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To dismiss my cleaner

(38 Posts)
Elly95 Wed 09-Dec-15 22:05:46

I feel bad about this. I have a lovely lady who cleans for us, but that's the wrong word. Her passion is for reorganising and cleaning comes second. I have asked her not to do this, she still does. She also rearranges everything to the point that we have to phone to find things. Last week she rearranged some glass ornaments, the 20 month old got hold of, broke and carried on playing before I noticed. She rearranged matches in a kitchen drawer accessible to kids, we have not found a prescription left on shelf. We have 4 dc, including twin 20 month olds, older dd with sen and unsociable dd teen who refuses to come out of room until cleaner has left. Cleaner spends all day cleaning and reorganising when cleaning could be done in half the time if didn't do the OCD reorganising. Want to tell her not to come anymore just feel so guilty and worried about telling her.

CreepingDogFart Wed 09-Dec-15 22:07:55

I'd wait until after Christmas but probably a lot will disagree with me

shutupandshop Wed 09-Dec-15 22:09:18

Have you got someone else lined up?

Birdsgottafly Wed 09-Dec-15 22:11:00

I'd give her a final warning.

Gusthetheatrecat Wed 09-Dec-15 22:11:47

I think you'd be perfectly reasonable to tell her that it's not working out for you, especially if you have already asked her not to reorganise your things. We've had a cleaner for years, but have never had the kind of trouble you describe!
If you're feeling brave, you could say that you need to find someone else so that your things don't get moved, wish her all the best etc. If you're feeling nervous you could tell a small white lie and say your circumstances have changed and you don't require a cleaner any more.
Just one small thing, though. Your cleaner is almost certainly not your employee, so technically you aren't 'dismissing' her, you are no longer choosing to purchase her services. I mean, obviously it doesn't feel like not choosing to use, say, a shop any more when it's someone in your home, but I thought I'd mention just in case that makes you feel less bad! (and actually it does make a difference. If she was your employee she would have the right to be treated fairly and you would need to follow the proper process if you wanted to let her go.)

MsJamieFraser Wed 09-Dec-15 22:12:11

I would sit I her down and state tut expectations of of her, I would give her a months notice to improve then if not she would be dismissed X

whatdoIget Wed 09-Dec-15 22:13:06

If it was me I'd probably pay her until Xmas and tell her not to come again. She sounds annoying and I'd tell her why you are getting rid of her.

Marmitelover55 Wed 09-Dec-15 22:13:44

Please can I have her - she sounds just what I need!

MillionToOneChances Wed 09-Dec-15 22:14:33

How long does she come for? Sounds like maybe too long - given you say 'all day' - and she's filling the time. I would write down what you do and don't want her to do, and if she's coming for more than 3 hours reduce to that and tell her to use her time only for cleaning. Ultimately it's your house and she's completely disregarding your requests at present, so dismiss at will. Personally I'd make very certain I had made my wishes clear first.

reni2 Wed 09-Dec-15 22:18:20

Does she still do this after you told her how dangerous and inconvenient it is? I'd possibly give her a final warning. How easily can you get someone else?

Bakeoffcake Wed 09-Dec-15 22:36:53

Id just tell her not to come again and pay her until the end of the month.

She sounds annoying and stupid.

I'd be honest with her, she needs to know that her behaviour is potentially dangerous and she's obviously not thinking about the safety of the children. She need to change or not work on a house with children in the future.

Elly95 Wed 09-Dec-15 22:37:11

Yes I have put it in writing about what she needs to do, I have also explained verbally what not to do, each time she comes in if I'm there. I have explained priorities. No there is no one else lined up it's just getting stressful coming in and finding everything rearranged such as moving dog basket out of my bedroom each week. This week she rearranged the meds ( whole family on meds for gods sake) put all in a box in a different cupboard, sen dd freaked out looking for antipsychotics. Having cleaner was supposed to bring blood pressure down ( that and getting a hobby). Yes I know she is not employed. She is not bad person, that's why I feel bad. Can't bear another 4 weeks of of this, don't mind paying her 4 weeks notice although not part of our agreement, she has asked for one weeks notice if going on holiday/ not required etc and to be paid if she turns up and
reclusive dd doesn't open door which I think is reasonable.

