I've known her since our DSs were in reception (now in year four, aged eight) and our DSs were friends and we both hosted the other's for tea regularly. She has also helped with a bit of babysitting and lifts to school.
However she's a bit of a chancer, has borrowed the odd tenner fairly regularly, and often not paid it back. Until it got to the point of her owing me around £40 when I called halt to the lending and then she asked my DH when I wasn't around.
I've also taken her and her children to the cinema, had her get pick and mix for all and then ask to borrow the money to pay for it. I had supplied the tickets and driven already. Another time she agreed to do a little halloween tea for all our kids together, then dropped her son off with excuses that she needed to be at home for a 'bit longer' and finally met up with me hours later when we were out trick or treating.
She recently divulged to me that she has drug addiction problems. At which point I decided I didn't want my son visiting her house (the drug mentioned was the big H). Unfortunately I handled it badly as when my son had asked repeatedly why not I told him that his friends Mum was involved in criminal things and so we would have his friend at our house in future. A stupid mistake, but I was distracted and busy and had been asked lots of times and didn't think it through.
She and her husband then turned up on my doorstep shouting at me and my husband, ranting. I offered for them to come in so I could come clean about the situation and try and work something out. He shouted "I don't want to hear anything from you" so we shut the door rather than stand and be abused on our own doorstep.
Then she sent a mean Facebook message saying others in the school had warned her about me and she wished she'd never trusted me.
Then it got odd. After the summer she began being friendly, as if nothing had happened and asking if our boys could hang out. Trying, I guess, to sort it out for her son. I told her I couldn't sort this out until she was prepared to talk about what happened. She made some flaky excuse and said we would, in the future. I haven't spoken to her since and this was about three weeks ago.
Last night she delivered a Christmas card, saying when can our boys get together, please contact me so we can arrange a time. My gut feeling is that I don't really want anymore to do with this person though I do feel bad about the boys. AIBU?
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AIBU?
To want to avoid reconciliation with this Mum 'friend'
26 replies
PurpleElla · 09/12/2015 13:56
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