Just that, basically.I've been lurking around the boards for a while trying to find someone in a similar situation to find out how/if it got resolved. No luck, so here goes.
By way of brief background my sis is 2 years younger and has always been the baby/golden child of the family. Admittedly she is clever and hardworking, achieved highly at school, was no trouble to parents etc. I meanwhile was more of a typical teenager and PITA.
We're both now married and live nearby (parents still live in or home town a couple of hours away). I have a son 10, sister has two sons 9 and 7.
Sis and I fought like cat and dog during teen years but became close as adults especially once we lived nearby. Our boys also enjoyed seeing each other.
I suffered years of secondary infertility and multiple miscarriages including one well into second trimester. This was a huge strain on my marriage and mental health but we got through the ups and downs.
As we were about to give up (about to have last ditch attempt at fertility treatment I found I was pregnant naturally. This one stuck and our little miracle daughter was born last year. 
To my shock my sister cut me off as soon as she found out I was having a girl at the time of my 20 week scan. That is, she suddenly turned very frosty during the conversation and two days later after a bit of probing she said she was so unhappy at not having a daughter herself that she "could not be involved" and "had to stay away".
We had both chatted previously about hoping to have a daughter but in a joky way. I had no idea it meant so much to her.I said I understood and that the door was open for when she felt better about the idea. I also promised her I would not discuss this with other members of the family as we agreed she should not feel pressurised or embarrassed as well as dealing with her other feelings. I did tell my husband and she knew that.
Stupidly I thought she meant she needed a bit of time and space and by the time I gave birth it would be ok. No.My friends organised a secret baby shower, apparently she said she couldn't come. I texted her the day my daughter was born (I just said "baby born today" as I didn't want to rub it in by saying anything girly). No response though she later sent a card and gift. No visit though I made clear she would be welcome.
I have only seen her twice since my pregnancy announcement 18 months ago. Once at a family wedding when she blanked me, husband and children. Her husband seemed very confused and I think doesn't have the full picture. Then at a family picnic - same.
She was invited to my daughter's christening but didn't respond.
Obviously people have started to notice and ask. I didn't want to lie so now a few people know a potted version. However I kept my promise not to discuss with the rest of the family.My mum who is a nosey parker !! never mentions my sister do she must have been told something by her. I don't know what.
I'm so sad about it. I love her and miss her even though IMO she is being a pillock.
I'm also at times resentful and cross because my parents have had limited contact with me and my daughter, I suspect, because they are worried about upsetting my sister. She has always been a bit of a princess and emotionally open do they've always made allowances for her.I tend to bottle things up and people including my parents think I don't need emotional support in the same way. But it's not just me missing out but my children too.Also worried as my parents are in their 70s and what will happen when they need care or die? Surely she will have to talk to me then?
I don't think I can do anything else... I've kept the door open but I don't think it will change now.
AIBU for thinking she should have tried harder with her gender disappointment issues? I know when I was trying for baby so long I would get jealous of other people's pregnancies but when the baby was born I would force myself to visit and coo over the baby and found when faced with the reality I was no longer jealous and felt genuinely happy. AIBU to compare these feelings?
Has anyone experienced the same and did it ever get better?
AIBU?
To think my sister should make more effort to get over gender disappointment?
honeylulu · 17/07/2015 10:45
I've no experience of this and I'm sorry you're going through it 
I think clearly the softly softly approach isn't working, I'd be inclined to call her out on it and tell her in no uncertain terms to get over herself. I also wouldn't be hiding the reason she's behaving this way.
It's not like your relationship with her can get much worse but maybe she needs a kick up the backside to realise she's being utterly ridiculous? She could be getting so much enjoyment out of having a niece and she's wasting the opportunity, I know it's not the same as having a daughter but from the sound of your op you'd welcome them having a close relationship again? The mind boggles!
Sorry, no personal experience, but do you know if your sister has also been TTC? If so, that may be the real reason to her sudden blanking and she was using the sex of your child as an excuse. If she really is hung up on you having a daughter then no, it is not unreasonable to expect her to have got over it by now!
Congratulations as well.
What a shitty situation she has caused, it's so sad that she's missing out on a relationship with you and your family because of what seems to be jealousy.
Hopefully she'll come round eventually but I would just ignore her silly behaviour for now and not pander to her
Congratulations on your daughter
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So she's behaving ridiculously and you have to cover it up for her? 
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