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To feel like I'm back in high school thanks to my unfriendly boss?

(5 Posts)
pinklaydee Tue 10-Nov-15 15:25:09

I'm not being paranoid - my boss completely ignores me, but chats to my colleagues. It's getting me down. She even walks past me in the corridor or the street and purposefully avoids looking at me - unless I say hello, and she then replies. She has clear favourites on the team, and I'm not one of them, which is fine, but bloody well smile at me at least! I don't get it!
The latest was her coming over to our desks, just me and one colleague beside each other, she ignored me and asks my colleague how she was, chatting away. I tried to join in and she just looked at me oddly.
It's just ridiculous that, at the age of 39, I feel like the popular girls are leaving me out. She doesn't like people working pt, and it's been suggested that this may be a reason as I do, which sounds daft, but there has never been an issue with my work, problems, complaints, etc.
My team leader and colleagues are great, I know I put in effort and they recognise that, but I just wish she would show a bit of common courtesy!
Working through my CBT techniques does help, luckily. I've applied for voluntary redundancy and will be sure to ask her if I leave what the hell has been going on.
Do I just need to get over it????

Beeswax2017 Tue 10-Nov-15 15:29:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparkletastic Tue 10-Nov-15 15:35:16

I would confront her about it in a politely assertive 'don't fuck with me bitch' way.

MagicalHamSandwich Tue 10-Nov-15 16:06:37

It's very rude but there might also be issues you don't know about.

Point in case: When I got to know my now senior manager (then somewhat less advanced in his career and my direct superior) I was convinced that he hated my guts. He was courteous but hardly friendly, avoided eye contact while speaking to me and generally displayed body language that I interpreted as rejection/dislike. Being a new graduate and on probation I was terrified of being fired at any minute due to this.

Several years later and he's my favourite co-worker. Turns out he's just as painfully insecure as I am and finds it hard to look people in the eye because they might figure out just how useless he thinks he is ... Many others still find him either terrifying or arrogant due to his behaviour.

As a shy/socially awkward boss myself I care for and look after all my team but definitely am chattier with the ones who have approached me/have managed to penetrate my shell.

Now, obviously your boss could just be a horrible person - in which case screw her! Suggest you try approaching her for a chat before you decide that she deliberately ignores you, though.

pinklaydee Tue 17-Nov-15 16:27:17

Thanks everyone for your replies, they've helped me to make sense of it!

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