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To go into new job and say I can't work Christmas day.

(181 Posts)
Altinkum Fri 28-Nov-14 07:01:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HolgerDanske Fri 28-Nov-14 07:03:43

Uhm, I don't think you need to reimburse your family...

Sorry, but I just don't. So they'll be miffed, well too bad.

You can't just say you won't work.

hesterton Fri 28-Nov-14 07:04:15

Your guests sound utterly charmless. Reimburse them?! How about they come anyway and do the cooking so when uour shift finishes there's a hot meal waiting for you.

SocialButterfly Fri 28-Nov-14 07:05:58

I think your visitors are being unreasonable, they can still come, you haven't cancelled. I'd say I'm very sorry but we want to see you and I presume you want to see us so come and I'll be eorkin for a few hours but we'll make the best of it. If they refused I'd wonder what their real reason was for coming. What a bunch of meanies!

GretaGip Fri 28-Nov-14 07:06:15

I think in a new job yiu really possibly should be being accommodating.

If there's 17 others there, surely they can muck in for the few hours you're absent?

Humansatnav Fri 28-Nov-14 07:08:38

What type of job is it ? Hospitality? Care work?

TrendStopper Fri 28-Nov-14 07:09:00

I am with your guests on this one. I wouldn't want to pay out that kind of money to visit someone for a special day & not see them for some of it.

NorwaySpruce Fri 28-Nov-14 07:09:07

Your guests are behaving dreadfully shock

In any reasonable family, they'd feel bad that you had to work Christmas Day, so would pitch in to gee your children up, and help out.

What they are doing sounds extraordinary. Do they think you are a hotel/guesthouse?!

Go to work, explain the bigger picture to your child, and hope he grows up to be a better person that his relatives.

Doyouthinktheysaurus Fri 28-Nov-14 07:09:46

Tbh, I'd tell my relatives where to go! It's not like you are choosing to work rather than be with them!

I wouldn't want to spend the day with people who were so inflexible and inconsiderate.

Plus, they may withdraw the job offer if you can't commit to the rota given to you. It doesn't exactly show much commitment.

Asleeponasunbeam Fri 28-Nov-14 07:10:03

Your family are behaving appallingly! 'Kicking off' because you have to work! They ought to be thinking about how they can help make it all work out well for you and your DC. Selfish buggers!

Choccybaby Fri 28-Nov-14 07:10:14

YANBU to nicely ask your boss if it's possible to have Christmas day off and explain the situation, but she'll probably say no and this early in a job personally I wouldn't push it.

Your visitors asking you to reimburse them are being ridiculous

VivaLeBeaver Fri 28-Nov-14 07:10:15

I agree. Your guests need to roll their sleeves up and help. You can pre prepare as much as possible the night before. Mleave them instructions.

I feel sorry for your ds, I often have to work Xmas day. But he will have to suck it up.

I know you can't do it this year but remember for next incase you work it again- Father Christmas comes a day early to the children of parents who need to work on Xmas day. We've often just moved the whole day forward.

PureMorning Fri 28-Nov-14 07:10:32

17 People can cook the dinner and stop being dramatic.

Ds is 8 and needs a goid talking to. No its not great to work on Christmas but it as just on of those things. Their lives not be ruined because of a this.

Tell them all to grow up

Doyouthinktheysaurus Fri 28-Nov-14 07:10:50

Children adjust to parents working Christmas. I work most years, my children don't care much! We adjust our day around my working hours, it's really not a big deal.

CakeAndWineAreAFoodGroup Fri 28-Nov-14 07:11:14

You'll probably find they say you can have Christmas Day off. And Boxing Day, New Year's Day and hold on, every single day of the year.

As in don't come back at all.

You have committed to working Christmas Day so you have to work Christmas Day!

I suspect hand of dh in your son's letter to Santa. It's a few hours, you go to work, they stay in your house and play games, talk to each other until you get home. Then you do presents and Christmas dinner etc.

You create new traditions because of work commitments!

You also do not need to reimburse family!

fairylightsintheloft Fri 28-Nov-14 07:11:16

how the hell can it be the case that no other person in the 18 can hold the fort for a few hours? They are being utterly ridiculous and U. It is normal in a new job that you tell them of any existing holiday dates etc when you start and depending on the job / manager you COULD try saying that at this notice its difficult to work xmas but you could do Boxing Day or NEw Year or something. Could you not have shielded your son from the fallout? How does he know they are mad at you?

Andrewofgg Fri 28-Nov-14 07:12:05

Are you serious?

You took a job in a line of work which involves CD working. You must have made these plans before you took the job.

And then you expect others at your work to accommodate you, the newcomer? If you could not work CD 2014 you should have said so at interview and taken your chance on not getting the job. If I had been the employer you probably would have lost out on getting the job, because you are obviously not prepared to take the rough with the smooth. And if you decided you could not do it I would show you the door.

Of course if you work CD this year you should not be expected to work it next year. If you last that long.

rollonthesummer Fri 28-Nov-14 07:12:28

Your relatives sound awful and extremely petulant. What job is it? I think you'll mark your card there tbh if you refuse to work Christmas day.

BlairWaldorfHeadBand Fri 28-Nov-14 07:12:42

I really feel for you, sounds like a tough situation.
Have a word with work and explain that you already have family traveling for Christmas etc and see if anything can be done such as you working Christmas Eve and Boxing Day and New Years but Christmas Day itself off, would that help?

NorwaySpruce Fri 28-Nov-14 07:12:50

You really need to be careful if you want to keep your job too, as you've been there under two years, they can just decide to sack you.

Will your relatives keep you in money then? What with the great Christmas Day sacrifice and all..?

Fanfeckintastic Fri 28-Nov-14 07:13:31

Your guests sound vile, I would uninvite the ones who have made threats regardless. As for your son, show him what a good work ethic you have, it's only for a few hours.

rollonthesummer Fri 28-Nov-14 07:15:11

My sister and her DH work in a hospital and always do Xmas shifts. We-the family-step in and make sure their kids have a fab time. We don't moan about wanting our money back! I doubt their kids think twice about it. I can't actually believe you've been moaning to your son about it!

MaryWestmacott Fri 28-Nov-14 07:15:32

Your family are being dicks, can you suggest to mil if you aren't there to cook, you're DP will be able to so she can still spend Christmas Day with her ds and dgs. If you can't work Christmas Day, that's something you should have said at job offer stage, bit late when you've started.

I suggest you talk to your boss and say that you could only do specific shift, like first thing or the evening (most people don't want that one as they can't drink on Christmas Day, even if it means you'll get the bulk of the day at home). Or offer to work over nye/early shift New Year's Day? If you have youn colleagues, they might rather miss a chunk of Christmas Day if it means they can go on the lash on nye.

But just refusing now without trying to find a solution looks like you will be a difficult employee, you are still in your probationary period, find solutions.

Lonecatwithkitten Fri 28-Nov-14 07:15:45

I think you need to sit down with your DS and talk about why you have to work on Christmas Day either sharing the lad with colleagues or emergency care can't let people down. He is old enough to understand this.
As for your relatives speechless.
I work every other Christmas in a 24/ 7 service on call my DD gets this and all my relatives are hugely understanding. This year I will start at 8.30am on the 24th and finally finish being on call at 5pm on the 29th. Really you are only going to be gone for a few hours.

Altinkum Fri 28-Nov-14 07:16:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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