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To send this letter? And how do I do it without causing ww3?!

(22 Posts)
Wishfulmakeupping Sat 29-Nov-14 03:11:22

Some of you might remember some of my post about my Nd neighbour before.
Basically moved into this house a year ago, we had a seemingly nice elderly lady next door.
Problems with her almost straight away she was leaving notes of our visitors cars for parking too close to a verge in front of our houses (they weren't buy to keep peace we told people not to do it again), she has sent the police to our house twice complaining that our car is parked illegally (it isn't the police confirmed this twice!).
We have tried to sort things out but I can't even speak to the woman now she drives me insane. I'm fed up sad
We've had a problem with noise from her house since we moved in- her dog barks throughout the day she often goes out and locks it in the front room and he barks whenever anyone walks past (so a lot!).
I've not said anything because I've just put up with it for the sake of some sort of peace but recently the ndn has been having her tv on all night quite loud in her bedroom which backs onto my dd (22 months) room its waking her up I'm sure she's up and down all night and I'm hear now trying to settle her And the noise is noticeable- its 3am sad
I'm going to have to put a letter through and possible speak to the environment health noise people aren't I?
Just don't want more aggro before Xmas but my child (and I!) need to sleep

MokunMokun Sat 29-Nov-14 03:18:17

Do you think she's doing it on purpose to get back at you? I mean putting the TV on loud in that room and sleeping somewhere else?

Bulbasaur Sat 29-Nov-14 03:18:27

Don't send any letter to her, that will only escalate the situation. It might also flirt the line with harassment if you're writing letters and filing reports. Just called the non-emergency line and let them handle it. That's what they're there for.

Disengaged and let the law handle it. Also, start keeping a log of what she does and document all the incidents in case this escalates.

Wishfulmakeupping Sat 29-Nov-14 03:29:29

I don't know mokun I'm hoping its more thoughtless than spiteful especially as she knows its my baby's room.
Think the log is a good idea bulba I should have done that before now really but at least I can start from now

MrsBigginsPieShop Sat 29-Nov-14 06:51:45

One part of me says start writing it all down...
The other part says go and knock on her door, speak to her, show goodwill and friendship and try to resolve it. There may be a reason why a lonely, older person keeps causing problems eg lack of contact with anyone, loneliness etc.
Good luck and sorry your baby isn't sleeping - that really is a killer

Wishfulmakeupping Sat 29-Nov-14 08:37:54

Thanks Mrs I think if she were quite lonely that may explain some her behaviour but she's lived in the area for years and has a few friends I think.
I think it could well antagonise her. When we have spoken to her in the past about her notes she has notched it up a level sad

MokunMokun Sat 29-Nov-14 10:07:52

I just mention it because I once did that during my university years. I had a real dickhead living next door to me who used to make so much noise. One day I got sick of it and turned the TV to face his wall and cranked up the volume. blush

I would say don't contact her directly and just report it. Try and go through some kind of community support officer.

addictedtobass Sat 29-Nov-14 10:44:09

She may be lonely and looking for attention or she may just be a nasty bitch, being old doesn't stop her any the less that.

Whatever way you really don't want to engage in notes OP, if she is lonely and attention seeking then she'll feed on it and keep it up. In fact if she's being nasty then she'll do exactly the same because she'll know it's bothering you.

You need to speak to log it and contact your antisocial behaviour department at the council for advice.

quietbatperson Sat 29-Nov-14 11:26:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

addictedtobass Sat 29-Nov-14 11:29:07

The dog barking, if it's a lot, is also reportable to EH. Just as different complaints about the same individual.

addictedtobass Sat 29-Nov-14 11:29:39

That was to the OP, in case she's not sure whether it counts.

quietbatperson Sat 29-Nov-14 11:33:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

homebythesea Sat 29-Nov-14 11:34:40

I would encourage you to get in touch with your local community mediation service if you have one before getting police/lawyers etc involved. These are neutral trained mediators who speak to both parties individually (if willing if course!) then try to get them to reach an agreement going forwards

