Theft in school

[wannabestressfree]

Not going to name change for this.

I work in a lovely school and have a job I love. My health is not that great and they are very supportive.
We have had a spat of theft within the school targeted at staff. Think phones, cash, bank cards etc. We know who it is and they have been banned from the premises (they were leaving anyway as 16)
Unfortunately my card went two weeks ago and the fraud department of my bank are dealing with it and my account was obliterated. I was then poorly and didn't really notice (stupid I know) so have only just waded through the stuff from the bank.
Unfortunately it means until the bank has resolved the issue (which can take time) the funds that were there are no longer and as a result a large payment for something (tickets) can't go from my account which I was supposed to be attending with my friends at school and it's sold out.
So my Aibu is...... I think I should replace the tickets by using an agency (which will cost 4x more) as I am frightened to let them down and my partner thinks I am nuts and should just tell the truth.
It's a nightmare and I am properly poorly (have a tumour) and the stress of this is not helping. Can I have wise words please? I have emailed the head to say what's happened but not sure what else I can do...,,

[MrsNextDoor]

Why are you frightened?? You don't need to be. If you want to go, then pay the extra but NOT ifyou're only doing it to keep them happy.

[wannabestressfree]

Ok maybe frightened is the wrong word. I am a people pleaser and feel bad about letting them down. I have looked at every way possible to recoup enough to go but I literally cannot afford it- especially in light of no available funds!

[anotherdayanothersquabble]

Your friends will understand that you have been robbed. The stress of paying 4 times as much as you would have done, isn't worth it, unless you really want to go and can afford it. I hope the police as involved and the school is providing as much help as they can to prove this person is guilty. Not sure you will get your money back but hope they don't get away with it.

[formerbabe]

I'm also a people pleaser op! But dont leave yourself out of pocket... Just tell them honestly what happened. Do they know you're ill? I'd be so upset if I discovered a friend was stressing themselves out so much over something quite trivial especially if they were unwell...I'd much rather they told me the truth instead of getting themselves upset.

[wannabestressfree]

No I really can't. I would need about 150-200 a ticket to replace and there is a big group of us going. If it was only a couple I could do it.
I am just going to have to bite the bullet and tell them.

[wannabestressfree]

They do know that I am ill just not to what extent. I haven't even told my partner what has happened as he is always telling me to stop being the one to organise days/ nights out. I am just so upset about it.

[paulapompom]

Please just tell them what's happened, these things were beyond your control. You didn't want to be robbed, you can't help being Ill. Give them the choice of all paying more tobuy tickets from the agents, or askfor ssuggestions of other outings. I bet none of your colleagues would want you upset and stressed like thisover one eevening out x

[wannabestressfree]

I don't think I have a choice. The thing is I regularly get tickets for people for things- I have contacts (sounds a lot better than it is) and my partner hates me doing it. He thinks people just use me. He is probably right.
I have just told him and he is furious with me :(

[paulapompom]

He's probably a bit furious on your behalf too, and frustrated if he thinks sometimes people use you/take advantage. Honestly you sound a lovely person, and if I was one of your colleagues I would be horrified to think of your so stressed and upset. It's just one evening, they may be a bit disappointed but it really isn't your fault. You could confide in your closest/most understanding work friend and together let others know what's happened.

[paulapompom]

[wannabestressfree]

Thank you so much Paula. He is cross i didn't tell him. The problem is I always do this. If people need a hand I am first to offer, people need tickets I buy them and then people change their minds. I regularly get used and do nothing. It's a real fault of mine.
And now I have a tumour in my stomach wall and was in hospital all day yesterday and off most of the last two weeks through exhaustion and this is all I am worried about. And he is worried about both :(

[paulapompom]

Wannabe I can only imagine what you are both going through. People pleasers are often worriers - I'm guilty on both counts - but try not to think worst case scenario. Many tumors are benign, and even if not treatment is available. If I may stick my twopeneth further in, would you consider letting people at work know what's going on? You know what would be best, but it might help. Pm me if you want to/if I can help. Wishing you well x

[scarlets]

You sound lovely. I'd go to a concert with you, and not just for the cheap deals.

Tell them. They'll be fine.