Family confusion

[libertysilk]

Ex is not interested in dd, which I'm coming to terms with. Met the mother of his other dd and would appreciate others views please.
She said that ex is a c*, and do I want her husband to go round and have a word. Ex had painted her in a very bad light, telling lots of lies. She said he's the liar and chose some more choice swear words. Although kind, she was very forward. Inviting dd and I into her family, and calling herself aunty to dd.
Few email exchanges, and then her asking my address so her dd can bring presents for dd for first meeting. I suggested meeting in a neutral place, and maybe presents could come later. She switched, saying she understands ex hurt me, but I've hurt her dd and offended her family, they've been nothing but kind and open to me etc.
I've emailed her dd to try and arrange a neutral meeting place and no response.
Am I in the wrong? I didn't ask for anything, push myself on her, or say I wanted her husband to visit ex. Feel she has really judged me as I've not followed what she wanted. Upshot of all of this is both dd's haven't met and are unlikely to.
She is very well known in my local area, and has passed me off to people as having mental health issues.
I've not emailed her anymore, and have stopped visiting places she frequents.

[TheForger]

When she said 'Have a word' I read it as physically threatening someone . If so, I'd avoid anyone who intimated that they could get someone beaten up for me. I would be very wary of getting involved here, look at her reaction to a simple request, offended her family? Really? You will do something else that 'offends' her at some point and she will kick again.

[DodgedAnAsbo]

She sounds like a nutter

[Panzee]

Run.

[wizzywig]

this is your daughters half sister?

[Kangaroosjump]

She sounds hard work

I don't think the presents thing was too wierd though if they're sisters, it just seems she thought this was about bonding your DD with her family and her DD is family to her

She took your contact as a request to be involved and then you rejected her being as involved as she presumed you wanted

[libertysilk]

It was by pure chance we met. She runs a baby group, which dd and I went to, not knowing she ran it. It seemed she wanted dd involved in her family, and was not accepting that I wanted to take things slowly.
I totally understand her feeling rejected, but, its not about her but our dd's. I found her to be really hard work.
By way of apology, dd and I took flowers to her baby group, saying we couldn't stop, but, as a peace offering, and sorry if I'd offended her, sent the wrong message etc.
Don't know what more I can/could have done??

Or did I do too much?

[Kangaroosjump]

Oh is your DD a baby and her DD older?

I think people like to give presents to babies and she probably thought refusing it was odd aside from them being sisters, more so because they are sisters

I really dislike the idea that she can pass you off as having MH issues to people as it sounds like her job gives credibility to that when in fact it should only make her bound to confidentiality even if it was true. I wonder what she says about other parents attending her group?! If you do have any contact I would be wary of telling her anything at all

Do you want your DD to meet her sister?

[libertysilk]

I thought when she suggested her dd meeting my dd it would be lovely, but, it seemed it was strictly on her terms. She definitely uses her position to control and divide. I've seen other parents locally that attend the group and they now ignore us.

[TidyDancer]

She sounds....interesting.

Need to know specifics about this mental health thing. If she's said 'that woman is crazy' for eg, it's not nice but imo forgivable as a throwaway comment. If she's specifically said you have a mental health condition then that's different.

Broadly though, if it's possible I would be doing all I could to facilitate the contact between the two DCs. It ultimately is about them.

[libertysilk]

Yes, I wanted it to be about our dd's, but it seems she didn't.
She actually told others I definitely have mental health issues. I'm quite shy when meeting new people, which doesn't equate to MH issues!