AIBU or just looking for picks/problems!

[cattygirl1]

I wrote on here previously about my H who uses Cannabis daily, now this has been really bothering me more and more but I find myself getting very resentful.

I don't like it being in the house and I have asked him to stop which he hasn't, anyway that aside, the things that bother me are the fact he does next to nothing around the house. I feel I am constantly picking up after him, cleaning, shopping etc and I am knackered as well as holding down a hard going job.

And to top it off I resent the fact that everytime he has a joint which can be up to 8 times a day/night, he takes himself off to the garden and sits down to relax with it. Its driving me insane!! Where is my time out or escape? I don't have one.

But I don't know if im just being picky because he wont give up the drugs?

[CalleighDoodle]

Dear god do you really need to be told again to ltb?!

[PHANTOMnamechanger]

so why are you still with him, does he have ANY good points? he wont listen to your views on the drugs and is bone idle.

[cattygirl1]

I know, but he does have good points, countless people have said to leave but I have never had any other relationship and to be honest it frightens me to think about things without him, he has me most probably reliant on him in a strange kind of way? If that even makes sense?

He does work now, although only recently, good with DC and loya, those are his good points.

I cant help thinking it is me who is being picky!

[cattygirl1]

Thanks I know, this is my only outlet so that's why I post so much.

I will maybe ask for it to be removed though.

[PHANTOMnamechanger]

your self esteem must be through the floor if you'd put up with anything & everything rather than face not being in a relationship.

Sweetheart, I dont know how old you are but are you ready to spend the rest of your life with this jerk, who treats you like a skivvy? do you have DC with him? he's hardly a great role model!

[ImprobableBee]

Please LTB.

IME, substance abuse and gaslighting (which I assume he is doing, as you are obviously not being 'picky', I think this is something you've heard from him) only escalate. If I am wrong, I apologise for making a horrible assumption, but in case I might be on the right lines, it's domestic abuse.

You might feel like he is your world right now, but I promise if you can get away, it will feel difficult for a while, but ultimately you'll have a much happier time.

[whois]

Ok OP you need some real life hand holding from a friend to help you here. Please find enough self esteem to leave him and set up a better life for yourself. Please don't stay with a baby in this situation.

[cattygirl1]

I am 36, we have 1 DC and I am in a very strong position work wise, im not sure how I have become so weak relationship wise.

I think I have just accepted the whole thing and now I have realised it is eating me up, possibly been growing resentment gradually and that's why I feel it has crept on me?

I find myself watching other couples and it just isn't like our relationship. I saw a couple at the weekend so relaxed and laughing together and I thought how lovely that looked.

[PHANTOMnamechanger]

OP, sometimes when you are on the inside of a relationship, you can't see how poisonous it is. You want it to work, you keep hoping it is a phase and things will get better. Others looking in can see how bad it is. Thats why you shoudl try and look in from outside and see how you would feel if this was a friend of yours posting the thread, how would you feel about your lovely friend being treated so badly?
You have tried. You have given him chances to sort himself out. Now its time to put all the crap behind you and start the next, brighter chapter in YOUR life, because you deserve it. That you are in a good positon workwise will make things easier.

[cattygirl1]

Thank you, I have given advice to a friend who has an alcohol dependant partner, and whilst telling her, I knew myself I was subconsciously speaking to myself at the same time.

It is so strange, to everyone else on the outside I am one of the strongest person you can meet but when it comes to this I am at a loss!!

I know it is not normal or good, but each time the times roll, the bad times seems to be forgotten about, until the next time.

Very difficult to escape the frame of mind x