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To give up and go it alone?

(16 Posts)
QueenOfHearts9 Wed 17-Dec-14 22:56:30

I'm so fed up of being disappointed by men sad All the good ones are taken, and the ones left are either very overweight, very unattractive, players/cheats or afraid of commitment. I don't drink and hate clubs/pubs, I've tried online dating but keep running into the same problems.

I just want an average looking, kind, caring guy that isn't afraid of commitment and wants children.

I'm 24 and found out I have endometriosis, so worried about leaving it too late and waiting around, hoping one day I can meet Mr Right and have a family.

I have been thinking about using a sperm donor. I'm a very maternal person and would be heartbroken if I never had children.

Most of the people I know that have kids are either single parents, or are in an unhappy relationship. Meanwhile, my biological clock is in overdrive and has been for over a decade (Yes, I know). It's making me feel really depressed, angry and defensive. To be honest I'm turning into a bit of a man-hater because of it.

What the hell shall I do? sad

Ringovandingo Wed 17-Dec-14 23:08:34

I've been on my own for nearly three years since my daughter was three months old and can honestly say I've never been more Content and happy

I always felt like I should be with someone until she came along. Not at in jumped from man to man but just a yearning I suppose, I can hand on heart day that I'm 100% happy about being just me and her now and I wouldn't change it!

I've had some lovely relationships some long term and some not as long but nothing compares to being a mum

I don't even know what trying to say really, don't give up on men but you don't need the while package to have a brilliant life with a little one smile

Ringovandingo Wed 17-Dec-14 23:09:48

Can't spell tonight!

Loletta Wed 17-Dec-14 23:25:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fairylightsonthetree Wed 17-Dec-14 23:29:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lessonsintightropes Wed 17-Dec-14 23:30:18

If you are 24 then I really think you're not in a rush. I met my DH when we were both 30 and actually I'm glad we met at that age as we'd grown up and worked out a lot of stuff we both needed to. He is lovely and gorgeous. Don't try to rush it - I remember thinking that my life was over at 28 when I was still single - it really, really wasn't. I focused on work instead and have a great career and had the opportunity to travel and do a whole load of other things. Are you trying to settle down and meet someone because it's something you think you should be doing at this age - or something that youmreally feel like you must (and if it's the latter, the whiff of desperation - not that I am saying your OP sounds like this at all - can put people off). Don't rush it.

Mrsgrumble Wed 17-Dec-14 23:45:28

Don't rush into anything. I love being a mum but I am over 11 yrs older than you and did a lot of living / travelling (saving) too first.

Enjoy your life, you don't in what's around the corner, at 24 I wouldn't worry at all!!

CupidStuntSurvivor Wed 17-Dec-14 23:56:06

I do get some of where your post is coming from. But to be honest, you're writing a large chunk of eligible men off by being superficial. And you're probably not running out of time to start a family. You're only 2 years younger than me and I'm fairly happy in the knowledge that I've probably got a good 15 more fertile years left.

That said, I'm a single mum. It's honestly the most rewarding thing I've ever done. But I wouldn't have chosen to be a single mum...circumstances dictated it. I barely get 30 minutes rest at the end of the day between the baby and the housework.

HellBoundNothingFound Thu 18-Dec-14 09:26:32

I'm with Cupid...you're writing a mass amount of potentials there. Not sure what else to add other than learning to be less superficial and picky

formerbabe Thu 18-Dec-14 09:33:20

Gosh! When I started reading this thread I assumed you were in your forties... In which case I would have said that going it alone was a good idea. But 24!!!
You have so much time ahead of you! There are a lot of frogs out there..but don't stop looking! You are way too young to be giving up on love, a husband and having a baby as a couple!

formerbabe Thu 18-Dec-14 09:38:12

Most of the people I know that have kids are either single parents, or are in an unhappy relationship

Wow...you say this like you're jealous or like it is something to aspire to.

monkeytroubles Thu 18-Dec-14 10:45:08

24 really is very young, you've plenty of time to meet someone and start a family if that's what you want. Of course there's nothing wrong with raising a child by yourself but all the single Mum's I know would tell you that it's very tough at times.
Maybe the problem isn't that there are no decent men out there, maybe you're looking in the wrong places. I know women who have found partners through evening classes, book groups, volunteering, basically anything that gets you out and about and introduces you to people you wouldn't meet otherwise. Have a look on Meetup.com and see if there's anything going on in your area that interests you.

Writerwannabe83 Thu 18-Dec-14 10:50:24

24 is still so young!!!

I didn't meet my DH until I was 26, we married when I was 29 and we had our baby when I was 30.

You have so much time ahead of you!!

Sidge Thu 18-Dec-14 10:54:27

Don't look at men as potential sperm donors or suitors.

Meet them as people in their own right, someone you want to spend time with and maybe something more might develop.

Even with endometriosis 24 is no age at all, honestly. And being a single parent ain't a walk in the park either, trust me...

ScrambledEggAndToast Thu 18-Dec-14 20:44:16

When I first started reading your post I thought you were going to say you were about 40! 24 is so young, please don't write yourself off. A lot of the eligible men are probably off building their careers and having fun right now and will be ready to settle down in 4-5 years time. You have ages to become a mum grin

Purplepoodle Thu 18-Dec-14 23:24:15

Omg you are so young. Have u tried online dating? Three of my friends met their husbands this way. They were all purely people who didn't have large social groups and worked so didn't have a chance to meet new people.

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