to think managing a house and familiy is more than cleaning?

[FurtherSupport]

I'm going back to work f-t after a decade of working very p-t.

A friend asked if I'm looking forward to it, which I am, but I said I was a bit nervous about how we're going to manage everything after being used to me being at home a lot.

Her response was "why? you won't be doing any cleaning". I've employed a cleaner 2 hours a week. I'll be the first to admit I haven't been overworked since DC started school but my contribution to the household is a damn sight more than 2 hours pw!

We will get used to it and Dc and DH know and accept they'll have to pull their weight more, but we've all been used to me been there to supervise homework, run to the bank, pick up cookery ingredients with little notice, organising and being there for work on the house, school meetings, just making sure life runs smoothly. I also have a number of voluntary/community things that won't just disappear.

Of course we will get it sorted but I think it might take some time to get used to. I feel like the last 10 years of my life has been dismissed as cleaning....

[MamaLazarou]

Well, yes, there are a million and one things to organise, not just cleaning. Does your friend have kids?

If it helps, I did a meal-planner spreadsheet when I went back to work. It had a rolling 2 week menu plan with a tab for the ingredients. It took the guesswork out of my weekly online shop and we found it easy to stick to.

[LilyMayViolet]

Yanbu, what a silly thing to say! I agree it's a lot more than that. As Mama said meal planning is really helpful as is having a good routine. I'm sure you'll be fine once you get into it but I agree it's daunting at first.

[Finola1step]

Silly thing to say. Yes, a cleaner for 2 hours per week will help. But it will be taking the edge off type help. You will find your own new routine. But you can't do everything you used to do as well as the new job. Something will need to give.

[Nolim]

Your friend has no clue

[IamtheDevilsAvocado]

Utter toss!

Its a bit like SOME men who think taking out the bins a couple of times a month is a fair share of household tasks!

It is also not recognising that often with parenting /caring/household management the default person is the woman...
You are the one who is called if a kid is sick in school.
You are the one silently judged... Often by other women, if the house is less than sparkling... As if no one else living has responsibility for these tasks... Etc etc
You are the one who jas responsibility food shopping.
... Who has to plan and buy gifts for other kids' parties etc...

[homebythesea]

Your cleaner will not remember family members' birthdays and anniversaries, organise your DC's activities and social lives, take your pets to the vets, organise and book holidays, pay the bills, do the admin filing, plan and shop for meals, attend school events, be the emotional crutch /disciplinarian, empty the dishwasher 3 times a bloody day, do the laundry and put it away etc etc etczzzzz

[MsVestibule]

Cleaning is the least of it! Of course it will be great to have your floors vacuumed and bathrooms cleaned, but that's all. (Is 2 hours even enough to do all the cleaning?)

Just ignore her. Hopefully your DH and DC will step up, but it will be a big change for them after being used to not being responsible for the house/admin/school stuff. Have you all decided how the chores will be split up, or will it be an 'everybody just mucks in' type thing? The latter would never work in my house!!

[whothefuckhas5children]

My husband is a SAHD and his contribution is much, much more than cleaning (I too have a cleaner come in). I often wonder how we'd manage if both of us worked outside home.

Don't doubt yourself just give your friend this look