Elly95 Wed 09-Dec-15 22:40:59

Yes all day is too long,although 5 bedrooms only needs to do three of these. Don't know how that happened.

DanglyEarOrnaments Wed 09-Dec-15 23:07:33

I would just pay what was agreed within her agreement with you ie one week's notice and choose another cleaning service.

You have told her she is not providing the service you wanted (the service most cleaners would be able to provide for you!) therefore vote with your purse she not only does not provide what you want, you would rather pay her four weeks money than put up with her.

IMO You need to get some new quotes in and get her out asap. This service is meant to be helping you!

DanglyEarOrnaments Wed 09-Dec-15 23:11:47

Also as a pp mentioned, don't feel bad, althoughit IS a personal service, it is just a business relationship not a personal one, you're either getting what you need from the service provider or you're not, it really is that simple she is not your employee, you are one of her clients, she can find others and you can find a better service.

She is coming into your house and fiddling about moving things around, and then you pay her? I would hate this, couldn't stand someone invading my home like that, picking stuff up to vacuum or polish under I would accept as part of the job and my fault for leaving things out, moving stuff in drawers etc, nope, no way. I might even find this a bit suspicious. I'd have no compunctions about letting her go...

ssd Wed 09-Dec-15 23:27:53

stop employing her and dont feel bad, she isnt cleaning, ses messing about to save herself the trouble of having to clean anything.....

LaLyra Wed 09-Dec-15 23:28:42

I'd probably consider dismissing my cleaner if she left medication in reach of my child without lots of previous conversations/warnings. After being asked, repeatedly, to stop moving things I'd see that as enough.

She freaked out your DD, put your lo in danger (twice inc the ornament) and seems insistent on deciding on where your dog should or shouldn't sleep... I'd tell her she's no longer needed.

Mmmmcake123 Wed 09-Dec-15 23:45:05

I would make a list of duties you want to be carried out each time, just clear bullet points and make it absolutely clear that you don't want anything already in cupboards moved. Anything left on the side that is not obviously for the dishwasher I would make explicit she is simply to clean around rather than move. She may be finding your home a bit disorganised and thinks it's her role to sort, some people would actually like this. I would have a heart before getting rid but if it carried on then you will have no choice. Good luck xx

catfordbetty Wed 09-Dec-15 23:53:09

Having cleaner was supposed to bring blood pressure down ...

This is the heart of the matter. Pay her a couple of weeks in lieu of notice and then find a cleaner who brings your blood pressure down.

Elly95 Thu 10-Dec-15 00:31:08

Thank you for your replies. Mcake thing is my home is not unorganised and I have systems in place, only laudry gets chaotic by end of week. She just changes everything. Mum agrees with the majority that she is not meeting our needs or lifestyle and is adding to the pressure. Husband says to get rid and not worry about it. Sen ds feels sorry but also infuriated and she certainly does not need the stress. Unsociable dd and her bf will be very happy if she doesn't come as they don't emerge until she has left. Toddlers don't care. I will tell her not meeting our needs and will pay her 4 weeks.

TiredButFineODFOJ Thu 10-Dec-15 01:34:51

My cleaner spends a large amount of effort rearranging things neatly on my dresser, I honestly think she likes sitting there and putting all the make ups in an order which I trash the next day But I don't mind as she does actually clean some stuff. Mind you if she gets it done fast, she's off.

MontyYouTerribleCunt Thu 10-Dec-15 07:24:06

Agree with pps - if probably give a final warning and make it clear that if she doesn't improve you'll have to find someone else.

If you are set on firing her and don't want to give anymore warnings I'd probably wait till after Xmas.

Aeroflotgirl Thu 10-Dec-15 07:27:36

Yes giv her a final warning to improve, state clearly and in writing what you expect her to do and not to do, state it's her final warning. If this carries on you will terminate her employment.

Aeroflotgirl Thu 10-Dec-15 07:28:30

Moving Meds is unacceptable, she should not be doing this.

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