who seems like a decent guy (but who knows what will happen). I am not asking for true love just yet or anything, just a relationship - so frustrating!

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Littlefluffyclouds81 · 26/12/2015 02:01

He texted 'happy Christmas' and you've interpreted that as it being The End?

Not sure I'm following your train of logic here OP. I'd really not worry. Christmas is a busy time for most people and I'm sure you'll see him again when it all calms down.

Kalingrad · 26/12/2015 02:11

Ah no sorry - just mean it could be seen as a brush-off of sorts.

His text was in response to one of mine and just said a statement and then happy Christmas.

We have not arranged to see each other again.

I can't help but feel that his texts were just polite?

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Littlefluffyclouds81 · 26/12/2015 02:29

Best advice I ever got on MN was 'you know if a man's keen because he'll be there'. I wouldn't take it as a brush off quite yet, but if he's well aware you're keen on him I'd leave it and wait for him to suggest meeting up again. Because let's face it, if he can't be arsed to do that, it's not going to go anywhere.

Kalingrad · 26/12/2015 02:34

Great advice, thank you.

At first I was worried he wasn't sure I was keen on him (which I am!) as I was nervous on last date and was worried I came across as a bit aloof etc

But since then we have been texting and I have expressed a wish to do something again, which he agreed with.

Do you think it's fair to just leave it now then? I texted last just saying "merry Christmas to you too" - ball's in his court right?

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Littlefluffyclouds81 · 26/12/2015 11:04

Yep. Definitely wait. It's horrible feeling in limbo but worse to be chasing after someone who's not as into the situation as you are, as I've learnt the hard way myself. Step back and see if he comes back to you. If he doesn't, it wasn't meant to be.

FarrowAndBallache · 26/12/2015 11:14

He was probably just busy with family etc

I sent my dsis a happy christmas message and didn't get anything back! Try not to fret.

Kalingrad · 26/12/2015 12:38

Thanks, will do

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Kalingrad · 26/12/2015 14:19

Still not heard anything back, I know I'm being ott but can't stop obsessing! Just want a bloody message

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VaticanAssassin · 26/12/2015 14:43

Oh OP, I've been there

The very early days of dating DH actually made me lose weight with uncertainty and stress- thinking, 'what does he mean by that?' (nothing) 'Should I message back now, or later?' (usually thinking about messaging until I actually did), and then writing, deleting and rewriting one sentence to make sure it sounded right!
I was a lot younger then though

Relax. If he is interested, he will show you he is.

Kalingrad · 26/12/2015 14:48

Thank you!! Oh god story of my life Especually the rewriting of sentences and constant thinking about how you're going to reply - haha how pathetic do I sound!

I want to give myself a cut-off so that I can 'move on' if I don't hear back rather than driving myself mad - I'm thinking early January? That was when we potentially agreed to do something anyway so if nothing by then, I will write it off. I hate dating!!!

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JeanSeberg · 26/12/2015 15:02

If you've not got the next date arranged, suggest something eg Hope your Boxing Day is going well, do you fancy going to the cinema/for a meal/walk/whatever on X-date?

Kalingrad · 26/12/2015 15:07

I would do that jean but we live far away from each other plus I messaged last...

He knows I want to see him again so I'll wait for him to initiate contact I think. Argh I hate stress of it though

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VaticanAssassin · 26/12/2015 17:13

Kalingrad absolutely do not have a cut off point of early January!

If your new bf doesn't message you for the the entirety of the next 6 days, why deprive yourself of a cheeky snog on New Years Eve?

VaticanAssassin · 26/12/2015 17:19

Also, your last message wasn't 'open to reply' as such, it was a Merry Christmas rather than a 'did you have a good day?"

He might not think he has to reply.

If you're really stressing OP, you could bite the bullet and just ask a simple, non committal question. One 'extra' text hardly makes you look too keen I don't think

Kalingrad · 26/12/2015 17:54

Hahaha ok good point about nye kiss

He's not a boyfriend yet, only two dates!

I think I will just have to brazen it out and wait for him to message... I initiated the conversation anyway so don't want him to feel forced to reply. Also don't want to seem too keen

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VaticanAssassin · 26/12/2015 19:04

OP I always found the very early dating game awful. You don't know if you've met the man who may be your future DH, or just a forgettable wanker

If it's casual as you say, as hard as it is just forget about a text for now! Just enjoy the festive season with friends and/or family, and put the phone down!

WallyBantersJunkBox · 26/12/2015 19:17

Oh op, I'm currently in the free time overthinking in everything. And Christmas can be a romantic time. The telly is full of bloody pretentious lusty perfume ads.

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WallyBantersJunkBox · 26/12/2015 19:19

Pressed send too early. But what is wrong with fixing a midweek meet up?

Ask him how his Christmas went, and if he wants to catch a movie or something midweek?

Is he back at work next week? Travelled away to see family? Do you know.

Kalingrad · 26/12/2015 20:11

Thanks everyone

It's a tough one because we live a couple of hours away! So would have to organise meet up when I'm back in nearest city to him. I've already said I'll be there in the new year so just need to organise something.

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