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Friend Borrowed Something and Broke It

(33 Posts)
TheChandler Sat 18-Jul-15 22:24:36

Thoughts please. Lent something valuable to a friend and due to carelessness, hurrying and not following instructions, she broke part of it.

She got it fixed, but it was a cheap fix (welded) and it broke again. Told her this politely and she is not showing willing to get it properly fixed and seems to think its due to the item being worn or having a fault. (it isn't, its very well made and not at all old, the part wouldn't have broken if it hadn't been bent back and pushed into the wrong position).

Feel really awkward, and also very aggrieved, as I've been spending time trying to find out where I can get it fixed or a replacement part. Without success. Its a real headache for me and could cost a couple of hundred at least if I ever find somewhere willing to do it. I've had to measure and re-measure all its angles, email them off, search the internet and so on. Friend has done nothing and is avoiding me. A relatively new friend but part of the same friendship group.

CrapBag Sat 18-Jul-15 22:28:01

She is avoiding you because she knows she is in the wrong and doesn't want to cough up.

I think it's unlikely she will hand the money over even if you do manage to find someone to fix it. I'd never lend her anything again, never lend something of value and I wouldn't pursue a close friendship with someone who thinks this is an acceptable way to treat something that has been leant to them.

MargoReadbetter Sat 18-Jul-15 22:28:53

This is very awkward. As she's a new friend I can see this friendship not going any further and mutual distrust from now on.

Lesson learnt both sides.

Penfold007 Sat 18-Jul-15 22:28:59

I never lend anything that's so valuable that either I couldn't bear to loose it or it's not insured. Think a friendship may be over.

whothehellknows Sat 18-Jul-15 22:29:13

Sounds like the friendship is done.

itsmeitscathy Sat 18-Jul-15 22:30:03

I guess it's the risk uou take when you lend something. people never treat others belongings as well as they would their own. I think you need yo write this one off I'm afraid

itsmeitscathy Sat 18-Jul-15 22:30:41

abd yes, no longer a friend.

MargoReadbetter Sat 18-Jul-15 22:30:46

(Things going through my head: camera, Satnav, telescope.)

workingdilemma Sat 18-Jul-15 22:31:25

Write it off, buy a new one and sell the old one for parts if feasible, as it sounds like it's a real hassle to fix. Ask for the full replacement cost if you wish, but I doubt you'll get anywhere. Obviously never lend this person anything again.

TheChandler Sat 18-Jul-15 22:36:57

I can't buy another one. It was specially made, the manufacturer has stopped making it and won't make another one as a one off. I was prepared to write it off but I can't actually get it fixed at all. I think it might be possible to get an engineer to specially manufacture something from steel (which would be heavier than the alloy its made from) but I have no idea where to go about looking. Its a huge hassle.

I can still use it but its a bit dangerous as there is one sharp jagged end now and the one end that remains is overloaded and likely to break.

I literally am at a loss to know what to do with it. Its part of an attachment for a vehicle.

MargoReadbetter Sat 18-Jul-15 22:41:34

You'll have to write it off, sounds like a lot of hassle. Small claims court if you can stand the hassle and social death to follow.

DoreenLethal Sun 19-Jul-15 04:05:24

Wha sort of attachment for a vehicle is such a state secret?

TheChandler Sun 19-Jul-15 04:22:14

Eh? Its a detachable towbar.

Concordial Sun 19-Jul-15 05:10:08

Write both the towbar and the friendship off.
As workingdilemma says, try and recoup some money from parts if it's that valuable. Buy another and don't lend it out.

somemothersdohavethem Sun 19-Jul-15 11:54:02

Yanbu it winds me up that people are so careless with other people's belongings

LazyLouLou Sun 19-Jul-15 12:05:41

Have a look in your local yellow pages/listings and look for Metal Fabricators. If you find a small, local one they are quite likely to make/repair one for you. BIL works in one and they always get small jobs from 'walk ins'. They usually give it to the machinist who most needs a bit of overtime.

As for the 'friend' tell her plainly what you think of her and then totally ignore her. You have no need to be particularly pleasant to someone who treats you like that!

TheChandler Sun 19-Jul-15 12:15:17

Manufacturer's/main dealer price for a new one fitted is £1700! Ex market would be at least £700.

Its so bloody irritating. I was there when they broke it, I had taken it out of my boot for them and while I tidied up my car they picked it up and started trying to fit it onto their car. I called out "if you wait a moment, I'll show you how to do it as I don't want it damaged". They ignored me and when I walked over a piece was lying on the ground.

I said "Whats that?" and they professed not to have noticed, then said it must have been broken anyway. Err, no I said. Now she seems to think she's doing me a favour, looking into fixing my broken towbar. I sent her a message last week asking if she was going to at least help look around for somewhere to fix it and she told me she would have more time to look into it in August, once she's back from holiday!

I have already spent several hours phoning around and the prospect of doing so next week or dropping off the bloody thing at yet another garage for them to look at it fills me with angst.

I am prepared to write it off, but not without tearing a strip off her.

DawnOfTheDoggers Sun 19-Jul-15 12:27:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Peshwari Sun 19-Jul-15 12:35:50

Hmm, think I'd be slightly more concerned that something so safety critical could be so easily broken

TheChandler Sun 19-Jul-15 12:38:59

I don't think many things could stand up to having a car reversed into them clumsily!

Peshwari Sun 19-Jul-15 12:47:57

Ah ok, that seems at odds with your friend trying to say it was worn/faulty. Not sure how they could run over something with a car and then try and claim damage was not related, they'd def be unreasonable to try and avoid responsibility in that situation.

Penfold007 Sun 19-Jul-15 13:04:14

Now your saying your friend ran the tow bar over with her vehicle and broke it? Simple claim off her car insurance.

HedgehogAtHome Sun 19-Jul-15 13:44:11

So she was trying to fit it onto her car while it was reversed over? Is your pal ok?

If she ran over it claim off her car insurance.

CalmYourselfTubbs Sun 19-Jul-15 13:47:29

could you go to the small claims court with this?

Methe Sun 19-Jul-15 13:55:11

I wouldn't be happy towing with a device a person could break in 5 minutes. It sounds positively dangerous to start with!

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