Mums offer to make sandwiches for DS's party?

[QTPie]

DS's party next weekend.

My mum has very kindly offered to make the sandwiches for the party and bring them along.

Initially I thought "oh good, that will help), but I have two concerns;

• firstly she is a heavy smoker (probably at least 20 a day) and everything that comes out of her house (including us) smells of stake smoke. Am worried this May effect the sandwiches.
  
• secondly, although she seems to be responding well to recent medication changes, she has dreadful IBS. This can make her very unreliable, understandably (awful pain, stuck to the bathroom). So it is not at all beyond the bounds of possibility that she could phone up Sat night/sun morning saying that she can't make it (and I will be in a panic trying to get bread - on a Sunday - and make sandwiches for the noon start of the party....
  

AIBU to decline her very kind offer on the grounds of "thank you very much - very kind offer - but I have already bought the ham and cheese to go in them" (she lives about an hour away - so not close enough to pop round and pick them up...)?

[clary]

I wouldn't bother with sandwiches anyway. Unless you have masses of kids coming.

How old are the children? My experience tells me that you need about one quarter cheese spread white bread sandwich per child.

Much better idea - ask her to bring packets of crisps and party rings - she can't adulterate them with smoke :)

[maddy68]

Just say some of the guests have allergies so you are going to do them as its over complicated

[maddy68]

But ask her to buy a cake so she feels involved

[NotOnMyWatchOhNo]

You can buy bread on a Sunday.

[LadyLuck10]

Yanbu, I would also ask her to bring the chips, sweets or something along those lines which is sealed. Tell her you've got the sanwiches sorted already.

[MrsCakesPrecognition]

Children usually avoid the sandwiches. Let your mum make them, have plenty of alternatives too. If they arrive then fab, if not then it won't be the end of the world.

[Lifesalemon]

Could you just invite her to yours for the morning with the plan that you do the shopping beforehand and that you make the sandwiches together and then if she is unable to come at least you will have all the stuff there ready.

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

You can also make ahead and freeze certain sandwiches - ham, cheese, Marmite, for instance. Might be worth considering.

[derenstar]

Yeah, don't bother with the sandwiches, they always get thrown out.I second telling her you have it covered and ask her to get things in sealed packs.

[PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange]

The sandwich are the first to go at my family parties.

Why not suggest she does the sandwich at your house.

[Vivacia]

Chips?

I agree with either asking her to come 'round to your house to help with the sandwiches, or could she bring packets of X and Y.

[Purplehonesty]

Crisps are chips in the US....

[QTPie]

23 children at the party - some definitely do eat sandwiches (bug have learnt from last year and won't make NEARLY as many!).

I am an ultra organised person and have basically got EVERYTHING apart from the fresh stuff (already got crisps, biscuits, cakes, drinks etcetc).

I think that you are right - invite her here to do it: then, if her IBS does a nasty turn, I have everything here to make them myself anyway. My concern with "bread on a Sunday" would be if I couldn't get into a shop/supermarket before 10am (since I need to be at the venue, setting up, at about 11.30 - all food needs to be prepared at home before we go). Don't want a mad rush...

[bimbobaggins]

I would suggest she makes the sanwiches at your house. My mum is the same . Smokes about 20 per day and everything that comes out of her house is absolutely stinking of smoke.
She smokes in the kitchen when she is cooking the dinner and when i complain she moans about it. She has given me cakes she has made while smoking over them and they taste of smoke. Its disgusting.
You only need to be in the house for half an hour and your clothes are stinking of it.

[QTPie]

Yes, Bimbo, ditto.

Never noticed it growing up (both mum and dad were heavy smokers), but very obvious now... In fact it used to make me retch during pregnancy and that hasn't worn off (5 years later...) :(.

There was the hope that she might have stayed off the cigarettes after having lung cancer (now 4 years clear :) ), but she only stayed off it for 3 months after they removed half of her right lung and some lymph nodes :(

[bimbobaggins]

I agree QTPie! I never noticedd it either growing up but i think that is partly to do with every relative i had smoked so we were never really smoke free to notice what it was like if that makes sense.
Its only when i have grown up and left home that i became more aware of it.

My mother has also had cancer and my sister is a radiotherapist so you would think that would be enough to put her off but no, she says she loves it and its one of her pleasures in life.

[MrsTawdry]

Why would you panic about getting bread? Just buy some...and filling and make them. A platter of simple sandwiches takes 15 minutes! Hardly a strain.

[MrsTawdry]

Vivacia I assume LadyLuck is Aussie or American.

[PesoPenguin]

if she can't make it to yours in the morning, could you give her one type of sandwiches to do and you do another, eg, "oh yes please, you do the ham, I'll do the cheese."

[MomOfTwoGirls2]

Fresh sliced bread freezes really well. Take the bread out of freezer an hour or do before you need it.

[bialystockandbloom]

Yanbu about the worry of her not being able to make them at short notice, but the smoking - seriously? I have smoked and not smoked in my life and as an ex- and non- smoker realise the smell is awful, and stays on clothes etc, but how can it possibly affect the taste of food?! Unless you think she's going to flick ash on the sandwiches?

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

Fresh sliced bread freezes really well. Take the bread out of freezer an hour or do before you need it.

Indeed it does. I did suggest a couple of days ago that you can actually pre-make and freeze sandwiches with certain fillings, but it appears to have gone unnoticed. Make them, freeze them and take them out of the freezer an hour or so before you need them.

[MrsCakesPrecognition]

Butter the bread before it defrosts. It is much easier to spread butter on the hard bread as the bread doesn't tear.