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to wish that every activity didn't have to be photographed and shared on Facebook?

(30 Posts)
LapsedTwentysomething Thu 30-Oct-14 14:45:36

I'm very camera shy, as are both my parents and one of my brothers. It's ingrained in me, but I don't see that as something I should want to fix. I have no need to be more confident in front of the camera.

In spring I joined a women's running group. I did so as I'm embarrassed about running alone due to my weight and I just generally hate being conspicuous; also because I wanted to have company for dark winter running. They have a closed FB group but it's a large one and on a small town, lots of people have links to it.

It really annoys me that there's frequently a photographer taking warm-up and mid-run snaps which then get uploaded to the FB page. Over the summer, a much smaller group of us went running, and while I was really pleased with how well I ran, someone took a pic from behind of me running across a field and again, put it on FB. I look awful thundering along in my Lycra, and although that specifically isn't the reason, it really embarrassed me and I haven't been back since. It's made me feel worse about running alone, and again, I haven't done that since either.

I was going to get back into it this week, life having quietened down a little, but didn't have a Halloween fancy dress outfit I hand hmm so didn't bother. Glad I didn't as there was photo after photo of runners and teams. I don't want to be picture sweaty, red-faced and Lycra clad, thanks! I really don't think I'll bother going back now. I'll probably just keep myself to myself in the ladies only gym over winter.

There's also a park run fairly close by. I've been put off joining in that due to the incessant photography. I did raise this with te organisers and they suggested I make myself known and they wouldn't take my picture. However, how is a random photographer going to identify me among hundreds of runners? Another thing is a 10k that I was going to sign up for. But I just bloody know that the camera will be out and it'll be up on FB by the afternoon.

Ok this is a personal moan, but why is it just assumed that everyone wants their photo taken? Of course I could opt out if I wanted to, and ignore the 'come on, get in the photo' demands, but I don't want to mark myself as the awkward one. Why do we private types have to do that? Why can't there be more of an opt in mentality about having pics taken and uploaded to FB?

fanjobiscuits Thu 30-Oct-14 14:48:39

YANBU. I hate it when people put pics online without permission. But when I ask for them not to, however politely, I always feel like they think I'm being ridiculous.


MonanaGellar Thu 30-Oct-14 14:49:56

Yanbu. Life now seems to be more about posting about activities or events on facebook than actually enjoying them. You see it at concerts especially.

SDTGisASpookyWoooolefGenius Thu 30-Oct-14 14:52:20

YANBU. Could you speak to the group's organisers, and explain that you don't like having your photograph taken, and ask them to avoid doing it in future? And if they understood, and said they'd try to do this - might you be able to go back?

I know exactly how you feel about photographs - but it would be a real shame if these snappers prevented you from doing an activity you enjoy.

LapsedTwentysomething Thu 30-Oct-14 14:54:36

Oh and don't get me stared on my uncle and cousin, who recorded out wedding (I specifically didn't want a videographer) then edited all and did the big reveal at a family party. I was told by my auntie that I should buy them each a nice bottle of wine as a thank you. I haven't watched the bloody thing since.

Thebodynowchillingsothere Thu 30-Oct-14 14:57:08

I totally agree with you op. My dm always said that it's the height of bad manners to take pictures of others unless they agree.

I think sadly those days are gone.

The ladies only gym sounds a great idea.

I honestly think my news feed will feature someone taking a dump soon and their status would be 'having a crap'

Leela5 Thu 30-Oct-14 15:01:37

lapsed yes! I specifically said I didn't want wedding filmed because no one ever watches them and I wanted folk to feel at ease and not worried about video.

Mil ignored me and filmed whole thing including me sobbing after my dad's awful horrible speech and me being too drunk. She made copies for people sad

BOFster Thu 30-Oct-14 15:11:49

I totally agree with you. I would much rather experience an event and remember the way it felt to me at the time than view it at one step removed through a phone screen. It just feels so inauthentic to me, almost as though people feel that something special (or even quite ordinary) doesn't really count unless it has been documented digitally. I think it's an example of technology actually alienating us from ourselves while pretending to connect us to others.

Thebodynowchillingsothere Thu 30-Oct-14 15:22:30

Good grief Leela how bloody intrusive and rude.

puntasticusername Thu 30-Oct-14 15:24:07

YANBU at all about the photography thing, but (in a totally not pervy way, honest grin) I bet you look great when you're running. Until recently (now back at the gym, yay) I've been a frustrated wannabe runner - if I'd seen a photo of you running I'm sure I'd just have been as jealous as hell of your lovely run, would have you thought you were having a great time, and I really wouldn't have given a shit how you looked in your Lycra!

