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To enjoy the change in dynamic when one child is away?

(19 Posts)
Dancergirl Fri 26-Jun-15 16:44:46

Middle dd (12) has been away on a residential school trip this week. I'm feeling a bit guilty as I'm not missing her as much as I should and am quite enjoying being a family of 4 for a short while.

Oldest dd has been staying late at school for rehearsals a lot this week so it's been just me and little dd after school. So easy! No arguments, easier for everyone to use the bathroom, just the feeling of more space.

I am looking forward to seeing her though wink


haveabreakhaveakitkat Fri 26-Jun-15 16:50:06

YANBU. I enjoy time alone with the little one too.

EdgarAllenPoe Fri 26-Jun-15 16:51:17

YANBU so long as you don't let on to your other children!

Just rephrase it, it's not that you're enjoying their absence, it's that you're appreciating some one-to-one time with the youngest. There you go.

WorraLiberty Fri 26-Jun-15 16:53:06


My DS(16) has finished his GCSEs and it's been a pleasant change having him home in the day, while my 12yr old is at school.

As you say, it's just the change in dynamics that's nice.

I'll probably be tearing my hair out by the end of next week, trying to find ways to get him out of the house grin

rockinghorseShit Fri 26-Jun-15 17:00:23

in the may half term, my eldest DD (14) went away with her grandma on a cruise.
we went away in our caravan with ds(10) and DD (2) and it was nice and quiet grin and not as crowded!

we did miss her though wink

Lurleene Fri 26-Jun-15 17:02:17

Not at all, it's a novelty and you are enjoying it. I expect she is enjoying being away too!

ouryve Fri 26-Jun-15 17:11:52


I have an 11yo and a 9yo and life is much more enjoyable with either of them on their own than with both together. It doesn't help that they're constantly goading each other. We've got to the point where I take DS1 out all day on Saturday while DH potters around with DS2.

Dancergirl Fri 26-Jun-15 17:19:34

Oh dear that's hard our Have they always been like that? Bet they'll get on better when they get older.

Panicmode1 Fri 26-Jun-15 17:22:54

My eldest (Year 6) has been on a residential trip this week and DH has been at a conference all we've been a family of 4 rather than 6. I've enjoyed not having so much washing, but have missed them both terribly - it has felt very empty all week!

BullshitS70 Fri 26-Jun-15 17:25:31

I think of it as it being like 'A Squash and a Squeeze'. The house seems massive and organised and calm when one or more kids is away, its lovely.

I think I need to borrow lots of kids for a weekend, entertain them, feed them, stop quarrels, and all that goes with having kids - and then when they all go home on sunday evening, it becomes clear that I was complaining about nothing.

ScrambledEggAndToast Fri 26-Jun-15 18:04:44

My only child is away this weekend, it's very strange. I'm literally all alone ��

Dancergirl Fri 26-Jun-15 18:13:46

What are you going to do with your weekend scrambled?

Sickofthesnow Fri 26-Jun-15 18:16:04

YANBU. I live in a house with 6 (3 DC & 3 SDC) and when one is away, the dynamic changes completely.

That said, I remember posting something on my Twitter about looking forward to the girls going for a camp holiday and a learning assistant who was a friends relative, commented and said that she thought it was sad that I wanted away from my kids. Hmmm, no I didn't actually SAY that.

I think a little break children parent wise is great for building their independence and confidence.

IHateStampysVoice Fri 26-Jun-15 18:20:05

YANBU I always find it rather lovely and calm with just one child. It doesn't matter which one it is, and I always miss the other but nonetheless I find them together tough most of the time.

Being a parent to one child is so much easier. (Unless they are going through a particularly difficult stage!)

WiseKneeHair Fri 26-Jun-15 18:23:02

I agree. I have 3DC and it can be wearying trying to do something with all three. However, any combination of two of them seems to work well and the odd occasion I get one one on one time is lovely.

Momagain1 Fri 26-Jun-15 18:26:33

Youngest DD is more like DH and I: quiet, introverted, non-confrontational. Oldest DD is loud. She walks loud, she talks loud, she is a people and attention magnet and oh my gosh she will argue with a fly on the wall!
When oldest was a teen, she would go away with youth group once weekend a month. The house was so calm, and quiet. If we went out, we enjoyed ourselves quietly, without attracting any glares or tuts directed at DD. even all these years later, that such a tiny woman (barely 5'3") can take up so much room in a room astounds me.

NKfell Fri 26-Jun-15 18:28:14

YANBU I like spending time just with 6 yr old boy and I like spending time just with 2 yr old girl...and I like spending time alone with neither!

MirandaWest Fri 26-Jun-15 18:45:03

I find it odd when just one of DS or DD isn't here. I'm used to them both staying with XH but when there's just one of them here (DS going to a sleepover tonight) it feels a bit wrong. He's away next week on a school residential trip and I will feel very confused I think. Probably doesn't help that he's nearly at the end of primary school and I'm on the cusp of being emotional...

kesstrel Fri 26-Jun-15 18:57:09

I think it's actually good for children to occasionally have one-to-one time with a parent, if at all possible.

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