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to think children are far bolder these days

(42 Posts)
inmyshoos Sat 08-Nov-14 14:58:23

Im not sure if it a regional thing as we live in a different area from where we grew up but i remember being 10/11 and if i was at a friends house would only really speak to the parents if spoken to or to politely ask something like to ring my mum to come pick me up.
Dd had friends over for her birthday and i am shocked at how cock sure they are. I see it at school too. They address teachers in a very bold familiar way.

For example i walked through my lounge with my phone in hand and one kids says 'who are you phoning?'

Took one with us to town today and she told me twice she was bored and asked could she have money for the vending machine. Aibu? I would never have asked someone elses parent for money or said i was bored! Id have thought twice even with my own parents!!

It is good that they feel they can speak confidently to adults but i feel they are bordering on bloody rude!

SophiaPetrillo Sat 08-Nov-14 15:01:49

There's a difference between being confident and cocksure. I am lucky to be surrounded by some very lovely young people who have diverse opinions and are articulate and eloquent at expressing them. Sounds like your DC's friends are plain rude.

Children are taught from an early age now to not fear expressing themselves and to challenge authority if they believe the authority figure to be wrong.

In the past we were told to "respect our elders" and never question a teacher/doctor/priest etc. Look where that got us...

ApocalypseThen Sat 08-Nov-14 15:05:10

There are limits though, kids shouldn't be asking for money like that, or complaining about being bored if they're out with a friend's parent.

saoirse31 Sat 08-Nov-14 15:10:14

yep agree with posters, different bt being confident and being rude. That said, I'd put up with a fair amount of rudeness to keep the confidence.

MadameJosephine Sat 08-Nov-14 15:12:31

I don't think they were bordering on rude, they were rude! I'd be mortified if one of my DC behaved like that. I do bring them up to be confident and, like the PP said, to express themselves and challenge authority where appropriate but I also teach them manners and respect for others. I'm lucky that their friends parents appear to be doing the same as they behave very respectfully when they visit

EmilyGilmore Sat 08-Nov-14 15:16:10

All your example are cheeky OP. Not confident, just cheeky.

Andanotherthing123 Sat 08-Nov-14 15:39:26

Yanbu-at ds 7th birthday party, I had one child ask repeatedly for a slush puppy instead of the juice we'd supplied and for money for arcade games as the bowling clearly wasn't enough of a treat. I just can't remember any of my friends being like this. It's depressing.

Bambambini Sat 08-Nov-14 15:46:17

Yes, these children are rude and their behaviour unacceptable but I wouldn't want to go back to the days of only speaking when you are spoken to etc and never being able to challenge those deemed to be in authority over you.

Coolas Sat 08-Nov-14 15:49:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CountBapula Sat 08-Nov-14 15:54:40

My DS1 (4yo) is quite confident with adults but I'm quite glad for him, really - I'd hate for him to suffer the crippling shyness I did as a kid. He will chat away to most people and ask them questions etc.

That said: asking for money and complaining that you're bored = rude, not confident, and if DS1 did that he would be very firmly told off.

He did once go up to a lady in the park who was just finishing a phone call, and ask 'Who was that?' shock He was only 3, though, so I think she just found it funny.

TheSpottedZebra Sat 08-Nov-14 15:58:44

When I was growing up, 'bold' meant naughty.

RobinSparkles Sat 08-Nov-14 16:00:28

I think that some children are very rude nowadays.

I used to work in a Primary School and some of the behaviour was shocking although there were some lovely children.

Some of the friends that DD1 has had round for tea have had appalling manners, to the point where I cba having her friends round anymore as I can't bear them. It's a shame because she often gets invitations to other people's houses but I don't want to send her because I don't want to have them back here!

Other adults often say to me "ooh, isn't your DD1 so lovely and well mannered?" I smile and say thank you but what I really want to say is that, no, she isn't - she's normal and has manners that I would expect from anybody, it's just that your child is unspeakably rude!

The friends I had as a child would never have dared to speak to my mother the way that children today speak to me! And I would never have spoken to theirs either.

BertieBotts Sat 08-Nov-14 16:04:24

I don't think it's rude to ask who you're on the phone to, children don't have a concept that it might be private. You can just say "None of your business" if you don't want to tell them.

Saying you're bored is rude and so is asking for money, but rudeness isn't a personality thing, it's just what they've been taught. If they've never been told that it's not okay to ask other people then they won't know.

I think confidence is a good thing. Openly sneery or negative is overtly rude. The other stuff, harmless. They should be told it's not okay but it's not the kind of thing you innately know.

(I think bold = naughty is an Irish thing? In England it just means confident with no negative connotation.)

RobinSparkles Sat 08-Nov-14 16:04:51

Just to add -
DD1 is very confident when talking to adults but in a nice way not cheeky!

pointythings Sat 08-Nov-14 16:37:46

Asking for money and saying you're bored = rude. Asking who you're calling - depends on the age of the child and the situation, so not necessarily rude.

I like the fact that my DDs' friends aren't shy with me and can speak to me openly and confidently - it was very different when I was a child. In those days my mum had the same knack of drawing my friends out and enjoying their company, but that was very much not the norm.

On the whole I feel that yes, there are rude children out there, but the new openness in relationships between children and adults is a good thing.

Rabbitcar Sat 08-Nov-14 16:42:20

I agree OP. Sometimes I think I have the last quiet DDs left in London! They will speak politely when spoken to but won't generally instigate conversations with adults. All their friends treat me like I'm one of them. I wish my DDs were more confident, for their sake, but never mind, they are who they are. And I wouldn't want them to be like the DCs in OP's post, I suppose.

Bambambini Sat 08-Nov-14 17:07:20

TheSpottedZebra "When I was growing up, 'bold' meant naughty."

Are you Irish, my Irish friends always says it.

DogCalledRudis Sat 08-Nov-14 17:22:45

I was called rude many times as a child as i would speak my opinion or make comments -- stuff that adults would say and expect children not to repeat.

bigTillyMint Sat 08-Nov-14 17:26:27

I love that Irish term "bold"smile

They are bolder, but I would beblush if mine had ever done that. DS did/does have one mate that was a bit too bold when he was younger, but I just told him! He was a great kid and didn't take it the wrong way, and he's a really lovely teen, confident with adults in a grown-up way. Well all my DC and their friends aresmile

squoosh Sat 08-Nov-14 17:36:50

I clicked on this thread to ask the OP if she was Irish. Only Irish people use 'bold' in that context.

squoosh Sat 08-Nov-14 17:40:23

My mother still tells me I'm 'bold as brass'. I'm 36.

SaucyJackOLantern Sat 08-Nov-14 17:44:52


I had a friend of DD's start rifling through my bag "looking for sweets" in the park after school one day. I was sat next to her bloody mother (who said nothing!) as well.

BackforGood Sat 08-Nov-14 17:47:00

What Sophia said in the first reply.

TheSpottedZebra Sat 08-Nov-14 17:48:25

Bambamini - I'm Irishy Scottish (tho in England at mo - boo) so am never sure if sayings are from either, or, or both!

Bambambini Sat 08-Nov-14 17:53:49

No, it's Irish, not Scottish!

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