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to think he should be doing more

(6 Posts)
northernsoul78 Mon 19-Oct-15 17:55:51

Background. We have 3dc. They are 10 8 and 3. Dh recently inherited some money so decided to leave his stressful job. He originally worked with commute from 6am to 7pm and literally did nothing in the house each evening bar maybe one club pick up. At weekends he would do very basic gardening, household bill paying but not kids admin and very rarely diy. As I work very part time I kind of accepted this. I of course do all the childcare , bedtime, night waking etc. I am lucky I can go to the gym a few times and week when older 2 are at school and dd3 can do creche.
Anyway for the last 3 weeks he has been at home job searching. Obviously I consider job searching to be essential and whilst he does this I an only too happy to be looking after dc and do housework etc.
He also has spent some time doing some overdue garage clearing etc. However I am still doing all the school runs, club runs, supermarket shopping, childcare whilst he is having a relaxing time watching tv and playing computer games. I am also trying to build my part time business but I feel unsupported.
He also has planned to make garden and windows maintenance free. So even when he returns to work he will have very little to do.
so does paying the bills and jobsearching equal my contibution because I am really resenting the fact that I am downstairs cooking dinner and entertaining 3 year old whilst he is in the study playing video games.

3littlefrogs Mon 19-Oct-15 18:00:10

He is not being fair at all.
Maybe he needed a bit of rest, but now he needs to pull his weight.

If I am being charitable, maybe he doesn't know what needs doing so make him a list?

Playing video games while he could be playing with his 3 year old is just lazy and mean IMO.

Fooshufflewickbannanapants Mon 19-Oct-15 18:01:03

You should have equal amounts of leisure/off time. I couldn't put up with a partner who didn't want to ensure this.

northernsoul78 Mon 19-Oct-15 18:01:23

Meant to say he does cook the odd meal (well bung something in the oven) and may wash up once a week. He will ignore washing machine alarm. Recently I was going to be out when it ended so I asked him to take uniform out and air it and tumble dry rest. I came home to find wet uniform dumped on draining board.

3littlefrogs Mon 19-Oct-15 18:19:10

I would be absolutely enraged by that OP.
That is just rude, lazy and disrespectful.

How did you handle it at the time?

northernsoul78 Mon 19-Oct-15 18:39:38

I just pointed out that it won't dry by magic. He claimed he got distracted by dc. Well welcome to my world.

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