To find my 5 year old really really irritating?

[Wideeyedcarrrot]

Ds was a difficult baby and toddler, didnt enjoy age 0-2 very much. 3 was ok and 4 was great, this last year has been great too but now at nearly 6 he's driving me up the wall.

He's unbelievably stroppy. I have to ask him over and over again to do something and I often get rude or disparaging remark. Took him to a fete today, he went on the playground, the inflatable slide, had an ice cream, played on some games, watched a puppet show and he still moaned he was 'bored'
He is relentlessly demanding and has started to make sarcastic comments under his breath that I can't quite hear but then says 'nothing' if I ask him what he's said.
Generally he's being a pain in the neck. He's also started doing this really loud fake laugh all the time.

This morning we met my aunt at the fete, we drove past her as she arrived desperately. Traffic was heavy and ds had the window down shouting 'oh look there's a safari animal (pointing at my aunt) it's done a big poo!' Then doing the stupid loud fake laugh.
I don't know what to do with him because basically his innate personality appears to be obnoxious. I try and reward the positive and sanction the poor behaviour but I feel like I'm on at him all the time. He seems to have no normal appreciation of boundaries between himself and anyone else.

It's not out of control violent behaviour or anything, it's obnoxious, rude behaviour which I'm not sure is better or not? He has a very condescending attitude.
Basically it's really wearing and he's incredibly irritating. At school he is apparently very well behaved. I did speak to his teacher and he's constantly in gold on the zone board, always doing as he is told. So if this is the case I assume it must be me that's the problem.
Sometimes I just look at him and think 'I do not know who you are and I have no understanding as to why you do the things you do.'

Are other 5 going on 6 year olds like this? I'm fairly sure at 5 I did as I was told!

[Wideeyedcarrrot]

My aunt didn't arrive desperately - she arrived separately!

[blondiep14]

My DS1 is similar, he's 7 now and we have spent most of his life (apart from the first 18 months or so) trying to instil how much we value kindness and nice behaviour over him being 'Billy Big Boots' and trying to impose himself on everyone. It's a very tiring battle so I will watch this thread with interest.

I'm sure someone wiser can help!

[TheNoodlesIncident]

Is this the same DS you started a thread about last month, with 284 posts saying in effect, we would strongly recommend he is assessed by developmental paediatricians?

Was lots of good advice and suggestions on that thread, iirc.

[dougierose]

OMG this is my son, especially the obsession with poo. And he's just turned 8.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it won't get any better for a while. I find that treating the boy like a dog helps: fresh air, plenty of exercise, good food and lots of sleep. When he's spent too much time on Minecraft then he is unbearably obnoxious.

If he's fine at school then he's bottling up all that boisterous behaviour and letting off steam at home. My mantra is "It's not how they behave at home but how they behave outside the home that counts."

But what is it with boys and poo?

[BeeMyBaby]

My dd (5) is similar with the fake laugh and being obnoxious sometimes - I used to tell her off and there would be back and forth between us, but I have changed tact and simply say something along the lines of 'that is not acceptable to say' 'that tone is unacceptable' and I don't allow any further discussion on the topic and she moves on in a more polite manner.

[Indantherene]

My youngest boy was the easiest of all our dc but I remember that at 6 he was an absolute PITA. Don't they get a testosterone surge around that age?

[FarFromAnyRoad]

Sure I've read this before or am I going nuts?

[proseccodd]

this sounds like my 5.5 year old
it's incredibly wearing
and hard not to be reacting all the time to bad behaviour and incessant low-mid-high level obnoxiousness, because to not react would appear to condone such conduct
argh

[Coyoacan]

Well I can't really give good advice, my dd seemed to think she was a princess to be waited on hand and foot at that age, yuck!

Would a leaf out of my old mother's book help? She used to quietly whisper to us when we went out that if we didn't behave ourselves she would never take us out again. I never called her bluff on that one.

[Ludoole]

Both my children were irritating at 5! Now they are 12 and 15 and they are the cement that keeps my world together. Things change!

[FastWindow]

I've just come back from babysitting my DSis children (10,8,5) and was aghast at how easy it was compared to my nearly 5 ds.

Am convinced I am bad parent.

Offered to swap all three for my one.