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Use the ****ing bell

(80 Posts)
LurkingHusband Wed 16-Dec-15 11:24:36

Just had 4th delivery of the day.

Every single delivery had the "special instruction" RING THE BELL printed on the label.

Every single driver tapped the door.

"Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity".

In the Lurking household, if I am not in, and MrsLH is in the back of the house, a knock won't be heard (but the secondary doorbell ringer will).

In the few days over Xmas, I may knock up a detection rig that rings the bell if anyone stands by the door for more than 5 seconds (one project for my Raspberry Pi).

What's the point ?

MammaTJ Wed 16-Dec-15 11:32:54

I have been waiting for the opportunity to share this little gem and this thread is perfect for it!

Delivery drivers do not care! They just need(because of stupid time constraints) want to deliver as quickly as possible, with as little human interaction as possible!

If they can say that they knocked and no one answered they have won!

BondJayneBond Wed 16-Dec-15 11:34:38

Love that sign, Mamma grin

Does it work?

glentherednosedbattleostrich Wed 16-Dec-15 11:39:33

I have a beautiful Christmas wreath tied onto my door knocker so the options are

Ring the doorbell
Knock on door with hand
Knock using letter box
Disturb lovely wreath and use door knocker

Guess which option most people are doing? Oh yes, they look at the door and ignore the sensible options and trash my pretty wreath. I'm now considering wiring the thing to the mains, that'll learn them (disclaimer - pm rage present, no visitors to the Glen household were harmed during the Christmas period )

LurkingHusband Wed 16-Dec-15 11:45:41


great pic, thanks. However you forgot to mention how successful it is smile

Bear in mind, when it's possible (usually is) to add a custom note to driver I always put "RING BELL". On each parcel today, it was printed below the address, and each time the delivery driver "didn't see it", although he managed to "see" the address.

The most baffling excuse was a driver who (when asked why he didn't use the bell) said "they don't always work". He looked suitably confused when I commented it must be hard work using stairs all the time since lifts don't always work either.

Birdie85 Wed 16-Dec-15 11:52:24

Why have a bell if it's not to be used?! It's less effort to ring a doorbell than to knock on the door, especially if you have to move a bloody big wreath to get to the knocker (poor glen's wreath! sad)

We live in a smallish block of flats... most of our postmen just put a 'missed delivery' note in the postbox rather than walk the 10 steps to our door to actually attempt a delivery, lazy bastards. angry

TaliZorahVasNormandy Wed 16-Dec-15 11:56:51

Lurking, Have you thought about rigging the knocker, so the moment its moved slightly, a gruff voice shouts, "RING THE BELL!!!!"

R0nJ0n Wed 16-Dec-15 11:58:38

I dunno, I think the drivers have a point about bells often not working. At least half the people I know, or at least the ones whose homes I've visited, don't have working bells.

When I'm going somewhere new I'm never sure if I should knock or ring. If I ring the bell and I can't hear it ringing I'm left wondering if it's working, then if no one answers quickly I start questioning wether it would now be rude to knock as if the bell was working and they're on their way it comes across as impatient, but if it's not working then I'm standing there like a lemon. Just knocking in the first place is easier. I imagine if you're a delivery driver your day is like that but times fifty.

kamillaw Wed 16-Dec-15 12:02:33

Mine just get thrown over the back gate regardless if I'm home or not. No note is left in the letterbox either angry

NoSquirrels Wed 16-Dec-15 12:03:29

Oh my - one of our regular delivery men rings the bell and IMMEDIATELY knocks several times aggressively on the door at the same time.

IABU in the opposite way to you because it gives me the RAGE.

You can hear the doorbell rang from outside the door, and if i can hear the doorbell I'll answer it, I will not hear a knock any better or get there ay quicker, and you HAVEN'T GIVEN ME A CHANCE TO GET TO THE DOOR YET. It's like someone shouting HURRY UP before they've even finished telling you it's time to leave.

I know it's because he has to be able to say he rang & knocked before no one answered, but it's bloody cheating!

[and breathe] [working from home rage]

floellabenjaminsearrings Wed 16-Dec-15 12:04:51

We have recently moved, but in our previous house one the amazon courier was incapable of either ringing the bell or knocking, he would just go straight to putting a "sorry we missed you slip" through the door. Usually it was because they liked to kill two birds with one stone. We and the people opposite were both regular amazon users, so he would just deliver both sets of parcels to one house.

LurkingHusband Wed 16-Dec-15 12:06:12

Lurking, Have you thought about rigging the knocker

we don't have a knocker (Why can I hear Kenneth Williams grin ?). You'd think that would be a clue. However, our neighbours do have a knocker [ooh err Missis !], and their complaint is that delivery drivers don't use that, but rap on the door (which is what they do to us).

I just hope these drivers aren't being paid for their intelligence, because somebody is being short-changed.

I'd be curious on the demographics here, but all I have to go on is male delivery drivers (fights voice of Kenneth Williams again). Never has a profession appeared so one-sided sad.

chocdonutyy Wed 16-Dec-15 12:06:58

I'm with R0nJ0n, a doorbell you can never be certain it has actually rang, with a knock, then you are, it's simply a matter of time for the delivery guy.

