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aibu to make a comment about this?

(27 Posts)
sltorres9 Sat 24-Oct-15 05:00:27

A woman with a six week old baby, who is breastfeeding has just posted a picture of her Friday night alcohol drinks. A few people asked her is she allowed to be drinking cause of bf, she says she's playing it safe by 'only having a few' and she hasn't even expressed. It's none of my business by she has pregnant friends, surely she's not as stupid to make everybody believe that? Or am I in the wrong? Is it ok

Hurr1cane Sat 24-Oct-15 05:06:29

It's not OK in my opinion but it's her body and her baby so I'd keep out of it

minimalist000001 Sat 24-Oct-15 05:14:08

I think one very small glass occasionally with a meal would be ok in mind but nothing more. It's her choice though

ArriettyMatilda Sat 24-Oct-15 06:26:01

From what I've read not much alcohol passes through to breastmilk. Also the main risk from research seems to be that baby will take less milk. It is totally different to drinking in pregnancy. At that age we were cosleeping though so I wouldn't have even had one. I'd be concerned about a baby that young having any breastmilk containing alcohol and especially if mum was in sole charge of baby. How many is a few? Now I'd feel quite tipsy and still breastfeed dd but this happens less than once a month and has only been since dd was about 18 months old. Someone may be along with links to research as I can't remember where I found them before.

ArriettyMatilda Sat 24-Oct-15 06:27:38

Sorry I didn't answer if you were being unreasonable. It depends how much she is drinking and whether she has researched into it and can explain why it is OK. Can you explain why it's not?

minime8 Sat 24-Oct-15 06:32:34

The kellymom website has lots of good info on breastfeeding and the effects of alcohol, it depends how much she's drinking and when she's likely to have to feed her baby again. Maybe she's left a bottle of formula for tonight? Breastmilk doesn't store alcohol so 'pumping and dumping' doesn't help, it just processes from your milk in the same way it does from your bloodstream.

Duckdeamon Sat 24-Oct-15 06:39:59

Yabu, none of your or friends' business,

AdjustableWench Sat 24-Oct-15 06:42:45

Commenting on this post will achieve nothing except perhaps conflict. This woman's pregnant friends are not your responsibility. She can't make anyone believe anything, and neither can you. You might disagree with her actions, but it's best to keep your thoughts to yourself on this occasion.

GinGinGin Sat 24-Oct-15 06:44:56

It takes roughly 2 hours per unit of alcohol to pass through your bloodstream (& therefore make your milk alcohol-free). It depends how often baby is feeding/how much alcohol she's had. Obviously if she's wheeled then that's extremely bad for her to breastfeed, but it's not clear as to how much she's had

HaydeeofMonteCristo Sat 24-Oct-15 06:50:23


Surely she just needs to wait a few hours (I.e.the night time) to let it pass through the bloodstream? If she hasn't expressed she (or hopefully the dad!) can use a bit of formula to tide them over.

We can't keep judging mums for everything they do.

Slugonthewindow Sat 24-Oct-15 06:53:26

Yabu as its not your business. (But I'll happily be unreasonable with you - have a glass of wine if you must with your tea but friday drinkies? With a baby of 6 weeks? No way on this green earth I'd have drunk with a baby that age but that's just me. It was all about DS and his needs and boosting supply, not risking any alcohol cross over) so yabu but I agree.

Her pregnant friends will bed to make their own choices.

Jw35 Sat 24-Oct-15 07:11:26

I agree with Slug. I wouldn't drink 'a few' with a 6 week old baby either and I was formula feeding and she was born at xmas with drinks all around me!
But it's none of our business and maybe she's had a difficult time.

NerrSnerr Sat 24-Oct-15 07:49:44

YABU. None of your business at all. Maybe she's done her research on breastfeeding and alcohol. It is ok to have a couple of drinks. With a 6 month old she needs support from people she know, not judgement.

LumpySpaceCow Sat 24-Oct-15 07:50:48

I wonder what it has to do with you.
Lots of false information surrounding bf and alcohol. No need to pump and dump as milk production is a continual production and the alcohol doesn't just store in her breast-feeding is excreted in the same time as it is from your blood stream and this varies from person to person. Little alcohol actually passes to the milk but the main issues with alcohol and bfing are the same as looking after a formala fed baby and drinking- if you're drunk it can affect your parenting capabilities.
When my children were that age, I might have the odd glass of wine- but if I did it was low alcohol and drank over a while as they both cluster fed in the evening. When they were older (post 6 months) I wasn't too concerned if I had a couple as they didn't feed as often (not that I would get steaming drunk!)
Back to your original question, yes I think yabu. You don't know all the circumstances (the baby must be drinking something whilst she is out-maybe formula or ebm as unless only out- 6 week old babies feed quite often). Commenting won't achieve anything.

lanbro Sat 24-Oct-15 08:05:28

YABU absolutely nothing to do with you, I would be furious if it was me and you made a comment. As pps have said, very little alcohol would get into the bm, in fact drinking a large amount of orange juice could put the same amount of ethanol in your milk, according to the research I did while bf.