Mustangspirit Sat 29-Nov-14 11:41:16

Maybe she is keeping her TV on so she can't hear your baby in the night? I sometimes go to sleep with mine on as it's easier to sleep through the TV noise than the horrendous snoring coming from the next room. So it could be that she hasn't actually realised that it's loud enough for you to hear?
Although I guess it must be pretty loud to waking your dd. I'm sure you have TV on and make noise once she is down for the night. It's a fact of life that children have to learn to sleep through a certain degree of noise by the nature of earlier bed times etc.
If I was you I would pop round with a Christmas card and ask her in passing if she has been having trouble sleeping as you have noticed her TV on into the small hours. You should be able to tell by her response i.e if she desists with the volume, whether you need to take further steps. If so record all instances and call 111.

addictedtobass Sat 29-Nov-14 12:01:07

OP has said that when the OP asked about the notes on cars her neighbour started playing up a lot more. That doesn't sound like someone who'd be open to friendly relations.

Nanny0gg Sat 29-Nov-14 12:47:52

Could there be a medical issue? How old is she?

Wishfulmakeupping Sat 29-Nov-14 13:21:10

Thanks for responses, I would say she's in her 70's?
She's still out and about a lot still driving etc.
I was ready to call the anti social team this morn but haven't so far as last time we were advised that if we complained about anti social beh from her we would need to declare a dispute when we sell the house. We are looming to move within the next 2-3 years but it could be next year so I wouldn't want to struggle selling because of it but at the same time this isn't going to work. If she is having the tv on to stop the noise from dd its a vicious circle because that's one if the reasons she is being disturbed sad

It was last Xmas when all the trouble started and can see the same happening again if I don't get this resolved

addictedtobass Sat 29-Nov-14 13:24:11

You would need to declare OP, if she is still living there when you move.You have to weigh up what's worse, I'm afraid, can you hack it and possibly more?

LoveVintage Sat 29-Nov-14 13:32:03

Why not turn up at her door with some cakes and ask to come in, suit sown with her and perfectly pleasantly raise your 'respective issues' with a view to moving forward.

Do all you can to be the reasonable neighbour, you never know it might resolve, if not either grit teeth and hope she finds somwthing else to focus on, or go through proper channels if you really have no choice. Good luck, neighbour disputes are horribly unpleasant.

muddylettuce Sat 29-Nov-14 14:21:31

I get this often at work (police). Noise isn't a police issue btw but they can help mediate with neighbours. I would first try and talk to her, be reasonable and adult, if she can't be that back, walk away. Next call environmental health, they will probably tell you to keep a diary and send someone to take readings of noise levels. This will obviously be disruptive to dc. Also, thanks to cut backs most environmental health departments now only open at weekends during what they deem to be unsociable hours 2100-0300 usually. Bit of a pain really. Anyhoo, if she really is uncooperative and you have any sort of retaliation after this call 101. Most neighbourhood teams are pretty hot on neighbour disputes due to high profile cases gone wrong. Some people will listen to the police as a voice of reason, she doesn't seem to though if she has previously been told cars parked ok but called again!

mummymeister Sat 29-Nov-14 15:29:35

at the point where you get mediation, environmental health or the police neighbourhood team involved you will have to declare it on your disclosure of info for your house move. you have 3 choices: put up with it until you move, report it to someone external and deal with the consequences when you try and sell or retaliate. None of these options are easy. it is just down to you to decide what is the most important at this stage in your life. personally, I would go round there and try and sit down with her and talk it through. ask her to put her tv on them come into your LO's bedroom and hear how loud it is. I would do everything I could to resolve it with her one to one. however, she may just be a nasty old cow in which case you need to do one of the above.

CatLady25 Sat 29-Nov-14 15:44:36

Ah how irritating i had someone leave a note on my car recently, wtf these people think they own public roads!
Send her a letter be as polite as possible and if nothing changes then call EH
She sounds so annoying ny god

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