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To think the neighbours are odd

(47 Posts)
FlowersAndShit Fri 13-Nov-15 16:11:41

Neighbour who we call 'busy bob' because he can't keep still, is standing in the freezing cold furiously washing his car. His wife has just come over to boss the shit out of him help and went inside the car and is still sitting there watching him furiously wash the new car. WTF? She's just sitting in there...

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Fri 13-Nov-15 16:13:54

Tis odd, yes grin

Willynutsax Fri 13-Nov-15 16:15:52

grin More updates and stories as and when they happen, please.

My old neighbours used to be into S&M. They used to do it in their shed which was overlooked by our back bedroom window. I don't think they realised and I never had the heart guts to tell them. Or maybe they were exhibitionists and loved the fact that me and DH could see.

Finola1step Fri 13-Nov-15 16:18:10

Willy, they knew. Oh they knewgrin

Any updates Flowers?

FlowersAndShit Fri 13-Nov-15 16:21:44

They are now both helping each other clean the inside...

Lozza1990 Fri 13-Nov-15 16:27:17

grin that made me chuckle, they sound made for each other!

Bambooshoots14 Fri 13-Nov-15 16:29:45

Sounds like me and dh. He'll want to do something like wash the car/ clip the hedge and would like some help/ company. It's too cold. I sulk. Sit in the car and give him evils while proving the company he requested. Win win

FlowersAndShit Fri 13-Nov-15 16:31:30

Busy Bob has fucked off inside the house and his wife is cleaning the car with window cleaner

FishOn Fri 13-Nov-15 16:38:39

Busy Bob and Bossy Babs? They sound good value grin

definitelybutter Fri 13-Nov-15 16:41:06

Did anyone else look at the title of the thread and wonder if it was about them?

Flowerpower41 Fri 13-Nov-15 16:41:20

Blimey they must be bored lol. Don't they have anything more interesting to do?!

Janeymoo50 Fri 13-Nov-15 16:43:50

Our neighbour, Misery Mike and his wife - Mardy Megan are like that. Every Sunday am by 9am he's out on the drive doing something in the garage or car for hours. She comes out every few hours for a smoke on the doorstep. From 01 April until 01 November he is topless so I am "treated" to his bare (ageing) chest as an additional treat.

JoffreyBaratheon Fri 13-Nov-15 16:53:11

Nutjob neighbours? Mine wrote the book.

\I call my neighbours Foghorn Leghorn (him) and Skeletor (her). Their weirdery constantly evolves but my favourite this year was him being up at 5 AM, assiduously gardening (trimming a shrub he has trimmed every day all year, with a pair of kitchen scissors). He has a lovely garden feature in the back garden - a pile of stinking nappies, rotting medical waste and takeaway containers. Thinking no-one would spot it, he covered it with a neat pile of twigs and branches from his endless pruning. A lovely family of rats moved into it this summer as witnessed by my workmen who accidentally disturbed it when they had a mini digger to dig the roots of a leylandi hedge out, just before the council gave me the first ever 6 foot fence in the history of this council district (they told me). Apparently, the workmen said a 'swarm' of rats ran out from Casa Nappy. Another council workmen spent a month poisoning them from my side of the fence, (they dug under) because apparently the council couldn't hurt Skeletor and Foghorn's feelings, and tell them their shitty nappies attract rats.

We do have binmen and bins so why he kept the children's nappies as a garden feature, I've no idea.

So up at 5 AM gardening meanwhile having a pile of festering waste hidden in your back garden. Go figure. Their gardens front and back look incredibly neat and tidy - he has spent a year now weeding but still hasnt bought a single plant. Not one. All that is there was planted by a previous tenant. So his front garden has these long, weed free, bare soil borders. Without a single plant in.

All the other neighbours are nice people and just get called their actual names. ;o)

GenerationX2 Fri 13-Nov-15 17:04:24

JoffreyB - fascinating - I'm surprised that the council did not call it a health hazard and force him to clean it up.

My neighbours are not nearly as interesting

FlowersAndShit Fri 13-Nov-15 17:07:08

The best bit is when busy Bob chases the fat family dog down the road trying to catch him grin

Crazypetlady Fri 13-Nov-15 17:16:06

Our neighbours kids used to open the back gate of our garden and let our great dane out as he had the run of the house and garden while we were out. We got back a couple of times and found him waiting on the drive. We were told later he used to take himself for a walk around the estate and then come back for when we got home!

Other than that my neighbours are boring .

JoffreyBaratheon Fri 13-Nov-15 17:21:24

The council took the environmental health phone lines etc off their old website and mysteriously, they never reappeared on the new... If you ring them now about an environmental health issue regarding a council tenant, they refer you to the antisocial behaviour officer.

He can't deal with it as our neighbours put in a complaint about him. (Apparently he looked at them funny when he delivered a Notice of Order Seeking Possession). Cos they have complained about him he is no longer allowed to deal with them. Although I was told on the phone the rats have to be left in peace unless I had poison laid in my garden as apparently it hurts tenants' feelings to be told they have shit in their garden and "We have to treat them as if they were owner occupiers".

Council never got possession of Skeletor and Foghorn's house so they continue to amuse us all with their delightful antics.

FishOn Fri 13-Nov-15 17:25:09

My next door neighbours are a professional Santa and Mrs Claus.

Only in December, obvs grin santa

Minniemagoo Fri 13-Nov-15 17:30:41

When our next door neighbours moved in they seemed lovely, he's an accountant of some sort. Leaves the house daily immaculately turned out, brief case etc.
However the first weekend he appeared in the front garden in full (immaculate) work gear, snickers style trousers, steel toe capped boots, knee pads, heavy duty safety goggles and gloves. We assumed he was planning on some major gardening work.. Nope he just cut the grass (with an electric lawnmower). He does this every week.
We think his wife has a workman fetishism and he gets rewarded after cutting the grass because it honestly must take longer to put on the gear than cut the grass!

TheJiminyConjecture Fri 13-Nov-15 17:37:06

grin at Foghorn Legion and Skeletor

Ookmybanana Fri 13-Nov-15 17:38:08

I think I live opposite busy Bob. He spent last night in a howling gale and pouring rain with a leaf blower, giving nature a helping hand.

MrsUnderwood Fri 13-Nov-15 17:40:44

My current next door neighbours are very nice and normal. The ones at my former abode, however...

I lived in a tall, narrow terraced house with my DH and 4 other people. Our room was at the back on the 3rd floor and overlooked the gardens in the street behind us. We had sash Single glazed sash Windows so could hear everything that went on in the gardens even if our window was shut.

One early morning I was lying in bed to hear the following:

"Sarah... Sarah... I know you're probably asleep and you probably hate me right now, but I still love you. Oh well. I think I'm going to just go to sleep in the shed now."

There followed a tinkle of broken glass followed by a woman shouting "you fucking cunt!!!" I looked out the window to see a young guy in his boxers standing in the garden and a topless woman menacing him with what appeared to be a microphone stand.

LucilleBluth Fri 13-Nov-15 17:49:11

My facing neighbour sits in his double garage painting little figures in an above the knee overall/doctors coat looks weird. His lovely wife has just been in China for two months, he didn't walk the dogs and she had a nice shout at him. smile

LucilleBluth Fri 13-Nov-15 17:49:41

With no trousers on I should add!

Hassled Fri 13-Nov-15 17:53:00

My neighbours are just bastards. Nothing interesting about them. They're students who like to partaaay (sorry) and one of them shrieks and giggles constantly in a high pitched way that makes me want to stab her. I am becoming consumed by my hatred of them.

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