to expect DH to respect bedtime

[Coffeemorris]

I'm sitting alone in a dark bedroom feeling angry because my DH will not accept that DD (3yrs) should go to bed at bedtime (8pm).

Tonight I spent 45 minutes doing the usual routine, bedtime stories etc trying to get my DD to sleep while my DH spent the whole time shouting on the phone to his sister in the room next door.

We live in a tiny one bedroom flat, and I asked him to go to the kitchen as it's the furthest place from the bedroom and he just shouted at me, then fucked off to the kitchen.

After he finished the conversation, he came and turned on the TV so DD could watch cartoons, and they're still there.

He says all his family speak very loudly on the phone, even if the conversation is not at all hostile.

Five minutes before the bedtime routine started he sat in front of DD to eat a plate of chips, which she loves but can't eat at bedtime as she has severe acid reflux. I had to drag her to the bedroom.

What is wrong with him? He does none of the childcare whatsoever.

Ffs I just want DD in bed so she's not miserable the next day and so I can have a couple of hours to myself

Am I being unreasonable?

[Coffeemorris]

DD has wandered in, says she wants to go to bed. DH not bothered coming in to the bedroom even

[RJnomaaaaaargh]

Does he work Saturdays?

[ShamefulPlaceMarker]

What a wanker! Yanbu!

I don't understand it when parents make eachother's live difficult like this. It's plain selfish and weird!

[Coffeemorris]

He doesn't work on the weekend, which is why he's happy to be up late. He will have a lie in tomorrow morning.
His family are all like this - the kids just fit in around the adults' lives.
Basically he expects his life to be the same as it was before DD and is resentful when it's not. Whereas my life has changed beyond all recognition and I get resentful when he fails to appreciate it.

[Wolfiefan]

It's not bedtime he's not respecting. It's you and the fact you now have a child.

[heavens2betsy]

Sounds like you have two children in your house!
He needs to grow up and be a parent

[RJnomaaaaaargh]

Why's he having a lie in? I think he just volunteered to look after your over tired child tomorrow.

[Topseyt]

I assume you have booked your own lie-in for Sunday then, when he will gladly leap out of bed at the crack of dawn and look after HIS DD.

My DH could sometimes need reminded "she's your daughter too", as he would conveniently forget occasionally. He did accept the fact that life had changed, but did need the odd nudge kick up the arse to ensure he kept up with it as I had to.