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To expect more from DP, bit of a rant

(5 Posts)
SleepyAlpaca Sat 06-Jun-15 22:16:55

DP and I have one DS, aged 7 months.
I am still on maternity leave whilst he is working full time in surrey and we live in north London. To avoid traffic he leaves for work at 6 am and often leaves late, getting in at 7 or 8. As a result I do all the "night shifts" (DS EBF for 6 months and still up 3-4 times oveernight for food) and he barely sees DS except at the weekend. We've been trying some sleep training where I aim not feed between at least midnight and 5 as I am going back to work in 8 weeks and so need to start getting some sleep. Last week at a friends I fell down the stairs and hurt my back- got checked out and no broken ribs but still excruciating and difficult to get out of bed. Therefore I asked him last night to sort out DS when he cries overnight. He grudging said yes, but at 3 am after 2 hours of crying on and off, multiple trips to put dummy back in etc (not unusual and he doesn't often even wake up) DP says to me "just f***** feed him, I want to sleep!"
I did and he continued to cry for 2 hours as there was obviously something else going On ( suspect those pesky teeth- calpol, nurofen, teething gel all deployed to minimal success). End result no one had any sleep.
This morning I take DS until 10, allowing DP to watch rubbish on TV. At 10 I ask for some help as we have friends over and he has a hissy fit, complaining about how tired he is and how he can't possibly see anyone as he is so tired. I feel like a lone parent so much of the time, and I know he's working hard but he seems to have no appreciation of what my life is like with a small demanding infant who won't let me put him down for more than then minutes at a time and only naps for 20 minutes at a time.
AIBU?

Turquoisetamborine Sat 06-Jun-15 22:24:08

No not at all. Mine is the same. He sleeps in another room when he has work the next day so I'm solely dealing with a six week old as well as other son during the day and getting up and ready for the school run.
I insist he helps on non work nights but I have to prompt him to do anything so it really isn't any help. He doesn't wind him properly, puts nappies on so that they leak causing more work long term for me.
I'll be amazed if we are still together in six months if he doesn't change.

SleepyAlpaca Sat 06-Jun-15 22:30:41

I've had similar thoughts, but don't want to admit it. Do they really not have any idea? Don't know how to go about improving the situation without upsetting him- he thinks he's getting the raw deal with working so hard!

Griphook Sat 06-Jun-15 22:40:02

Invest in two jawbones and let the app tell you who is the most tired! I wish I had.
Honesty yanbu, but if this is his attitude he's going to have a massive shock when you go back to work an she's doing 50/50 of everyyhing

viva100 Sat 06-Jun-15 22:53:45

YANBU. Sometimes I can't really believe how awful some of the husbands on mumsnet are....I sometimes look at my future DH (currently playing his PS4) and wonder if he's gonna turn into an inconsiderate selfish twat too when we have kids...
here's some wine and some cake. Wish I could say anything to help, you sound exhausted and deserve some rest.

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