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AIBU to avoid the parties

(13 Posts)
Fragglerock123 Tue 30-Dec-14 21:53:13

Hi all, I'm new and been lurking for a while. You seem to post useful answers rather then fluffy hugs so here goes!
I am 40ish with 2 girls and a husband. While I did my fair share of drinking, partying and dancing in my 20's, my life is a little more sedate and thats the way I like it. Moved to a village a few years ago and gradually became friends with the local mums who are very lovely and supportive. They love to throw parties though, at least once a month , inviting huge numbers of people and their children, to dance, drink and drink a bit more til 3 or 4am. Me and DH are just not into big crowds and getting plastered, especially in front of our children and are more likely to be in bed by 11pm - (not being judgemental, quite happy for everyone else to do what they want) - so would like to make it clear that we dont want to go without offending everyone or making flimsy excuse every time. I do go out with them for the odd meal or drinks in the pub which is great. What would you all say next time the FB event page appears?

woowoo22 Tue 30-Dec-14 22:02:45

Accept the events you want to go to, decline the ones you don't. Keep it simple.

WorraLiberty Tue 30-Dec-14 22:04:33

Errm I'd just tell them it's not my sort of thing?

Purplepoodle Tue 30-Dec-14 22:05:58

I would just go for the early evening and bow out around 10/11

MrsTawdry Tue 30-Dec-14 22:08:03

I'm like you and I just say that I'm working....I work from home though so that's easy. Just keep refusing and they will stop asking and get the picture.

newyearsresolutionsnotforme Tue 30-Dec-14 22:28:37

'Sorry I have plans' - doesn't matter if those plans involve watching GoT on the sofa with a glass of wine or hot chocolate in your PJs. Or go to the part you want and leave early- 'Sounds lovely, were hoping to swing by for a couple that evening' (implies you have plans after and need to leave early).

Sorry, can't make it, hve a great time' - Not interested, not coming.

Fragglerock123 Tue 30-Dec-14 22:35:50

Thanks for replies everyone - reading my post again does make me sound slightly crap! It seems obvious what to say but feel awkward constantly turning down invitations. I get on well with everyone and just feel like I'm the odd one out for not wanting to party party party. I should just keep it simple and say sorry cant make it and not give reason like 'newyearsresolutionsnotforme' said. Does anyone else not do parties?

Nanny0gg Tue 30-Dec-14 22:37:21

Me. Hate them.

theeternalstudent Tue 30-Dec-14 22:44:30

me too. don't mind going out for dinner and a few drinks if I can get a baby sitter but monthly parties like those you describe just sounds like hell to me.

AgentZigzag Tue 30-Dec-14 22:48:16

I would keep giving them the filmsy excuses, then they'll keep inviting you and you can pick whatever stuff you fancy going to.

If you give them a blanket 'I'm not up for getting plastered all night any more' they might take it that you're not up for any of the get togethers they have?

With the 3/4am ones, could you just go along and bow earlier if you like them as a group generally?

GokTwo Tue 30-Dec-14 22:56:08

I feel exactly the same. I love socialising with my friends but I drink very little and hate massive, drunken crowds of people. As others have said just decline those events and attend the others. I've been doing that for years and it hasn't affected my friendships at all.

newyearsresolutionsnotforme Tue 30-Dec-14 22:56:22

Fragglerock123 I do a party every now and again but as you can see from my responses I'm used to saying 'no thanks' smile

Fragglerock123 Tue 30-Dec-14 23:05:12

Hallelujah I am not alone! Besides I dont have to be at the parties, I can enjoy them on FB the next day! I think I'm going to like mumsnet ( have defected from NM - other forums are available!)

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