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to be freaking out that my son has gone free range for the first time?

(29 Posts)
zippyone Tue 18-Aug-15 16:20:21

Today I went to pick up my 11 year old son from summer school and his newish friend (they went to junior school together but werent really friends before this summer school for their new secondary school) asked if he could go to his house for dinner. He said his dad said it was ok, so I asked him to phone his dad up to check that it really was ok and get his address etc.

So I gave him my phone and let him walk with his friend to his friends house. This new friend seems so much more mature than my son. I usually drop him off or pick him up from friends and he doesn't walk anywhere by himself as school is so far away.

My DP says to relax and let him have some freedom but I am freaking out and can't wait until he's back!

I know I'm probably overprotective and should relax!

Sparklingbrook Tue 18-Aug-15 16:24:28

Oh god I remember it well with DS1. He just suddenly started going out and about at that age.
I couldn't relax, I couldn't think about anything else other than when he would be back. I would pace. DH would be all hmm

Then, one day he went off to the park as normal and i realised I hadn't thought about him for an hour or two. blush

My two are now 16 and 13 and I only ever know vaguely where they are this holiday.

MitzyLeFrouf Tue 18-Aug-15 16:31:42

He's probably being initiated into a street gang right now.

Coffeemarkone Tue 18-Aug-15 16:39:09

mitzy behave yourself [grin[
well he IS 11, secondary school coming up so you are doing the right thing OP.
In about 5 years you wont know where he is from one hour to the next - as sparkling said.

zippyone Tue 18-Aug-15 16:40:18

A street gang?! shock

I am most worried about traffic as like I said he is not used to walking about by himself although his new friend seems very streetwise and he has some roadsense really.

Leaving him at the school to walk about 30 mins to his friends was sooooo hard! I called him about 30 mins later and he said they weren't at his friends yet but nearly.

I was out with friends way before age 11 but I just feel so nervous about letting him do it.

Fatmomma99 Tue 18-Aug-15 16:41:54

I was you 2 years ago. It's what we have to do, and it is so, so hard.

But it gets easier.

Good luck!

G1veMeStrength Tue 18-Aug-15 16:44:00

HE'LL BE FINE flowers

(I'd be worrying too. DS goes out a tiny bit and I know I've got to increase it)

MitzyLeFrouf Tue 18-Aug-15 16:46:15

I'm only joking OP. I'm sure he's perfectly safe and having a great time.

It's only natural for you to worry although I'm sure he'd probably be completely 'oh Mum for God's sake' if he caught wind of your stress grin

MyIronLung Tue 18-Aug-15 16:55:55

My dd is 18 and I still feel like this grin
When she's on a night out with her mates I can't relax until I know she's home. It can be 3/4 in the morning before I can properly breath again hmm

zippyone Tue 18-Aug-15 17:00:53

Glad I'm not the only one - thought I was being completely irrational - thanks smile

Goshthatsspicy Tue 18-Aug-15 17:02:12

holds hand
The first times are hell.
It really does get easier, l promise.
My eldest will be 17 this year, if you'd told me (when he was 11) what he'd be up to now.. I think it would have finished me off!

LadyPeterWimsey Tue 18-Aug-15 17:09:31

When DS was that age, I couldn't relax for worrying about whether he was ok when out with local friends, and it took a good term of his one hour commute to school for me to stop insisting on him texting me when he arrived.

This summer, having just turned 17, he slept (or not, in fact) in an airport overnight and then flew the next day between two European countries and took a bus and two trains to join us at the other end. I was longing for the days when it was just a bus ride to the next town! He made it though.

clary Tue 18-Aug-15 17:15:54

It's fine OP. It's a good thing for him to start having more independence now.

Assuming he knows about road safety etc, he could start running small errands for you at the local shop this summer as well. In fact this is the main reason I had my children - that and to make me a cup of tea grin.

Is he going to make his own way to secondary school? If so, it might be worth practising over the rest of the holiday.

lastuseraccount123 Tue 18-Aug-15 17:18:51

yup, me too. mine is 11 and has started taking the bus by herself places. She's fine and she loves it but I worry, worry, worry.

but agree, it's necessary. The sad thing is she is the ONLY one of her friends who regularly uses public transit on her own.

zippyone Tue 18-Aug-15 17:43:39

I know it is a good idea to let him have some freedom and no he will be driven to near school and picked up also near school because of the distance/location and I have to take my DD to the infant school round the corner anyway (she is 5).

ProfYaffle Tue 18-Aug-15 17:46:44

I'm at the same stage with dd1, she's also 11 and starts High School in September. She only started going out alone at the start of the holidays, now she's got her own keys! The first time was nerve wracking but we're all rather blase now smile

StanSmithsChin Tue 18-Aug-15 17:52:02

He is a child not a chicken. He is playing out like children do not being free range confused

Well done for getting past your anxiety though and letting him have some freedom that cannot have been easy. smile

zippyone Tue 18-Aug-15 18:01:42

Yes I know he's a child not a chicken but didn't know how else to describe it? Not so good with words.

I am still nervous now as just called him and no answer, his friend said his dad would drop him back about 6pm.

Redshoes55 Tue 18-Aug-15 18:07:56

Of course you are nervous, you are his mum.

You did good. It gets easier as they get older and more sensible. Mine are 25,24.16,15,, still worry. And grandchild on the scene soon. Yikes.

Op you are completely normal. smile

Sparklingbrook Tue 18-Aug-15 18:12:11

I am sure 'free range' was mentioned on another thread, i thought it was a jovial term for your child being out and about minus parent/guardian.

MadamArcatiAgain Tue 18-Aug-15 18:17:58

I thought being 'free range' meant wearing no undies confused

Sparklingbrook Tue 18-Aug-15 18:20:19


zippyone Tue 18-Aug-15 18:31:19

Think that's "going commando" Sparkling grin

Sparklingbrook Tue 18-Aug-15 18:34:51

YY I have never heard of not wearing pants as being free range.

Is he back zippy?

zippyone Tue 18-Aug-15 19:12:49

No not yet but he did call me back and said could he stay a bit longer until about 7:30 and his friends dad said that was fine. so I am more relaxed now I know he actually at his friends house and not roaming the streets and joining a street gang!

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