I despise this attitude, who do you actually think you are to make unsolicited comments especially without knowing any facts?

BondJayneBond Sat 24-Oct-15 08:16:33

Drinking and breastfeeding is completely different to drinking while pregnant. Here's a useful link for more information.

Key points being that very little alcohol passes to the milk, so a breastfed baby whose mother has had a few drinks will be exposed to much less alcohol than an in-utero baby whose mother has had a few drinks.

If she's only having a few drinks and then it's a couple of hours before she feeds the baby, then the alcohol content of the milk will be minimised. I wouldn't have drank alcohol in the evening when breastfed DS2 was that age as he tended to cluster fed a lot in the evenings when small, but perhaps her baby has typically settled down for a longish sleep at that time.

Also, expressing milk has no effect on how quickly alcohol leaves breastmilk, so the only reason for her to express milk would be for the mother's comfort (e.g. if she was planning on not breastfeeding overnight to be sure all alcohol had left her system and was going to bottle feed baby for that time, her breasts might get uncomfortably full without expressing).

The main issue is that drinking alcohol might affect her ability to care for her baby, especially if she co-sleeps, but this would equally be an issue if the baby was formula fed.

AFewGoodWomen Sat 24-Oct-15 09:45:35

What makes you think her pregnant friends will follow suit anyway?

Duckdeamon Sat 24-Oct-15 09:50:36

Yes, her gullible pregnant friends could be led to the bottle! Because there's such a shortage of information on how and how not to behave when pregnant and zero scrutiny of pregnant womens behaviour, right?

TheOriginalWinkly Sat 24-Oct-15 09:55:40

Yes you are wrong, and if I had people posting on my Facebook questioning me for having a drink when I'd done the research I wouldn't be best pleased.

yeOldeTrout Sat 24-Oct-15 09:57:09

I think it's sad you think all her pg friends are a bunch of sheep who will just follow her lead. Obviously OP disagrees but doesn't have to comment. Others will be the same.

I jolly well would drink both when pg & when I had a 6 week old baby.
But admittedly, my idea of 'drinking' is a small glass of cheap champers over an hour.

Only1scoop Sat 24-Oct-15 09:58:25

None of your business.

HackerFucker22 Sat 24-Oct-15 10:08:46

I posted a while back as I'd expressed, gone out for the evening and my babysitter (sil) had managed to knock over a whole bottle of breast milk. The consensus was to just go ahead and feed my baby anyway - despite me probably having had best part of a bottle of wine!!! It was that or emergency formula. Baby was older [5 months] and it was fine. I got in at 11pm. .fed her at 3am and then again in the morning.

She is older now and weaning / going much longer without feeding so I partake in a few glasses of wine at the weekend. I time it around babies feeds. Though. So I'll have my wine after her evening feed - knowing she won't feed from 8pm until 2 or 3am.

No way would I have been able to do this at 6w and baby fed almost constantly but I have had the odd glass here and there since about 3m. Now I can drink a little bit more (2 or 3 small glasses) as baby is older, in a routine and not feeding as often.

gamerchick Sat 24-Oct-15 10:17:29

Why would she express? Are you one of those who thinks milk should be pumped and dumped?

I wouldn't drink purely because I coslept and had to deal with night feeds not because of alcohol levels.

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed Sat 24-Oct-15 10:22:30

It's actually fine to drink a bit. Breast milk metabolizes alcohol so actually the main affect to the milk is it tastes funny, with virtually no alcohol content passing to the baby. The main danger is being under the influence when in charge of a baby. A lot of the breastfeeding experts advice was that if you're sober enough to effectively care for a baby, then your milk if fine.

I think for people to judge when they actually don't have much information (such as thinking pumping and dumping is effective) is very unreasonable.

KatieLatie Sat 24-Oct-15 10:27:01

The occasional drink when Breast feeding isn't a problem.

Regardless, I would still keep out.

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