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Primary schools pushing kids academically

(41 Posts)
Kiddiewinks2008 Sat 24-Oct-15 09:45:36

Interested to know views on this. DC go to a nice school where they are happy but another mum was complaining that her kids arent beinh challenged academically and she was going to move them.
I am more bothered that my kids are happy there and feel that they will be challenged later in life at secondary school but worried now that I am being too laid back about it!!
Aibu?

yeOldeTrout Sat 24-Oct-15 10:03:26

I guess folk can only talk about their own experiences. I'd rate happiness way over academic attainment myself, too, and I never take it for granted that my kids could be just as happy elsewhere. Worry about whether your children are doing well.

Teacher friend was chatting with her sister about this. TF is really laid back but had a strong opinion that most such parents who moved for these reasons in primary were BU.

LunchpackOfNotreDame Sat 24-Oct-15 10:05:49

It's a balancing act isn't it. Kids need to reach their full potential and cruising won't get them there but yes they also need to be socially happy aswell

Leavingsosoon Sat 24-Oct-15 10:05:59

Well, it is a school wink

Gileswithachainsaw Sat 24-Oct-15 10:08:31

depends doesn't it. if her kids are being left to coast or the work isn't being differentiated or progress is slow then those are valid concerns.

if they are reception kids and she's maiming they aren't reading Stephen King yet then that's of course ridiculous. however being happy is important nut they should he given opportunity for learning too.

Kiddiewinks2008 Sat 24-Oct-15 10:08:50

I guess I have nothing to compare it to but my kids can read, write etc!! And seem to be doing fine!!
And school is an ofsted good school too - would be worried if they has inspection issues but they dont!

DrasticAction Sat 24-Oct-15 10:11:47

Kiddie its so dependent on the child.
In my dc cohort there is a wide range of needs and some of whom who have not done as well as my dc, so I would totally understand their parents worrying.

Op you must be worried to a degree too as you are posting about it? Rather than letting it slide of fyour back..

LunchpackOfNotreDame Sat 24-Oct-15 10:11:55

There is more to school than just reading and writing. If my dc left primary only able to read and write I'd be livid

Sirzy Sat 24-Oct-15 10:15:18

Children should be being 'pushed' in a way that they are challenged and encouraged to meet their potential.

That doesn't mean that they should be under pressure but they should be making progress at a good rate for them.

MadameJosephine Sat 24-Oct-15 10:15:53

Passing an ofsted inspection is all well and good but it doesn't necessarily mean that the school would be the best fit for your particular child. Of course I would want my child to be happy but I would also want them to be encouraged to reach their full potential and if I felt a school couldn't offer that then I would probably consider moving them too

Kiddiewinks2008 Sat 24-Oct-15 10:16:43

My reading & writing comment was a bit tongue in cheek....

Drastic- I don't know if I should be worried or not, thats the thing! DC seem to be doing fine and the school has a good reputation- thats the thing- I have nothing to compare it to! And I am not a particularly pushy parent - I just want my kids to be happy and enjoy their learning experience.

LadyintheRadiator Sat 24-Oct-15 10:29:09

Enjoying their learning experience won't count for much if they get to secondary and can't manage the expectations on them in year 7. I want my children to be pushed and challenged in a way that makes learning enjoyable, the two are not mutually exclusive.

esiotrot2015 Sat 24-Oct-15 10:32:03

Agree with Ladyintheradiator

At primary they need to learn spelling punctuation the basic rules of fractions decimals etc otherwise they'll struggle at secondary school
but they can do that as well as all the other stuff

Iamnotloobrushphobic Sat 24-Oct-15 10:34:52

There is a difference between a child being challenged and a child being pushed and there is no reason that a child who is challenged can't also be happy.
The ideal is for children to be sufficiently challenged to reach their full potential whilst being happy.
There is some research which suggests that bright children who are not sufficiently challenged in primary school really struggle when they get to Secondary school and are suddenly challenged because they haven't learned how to cope with being slightly out of their comfort zone academically and they therefore give up without trying and just say that the work is too difficult.

Kiddiewinks2008 Sat 24-Oct-15 10:46:16

But how do I know if there is something wrong- school has great reputation locally and is very oversubscribed- teachers are telling me my DCs are doing well and they are happy! It wasnt until someone mentioned their concerns that I was even worried!
There are other schools locally that have a reputation for being more academic- I might try and see if any other parents have concerns first.

DrasticAction Sat 24-Oct-15 10:46:25

But who does have anything to compare too?

Its good to keep an eye on these things but your friends dc may have different needs to yours.

It just seems to me you want us all to say what a pushy parent she is but your great and very happy with your dc learning>

LunchpackOfNotreDame Sat 24-Oct-15 10:48:58

If your child is upset, bored, getting into trouble, complaining the work is too easy...

Sirzy Sat 24-Oct-15 10:49:27

Do you think your children are progressing well? Are they complaining work is too easy? Are they bored in school?

Don't worry about other people's children. The important thing for you is if your children's needs are being met.

DrasticAction Sat 24-Oct-15 10:49:56

Op nearly every parent will have different concerns there. As I said , all pupils have different needs, some will be top of class and great readers and writers are they being challenged? What about the ones struggling, the ones in the middle and so on.

Is your friend used to private prep? Does she have eye on 11+? Does she had friends with dc in private schools who are pushing like mad? Does she come from another culture?

who knows??

All parents I chat to at my dc school have a range of compliments and complaints about the school.

Kiddiewinks2008 Sat 24-Oct-15 10:50:28

Err, no, I am not trying to get anyone to say she is a pushy parent at all. I am asking for advice to work out what to do.

Kiddiewinks2008 Sat 24-Oct-15 10:52:02

Drastic- friend does come from a private educated background so I guess that probably explains some of it!

Gruach Sat 24-Oct-15 10:52:55

I might try and see if any other parents have concerns first.

Unfortunately other people's opinions are irrelevant. This is one area where you really do have to be brave and think entirely for yourself.

How old are your children?

Bimblywibble Sat 24-Oct-15 10:56:32

It is great that they are happy. But I want my DC to be stimulated and engaged in school, and enjoy their learning rather than switching off with boredom. If we want them to "learn how to learn" rather than just being spoonfed, they need to learn persistence and take risks in their learning. They can't do that if they are coasting.

It might well be that your child is being challenged, and either your friend's child is not, or your friend is wrong. It is really difficult to know what your child does all day, and how that relates to what children do in other schools. But I know the sort of special work my very able child gets, and my other one is always praised for contributing in class and working hard so I am pretty sure both are engaged and being challenged enough for them.

yeOldeTrout Sat 24-Oct-15 11:30:28

I guess the nice thing about Nat.Curr. levels is everyone could figure out if their child was on-target or not. New system gives percentiles, doesn't it? Which also indicates relative ability, I presume?

I've always been delighted if my kids were at least average academically or at anything else, not in trouble for bad behaviour & happy to go to school. Rest is sheer bonus. I don't really get ambitious people even though I live with DD who is ultra-ambitious (now as a teen, not as a child).

yeOldeTrout Sat 24-Oct-15 11:30:48

.. and I find actively pushy people very funny to watch. Bizarre species.

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