AIBU to ask you all to love me?

[Fatmomma99]

I've just found out that I'm universally not liked in my workplace.

It stems from when I joined the organisation I was tasked with doing something that I'd been shadowing in another job and which the new organisation wanted to bring in, so I was seen as an 'expert' even though I'd only watched in the past.

I couldn't do it completely by myself (as there were presentations to clients, etc) and it meant that new colleagues had to do over and above what they were expecting for a little while (which they did, a little resentfully) and I did do the thing the new organisation wanted.

But the effect of this is that all my new colleagues hate me.

And the only reason I know this is that there's a newer colleague to me and we get on REALLY well, and she asked me why everyone else (including people I've never spoken to) all hate me.

I want to shout "IT'S NOT FAIR: I was TASKED to do this in my first week of work,and knowing NO ONE and I couldn't say 'no' on the grounds that in your first week, when no one knows you, you want to do 'can do' if you are asked"

Perhaps I'm also just horrible? I think I probably am.

Thank you for reading.

[VanitasVanitatum]

Is it possible she is stirring?! That's a bloody weird thing to say to you frankly.

If she's genuine get her to fight your corner for you when anyone complains about you.

[GraysAnalogy]

I don;t understand why she's not explaining the situation to people.

I also don't understand why they can't get it through their thick skulls that these things aren't your fault and it's just how the workplace works.

You're not horrible. And you don't deserve to be disliked.

I'll love you, I'm not a lovable person generally but at a stretch

[esiotrot2015]

Oh I'd turn a blind eye to all the gossip / shit stirring
I've learnt the hard way not to get involved
Go in do your job & go home
Life is so much simpler !

[Fanjango]

Yup you're horrid!! No , seriously it's shit being put in that position. My father was promoted once. Within days his old colleagues went on strike and , as section leader, he was not allowed to be in union any more. Won him loads of mates as he crossed the picket line ??
It does pass. Most of his work mates did forgive him but it takes time to break down the barriers. Good luck. Fwiw you sound lovely

[drbonnieblossman]

Ask your colleagues. Put them on the spot. They'll either be honest and give a valid reason (or not, in which case they'll feel a twat) or they'll squirm, and look an even bigger twat.

[passthewineplz]

I've had a similar experience, I joined a new company and was taken on due to my experience and skills.

I found it really difficult fitting in, and really struggled as there wasn't much support from my manager or the rest of the team. I felt like no one liked me, and subsequently hated going to work as my confidence was knocked every day.

I eventually found out that I wasn't being paranoid. It turned out that my line manager had told the rest of the team my salary and the reason people/my peers were not being helpful ect was due to the fact they were on less wage even though they had experience.

Perhaps it could be something similar, and your colleagues feel threatened or feel it's unfair you've been brought into the company.

Unfortunately office politics can be awful, it really got me down. But in hindsight I've learnt, don't trust anyone, don't talk about anything work related to colleagues, do your job and don't get involved.

If you want to get on in the company, attend all social events after work and kiss your boss's arse!

[Fatmomma99]

Hi

Don't know if any of you will see this, as it's a few days old now.

I'm new to MN, and it came at the same time I found out about the above, and my computer's been down for a few days so I couldn't come back to you.

Thank you all so much for your lovely messages. Esp for my flowers! You're very kind and lovely women.
I'll be fine (I'm tough as old boots, and I've never wanted or relied on work to be my social life). It was just a bit shocking to discover that I was actively disliked and it was a 'thing'. My new friend wasn't sh*t stirring or anything. I think she really likes me and was quite genuinely puzzled and perplexed about why everyone else didn't feel the same way. And since then she's actually done quite a lot when I'm not there to pointedly let people know that she and I are friends. I'd prefer that than her fighting my battles for me.

Really, thank you all for your messages, they're really lovely to read; and hope things get better for you passthewineplz

[Penfold007]

It's not you they dislike it's the role you were hired to fulfil. I bet you are great fun, have a lovely weekend