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To be very disappointed in my brother...

(14 Posts)
Treacletartfortea Mon 10-Nov-14 16:53:25

because he didn't phone or send a card to my DH for his 60th birthday at the weekend?
Brother is 50, unmarried, never had a long relationship in his life, but he did know about the birthday and the plans for it- just us and DCs to nice restaurant.
We've been married 30 years so it's hardly as if my brother doesn't know him or anything. He lives 300 miles away so I thought this once he might make an effort. (He never does anything for the DCs birthdays either even though they are his only niece and nephew.)

NoRoomInTheInn Mon 10-Nov-14 16:57:53

YANBU and I'm not surprised you're disappointed, but some people are not so good at things like sending cards, etc. It doesn't mean he thinks less of your DH.
If he's OK/ considerate in other ways don't sweat it too much. and resist temptation to send sniffy text/ email

Euphemia Mon 10-Nov-14 17:04:09

I think you need to lower your expectations.

My DH has never sent his own DB a birthday card, never mind mine! It just doesn't occur to some people.

Treacletartfortea Mon 10-Nov-14 17:05:59

ok well maybe not a card, but a phone call on the day or the day before perhaps to wish him a nice day and a good celebration?

Lovetheleaves Mon 10-Nov-14 17:09:42

Hmmm by dh would never think of sending a card either. Think my dad did it once and we nearly all had a heart attack. My mum was in hospital at the time and he sent his niece a 21 birthday card. I wouldn't even think about it tbh

ArcheryAnnie Mon 10-Nov-14 17:12:50

YANBU, but some people are more invested in occasions than others.

ShatnersBassoon Mon 10-Nov-14 17:13:23

It probably slipped his mind, if there weren't any plans that involved him. I'm crap at remembering birthdays. It doesn't make me a bad person, they're just not very important to me, mine included. I do try to remember children's birthdays though, because they're truly exciting and important to them.

cheesecakemom Mon 10-Nov-14 17:18:20

YABU - it's a birthday not a wedding! Perhaps your brother is having problems at the moment (bigger than a birthday), maybe he's broke, depressed or just tied up. Maybe birthdays aren't important to him since he doesn't really do anything for your DCs.

I would just get over it and move on.

Jux Mon 10-Nov-14 17:18:23

300 miles away? I wouldn't expect anything from him, unless they were very good friends in touch with each other in their own right.

waithorse Mon 10-Nov-14 17:52:50

YABU. My dh never buys a card for anyone except me. That includes his parents and siblings. I never get the fuss with cards.

BackforGood Mon 10-Nov-14 17:55:29

It's different expectations f different people, but if he doesn't usually send one, then I don't understand why you are surprised or disappointed that he didn't this year - I'd expect that to continue.

championnibbler Mon 10-Nov-14 18:41:04

YABU.
He lives 300 miles away.
Why should he phone or buy a card for your DH?
If you were that concerned with an acknowledgement from your DB then you could have invited him to the 'nice restaurant'.
BTW, men hardly ever buy each other cards. Didn't you know?

KnackeredMuchly Mon 10-Nov-14 19:04:24

Yabu

LadyLuck10 Mon 10-Nov-14 19:08:00

Yanbu. A phone call costs nothing and after 30 years that's the least he could do.
But As you say, he has never bothered about his only niece and nephew so I think this shouldn't come as a surprise. It's still unkind though.

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