PegsPigs Wed 16-Dec-15 12:07:04

I'm the opposite because I have a sleeping baby. I say please don't ring the bell sleeping baby. Our house is not so big we can't hear the knocker as the door is straight into our living room. And I've had to start turning our bell off at the plug socket to stop people ignoring the instructions!! So YANBU because I'm not BU either!

moggle Wed 16-Dec-15 12:08:01

Try putting "RING BELL" as your house or business name in the address when you check out? ... maybe they'll see it then when they double check the house number?

LBOCS2 Wed 16-Dec-15 12:09:18

I have a Hermes delivery lady. She's lovely (and efficient, and sensible).

Every person I have delivering stuff rings then knocks but to be fair, you can't hear the bell from outside so I let them off.

crabbiearses Wed 16-Dec-15 12:09:48

I'm with you i have a big front porch and two fronts doors so if someone uses the letter box i don't hear it, everyone just ignore the please use doorbell sign.

TaliZorahVasNormandy Wed 16-Dec-15 12:10:41

You know, I can hear KW now after that.

Round here, the delivery drivers pretty much bang in the door like they are the police.

I have the loudest bell in the history of the universe, half the street know when I have visitors because of it grin but one fecking postie always rings then hammers the doorknocker as well... gives me the stabby rage angry

howtorebuild Wed 16-Dec-15 12:12:58

I can't stand the aggressive door knocking.

moggle Wed 16-Dec-15 12:13:12

Sorry Pegs but if you don't want people to ring the bell best to just unplug it and put some parcel tape over it so they don't think it is in use. My baby wakes from knocking at the door but doesn't for our doorbell!

I feel sorry for these delivery drivers at this time of year... I had one knock on my door and when I answered he asked me if I wanted him to leave it in our "safe place"... I said no don't be silly I'm right here! He said that a customer the previous week had rung amazon AND his courier company to complain about him because he had knocked on the door and disturbed him, and not just immediately left the parcel in the safe place. Instead of telling the customer that wasn't what a safe place was for, they bollocked the delivery driver.

wanderings Wed 16-Dec-15 12:13:26

I think the drivers have a point about knocking. Many modern doorbells are crap - give me the Victorian actual bell pulled by a rope any day!

You often can't hear modern doorbells on the outside. You don't know if it has rung or not. As many are battery powered, there is a good chance a bell can suddenly stop working, while the owner is in blissful ignorance. Even if a little light comes on, that is not conclusive proof, as sometimes both ends are battery powered. (Modern ones also sound awful: synthetic and electronic, but that's another issue.) If you knock, you at least know for certain you have made a sound.

Also, one person's "use the fucking bell" is another person's "don't you dare wake my baby". Delivery drivers can't know every homeowner's preference.

Blackadder (after extensive ignoring of knocking): "You should have knocked."
Actors: "Our knocks, you impertinent butler, were loud enough to wake the hounds of hell!"

wonkylegs Wed 16-Dec-15 12:19:06

We have a big sign on our doorbell which says "not working please use brass knocker" and Everytime they go for the bell!
Usually I can see them coming down the drive from my desk so anticipate them and get to the door shortly anyway but I get lots of comments like - I wasn't sure if it rang, urr no!
The knocker is a huge brass thing that can be heard throughout the house so was better than the bell when it worked anyway. The bell doesn't like wind or rain so tends to only ring when nobody's there - I really must just get rid of the damn thing.

CantSee4Looking Wed 16-Dec-15 12:23:13

Our door bell doesn't work atm (well it does but it is stuck on so rings constantly unless you unplug the fucker), We can't hear the door if anyone taps on it, you have to give it some welly in the knock. We leave the porch door open for parcels. But generally someone is about and will notice.

We get tons of parcels for neighbours because local delivery people don't even bother knocking on their doors because they know we will be in and will take the parcel and that often the home owner and parcel recipient might not be in. Not sure how you explain that one as we get quite irrate neighbours who were in and waiting in especially who are rightly annoyed by this tactic. Thankfully their irk is never expressed towards us and are usually grateful, plus they will take stuff in for us if we happen to be out. Just frustrating. but not as frustrating as the idiot delivery man that put a parcel in a bin on the day the bin was collected hmmangry

70isaLimitNotaTarget Wed 16-Dec-15 12:25:18

I'm not a delivery driver but I have to ring doorbells/knock/sometimes end up phoning the house dweller (they are phoned prior to me setting off, doesn't mean they answer the phone either)

I get doorbells covered in layers of paint (do they work?)
Or a bit of sticky plaster (does that mean it's broken?)
Or sometimes two bells because someone has fitted a new one but left the old one.
Or some people have two bells (front and back of house or upstairs)> Do I ring all of them?

If it's a noisy road, I don't hear the bell myself. What's the polite timescale to wait before ringing again?
(One charming bloke hmm greeted me with where's the bloody fire because I rang again too quickly)

If they don't hear the bell/knocker/letterbox call through, I phone (and I can hear the phone ringing inside) .


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