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AIBU?

To never want to work again?

9 replies

AuntieMeemz · 13/11/2015 13:10

I've been signed off sick with stress, and had time to think. Just before I was signed off, it was discovered that I'm dyspraxic, which explains the difficulties at work. I hate hate all the stress, anxiety and pressure in my job, and all the job descriptions I look at all mention pressure, deadlines, multi-tasking etc.
I'm not young, but am well educated, yet when I get things wrong at work, I hate the way people react. I sometimes misdo a part of a task, (despite meticulous planning and organising myself) which is so humiliating. I can create perfect spreadsheets, reports, formulas, meetings etc, but it takes me longer than other people. I have learned to handle a massive workload, but sometimes make silly mistakes.
Its been great being at home in peace, and finally having proper time for my children. For me, is just too short to waste it on the agony of trying to work.

I have a creative hobby, which I'm trying to make into a business, but it's slow progress.

How many of you would be brave, forget the job, and persue the business?

OP posts:
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expatinscotland · 13/11/2015 13:12

Running your own business is a lot of work and if the business fails, you'll have to go on JSA, where they will make you work.

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FlameProofBoots · 13/11/2015 13:13

I've been signed off with depression and stress since the start of this year. I've now been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.

We've decided that it's best for me to stay at home for now, and maybe get a little job down the line. I know I'm never going back to work in an office again. Do what makes you happy.

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Hero1callylost · 13/11/2015 13:16

I think for me it would be a financial decision - how long can you fund exploring whether a business could work and what's your plan B if it fails? Try to take your health out of the picture and view your business plan objectively.

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badtime · 13/11/2015 13:16

I suppose the only real question is if you can afford to do this?

If not, you may want to get a part-time job with low pressure (bar work or something) and work on your business in your increased spare time.

I am also well educated and, frankly, underemployed, because I suffer from anxiety disorders and deal poorly with pressure. It is not morally superior (or inferior) to work in a high pressure job.

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Luxyelectro · 13/11/2015 13:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ilikedmyoldusernamebetter · 13/11/2015 13:25

Nothing wrong with not wanting to work in a theoretical way - think a lot of people feel like that :o

But running your own business will be a lot of work if you want to make a real living from it - there will be all the financial, logistical, marketing and administrative tasks to do, not just the creative hobby bit. If you run your own business you won't avoid working, but maybe you mean you don't want to work for anyone, but to be your own boss?

As others say it all comes down to finance - if you have a partner whose income is enough to support the family then its a valid choice if you are both in full agreement, otherwise unless you're independently wealthy just "not wanting to work again" is a bit of a pipe dream surely?

Most of us who are not already retired are going to be working, or going back to work after a few years as sahp, until we are at least 67 whether we want to or not these days :(

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Mistigri · 13/11/2015 14:03

My OH suffers from chronic anxiety and his last period of salaried employment put him in hospital. I am absolutely sure that he will never have another salaried job.

However he now has his own, successful, business. He takes work when he feels well and he cuts back when he feels stressed. He is good at what he does and turns down about 90% of the work he is offered. It is much better for him as he has total control of his workload and his schedule.

So it can be done, and salaried employment isn't the only way to go. Good luck.

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Enjolrass · 13/11/2015 14:17

It really depends in your finances and partner if you have one.

I work for myself, from home. I took a pay cut to do it. But in the long run its better.

However it does have its stresses and things still need to be perfect and done in a timely fashion.

Me and dh work together so are both at home all day. Thy was a bit stressed. And while we earn enough to pay bills and some left over, the possibility of losing a client or two and not being able to draw a wage is always in the back of your mind.

When a client makes a big order there is always a sigh of relief.

It is better being at home. But it's not easy and the pressure is on.

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goldierocks · 13/11/2015 15:14

For me, it would depend completely on whether I owned a property outright and I had the funds available to support myself and my son (guaranteed, in the bank).

I had an accident and broke my back when my son was still a very young baby. I had an operation to repair the damage - think lots of rods and bolts. Whilst I was off work (sick leave), I discovered that I was quite good at a creative hobby. My work was published and I won quite a few competitions, so I was seriously thinking about making it a career.

Alas my then husband's abuse became intolerable (verbal, emotional, physical and financial). I had no choice but to go back to work so I could independently support my son and I, i.e. always be able to pay the mortgage and utilities. I couldn't guarantee being able to do that with my hobby.

I started back at work part-time initially when my son was in Y2; it took a very long time indeed and many reasonable adjustments before I could do full-time hours.

A year after my full-time return, my Dad became ill (and died) which was very tough both physically and emotionally. I found going to work to be a relief/escape from what was going on in my personal life, even though I was doing full-time hours condensed into three full days instead of five.

I still struggle some days, especially in damp weather. I have a scoliosis at the top of my spine as well as the surgical repair on my lumbar spine, which both ache a lot in damp weather. I've also got nerve damage in my legs, so cannot drive. On really bad days I work from home rather than commuting, but I do enjoy the interaction with other people.

If I had the choice, I would have loved to do my hobby as my job. Alas I'd never be able/comfortable to rely on anyone else to support me financially; the past decade has taught me that life is so utterly unpredictable so I'll never rely on anyone for money (including any government).

Good luck with your decision Flowers

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