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AIBU?

To think This is unsafe parenting?

62 replies

LondonLady29 · 12/06/2015 10:13

On the tube. A toddler approx 18 months at a guess is in a pushchair with his mum stood behind him. The toddler is sucking and chewing on a plastic bottle lid. I immediately thought that he could choke on it. The mum doesn't seem to notice/ care. I wondered if she had realised what he was doing. Toddler then drops lid on the tube floor and it bounces over to my feet. I thought "Well it's a plastic bottle lid and now it's been on the floor of a tube carriage where millions of people and some dogs walk everyday she won't want it now." Also as a toddler had been chewing on it I felt no inclination to pick it up or touch it. A woman next to me bent down and picked it up and handed it straight back to the mum who gave me a dirty look as I had not picked it up, then (there was not even so much as a wipe not that that would help) gave it back to the toddler to suck/ chew. This happened twice in three or four minutes whilst I was standing there. AIBU to think this is slack/ careless/ dangerous parenting? Surely not safe for a young child to suck a bottle lid especially when on and off the tube floor? AIBU not to have been retrieving the lid for the child?

OP posts:

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SumThucker · 12/06/2015 10:16

I think the only danger is the choking issue. A bit of grubby grimy dirt won't kill them, not that I'd entertain the idea of just sticking it back in my baby's mouth.

paulapompom · 12/06/2015 10:21

YaNbu imo, children will chew on anything, but choking is a real hazard. You were right. Did you think of telling her why you didn't hand it back?

The5DayChicken · 12/06/2015 10:21

I think you're being quite precious actually.

AuntyMag10 · 12/06/2015 10:23

You know what, it's her child. If she feels it's fine or not concerned about choking or whatever, it's really her business.

LondonLady29 · 12/06/2015 10:40

Really? To pick wet bits of plastic off the floor of the London Underground and put it straight in you're baby's mouth? We're not talking your own home here. Think about what's on the floor! I know there's an argument for allowing children to come into contact with a bit of dirt etc (and obviously this will happen on a daily basis) but the floor of the tube surely is a bit too dirty for this?

I did feel like saying something but didn't know if I was BU and also being on a busy train felt uncomfortable piping up. I was genuinely shocked that she wanted it back, that's why I didn't pick it up because I thought she wouldn't want it. Would any of you let your child chew that in those circumstances?

OP posts:

SumThucker · 12/06/2015 10:44

I wouldn't, but I also wouldn't break out in a sweat if someone else had placed it in.

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 12/06/2015 10:45

YABU, none of your damn business!!

Stealthpolarbear · 12/06/2015 10:46

I can't believe these replies, non judgey central.
Op yanbu to think letting a small child chew on a bottle lid is a choking hazard

coconutpie · 12/06/2015 10:47

YANBU. I wouldn't pick up something that fell on the tube floor and put it in my mouth so you can be damn sure I wouldn't want my child putting it in their mouth. Gross.

Birdsgottafly · 12/06/2015 10:49

Let the toddler out of the pram and they usually lick every possible surface, (and other people if you'd let them). There's very little "dangerous" bacteria around, were you'd imagine it to be.

Mums generally know what their children can and cant do.

I was always "reminded" that they were climbing the stairs on the bus, but mine could dangle off anything, at any height, under any circumstance.

Bellebella · 12/06/2015 10:49

I wouldn't have handed it back. My son actually did start chocking at a relative's house on a large drink's cap. I did not even know he got hold of it until he started chocking and then threw up on me. Luckily I quickly managed to get it out but it was scary. It can happen and it only takes seconds.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 12/06/2015 10:50

I wouldn't do it but I would be very hesitant to tell someone else not to.

Birdsgottafly · 12/06/2015 10:50

Just to add, I wouldn't allow it, but I can understand someone else doing so.

Branleuse · 12/06/2015 10:51

I wouldnt even waste any time thinking about it. I wouldnt do it, but it doesnt sound like a big deal

MissHavishamDreams · 12/06/2015 10:52

Disgusting. God knows what was on the floor, piss, crap, drugs residue, rat droppings. Plus choking risk. Hideous skanky cow of a mother. Wouldn't like to see her own home with these standards. Poor kid.

DurhamDurham · 12/06/2015 10:54

Aunty Do you really think it's no-one else's business if a mother isn't concerned about her child choking on a bottle cap. So where would you draw the line?

Op YANBU to have been concerned, it is unsafe parenting. Who lets a toddler chew on such an obvious choking hazard.

FrenchJunebug · 12/06/2015 10:56

Children put worse things in their mouth! It isn't unsafe parenting and YABVU.

AuntyMag10 · 12/06/2015 11:02

Durham I really would not imagine myself telling someone that and them being appreciative of my educating them how to parent. What would you say to this woman?

plinkyplonks · 12/06/2015 11:03

Eww, YANBU. That's pretty rank and awful. And yes, it is a choking hazard.

Can't believe that showing safety concerns about another human being can be described as precious :/

PuntasticUsername · 12/06/2015 11:07

It's a bit grim, yes, but I think back to all the days when I was so tired and depressed with small children that I could very easily have been the mother you describe. As such, I just can't bring myself to judge. He wasn't actually coming to any harm, was he?

DurhamDurham · 12/06/2015 11:09

That wasn't the questions that the Op asked.

She asked if she was unreasonable to think it was unsafe. She was not.

She asked if she was unreasonable to not retrieve it from the floor. She was not.

LondonLady29 · 12/06/2015 11:09

I think it's unfair to say it's none of my business when I didn't do anything or say anything to the mother, I just wanted to get a barometer of what others find OK. This wasn't a case of judging or forming an opinion on someone, it was a gut instinct "please don't do that, it's dangerous!" response, so I wanted to see if I was overreacting or if it's something that other mothers would happily do with their own children. An interesting point raised by PP "I wouldn't put it in my own mouth" strikes a chord with me.

It's the kind of thing where I would say something to a friend but you can't to a stranger in case something escalates. I still stand by my gut instinct that 1) giving a toddler a plastic bottle cap to chew on is 100% dangerous; and 2) allowing a toddler to chew on something which has been on the tube floor is dangerous. I understand toddlers lick and chew everything, but I think if your toddler was licking the tube floor you would discourage it, wouldn't you?

OP posts:

Stealthpolarbear · 12/06/2015 11:10

Do people genuinely not see lids as a huge choking hazard?
Maybe I'm being paranoid. I thought they were as dangerous as grapes!!

PuntasticUsername · 12/06/2015 11:11

Ok, so is this going to be one of those "AIBU?" "YABU". "NO I'M JOLLY WELL NOT" threads?

AuntyMag10 · 12/06/2015 11:15

I fully agree with you that it possibly could be a choking hazard and it was disgusting to give the cap back to the baby after it fell. My point is in these situations it isn't appreciated at all when its pointed out to the parent no matter how nicely it's said.

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