LapsedTwentysomething Thu 30-Oct-14 15:54:55

Seriously puntastic, the sight of my love handles would put you off your dinner (and that was in a wicking, slimming fabric --or so I thought--)

As would the sight of my bouncing belly from the front view.

skylark2 Thu 30-Oct-14 15:56:57

YANBU - I hate that everything has to be Facebooked, and refused to have my wedding videoed. (Apparently family friend did a bit unofficially and discreetly anyway just for DH's granny who wasn't well enough to be there. I'm good with that.)

That said, nobody who's a remotely decent human being will be thinking about what you look like in your Lycra, they'll be thinking "good on Lapsed for getting out there and running."

Off to thunder about in my own Lycra a bit later on - it took me months and months to summon up the courage to even wear it, even though everyone else did and I was roasting in sweatpants.

Such a shame if you're missing out on an activity you enjoy - maybe the photographing will take a back seat now the evenings are dark?

BeeRayKay Thu 30-Oct-14 16:20:46

I'm a prolific Facebook photographer. My sister lives in New Zealand, my elder brother in Newcastle, my kid bother in Derby, me in Lincolnshire, my Sil in Indonesia and my parents in law in London. So its the only way they get to see the kids as much as they want.

however, !manners should be exercised and I don't post photos of others without their permission

NickiFury Thu 30-Oct-14 16:22:31

I love it. My photos of my children are all centralised so if I lose my phone or lap top breaks it's not a headache accessing them again. Also I am very nosy and like knowing what's going on with everyone's life smile.

LilAnnieAmphetamine Thu 30-Oct-14 16:24:01

I never post without permission, nor do I tag. Other peoples kids are especially off limits.

I am happy to say I do not want to be snapped- I opted out of various group photos recently because they were destined for online and I didn't allow people to post photos of our wedding either. Nobody raised eyebrows, most of my friends aren't that fussed about FB anyway thank goodness.

PfftTheMagicDraco Thu 30-Oct-14 16:28:13

YANBU, if not purely on the basis that FB has licence to use any photos posted on the site. This is why I don't post any.

Neverbuyheliumbalonz Thu 30-Oct-14 16:47:02

YANBU - I am seeing this a lot over the last few days as everyone takes photos of all the amazing Halloween activities that they are doing with their kids and then posting them on Facebook! Surely one should be enjoying the activity with the child rather than being like 'ooooh wait, can you just hold the scissors again darling, that last photo was too blurry to share!'

Neverbuyheliumbalonz Thu 30-Oct-14 16:48:46

I realise I am projecting my own feelings of inadequacy as I'm am crap at crafts so I don't have a Facebook full of photos my kids doing stimulating crafty activities!

WilburIsSomePig Thu 30-Oct-14 16:53:59

YANBU at all.

browneyedgirl86 Thu 30-Oct-14 17:00:36

Yanbu in the slightest. I don't like being photographed either and I hate that everything in life has to be a status update.

hackmum Thu 30-Oct-14 17:03:13

I hate it too. It's such a shock. Not so long ago I went to a party and I imagined I looked quite good. Then somebody posted a pic of me on FB and I looked just awful: grey haired, red-faced, slightly sozzled and dress askew. I'd rather not know, to be honest.

pluCaChange Thu 30-Oct-14 17:03:44

Maybe a running group which promises NO PHOTOGRAPHS would be popular!

NewEraNewMindset Thu 30-Oct-14 17:08:42

Another one who hates it, loathes it, DETESTS it. I have come off Facebook now as I am totally sick of know the minutiae of everyone's business. I also hate that every event requires the taking of photos and uploading etc. We used to be allowed to just get on with living life but no, now we have to record every bloody moment. Drives me insane and actually I think people are forgetting to love in the moment nowadays because they are so busy trying to document the moment.

Rollontome Thu 30-Oct-14 17:13:18

Social media is horribly intrusive, I'm so glad it wasn't around for people to plaster child photos of me all over the internet or when I was a rebellious teen, god, teenagers can't even get drunk in peace or make stupid mistakes without it hounding them online for the rest of their lives nowadays. They have to act as if they're being watched at all times. Actually we all do if we leave the house now.

Every private moment of peoples lives ending up on platforms like Facebook is changing our culture. Privacy is no longer respected as a human right, people are much more self concious, paranoid, comparing themselves to others, not to mention having to watch other people to make sure they don't have the opportunity to put your kid up on their Facebook page. Wtf is that one about????? The amount of people I've had to tell (repeatedly in some cases) to get my daughters photo off their page is fucking ridiculous. I've never thought "oh look someone else's kid, If I stick their picture up on FB people will think I have a life". Pathetic.

I'd love to see privacy laws banning the publishing of any image that hasn't been granted permission by that person or their parents/guardian.

foslady Thu 30-Oct-14 18:26:12

I don't get why people insist on photographing plates of food in a pub/cafe/restaurant - both before and after they've tucked in

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