AIBU or is DH (WORK RELATED)

[Mooycow]

DH yesterday left his work card in work, and after 2 hrs looking , cant find it.Today lots of phone calls to work, boss and security and it still has not appeared.so issue is.
Cant work without said card (legal stuff),
obs some B**d (code for work mate) has found said card and is
a) keeping hold of it (as a laugh) ?
b)( my suggestion) , has put it in his pocket to return to security, and had forgotten about it . follow on idiot face from DH.The shift doesnt start until 5pm so it may not even be found until then.
So when I sugested that HE left it , HE lost it and its actually not B**d work mates nec havin a laugh? DH completely loses it starts shouting that he knew i would take their side ???
And if he loses money will i be laughing then ????
so AIBU or is he .

[tittifilarious]

Er he is!

I have a staff pass to enter this building - my responsibility to keep it safe. If it was something I had to have in order to work legally I'd make damn sure I kept it safe.

[ginnycakes]

Mooycow absolutely not. Sounds like your DH is the one in the wrong here. What a horrible response!

[LineRunner]

Why on earth would a work mate withhold his livelihood for a 'laugh'.

Much more likely it has been stolen (sorry), or as you say is on its way to being handed in.

[MrsWembley]

He's an idiot for losing it but these things happen. Tea and sympathy and a cuff round the ear...

However, HIBU for his reaction to your suggestion that he might be at fault. A good shout and a lack of tea and sympathy would be the best thing there!

[Mooycow]

He does get cross with himself and start to verbally lash out . I do know he is bu but sometimes its nice to hear from others. Thought perhaps i wasnt being sympathetic enough lol

[LineRunner]

I think you can show sympathy as he is probably very stressed and pissed off with himself, but only after he says sorry for snapping at you inappropriately.

What did Security say?

[LineRunner]

Oh and hi to MrsW! We are both experts at losing the plot, OP

[Mooycow]

The unspoken rule is if you find a card is to leave it where it is and the person who left it may remember where it is OR you hand it to security.Security have not got it , and to make things worse , what I think he is most agrieved about is he had to do the WALK OF SHAME because you cannot exit work without card .S o he got to the gates , no card and had to return to depot change back into work gear and return to card machine thing ? and then walk all the way back again , and boys being boys (idiots) its a big thing to do the WOS and every one takes the P**s.

[stealthsquiggle]

There must be a process for retrieving or replacing lost cards, surely?

He is BU, obviously, but if I were you I would stop trying to be helpful and stay as far away as you physically can until he works it out (and apologises!)

[diddl]

I do think he overreacted, but his workmates do sound twattish enough to "forget" to hand his card in from what you have posted.

How does it work though?

You surely show/use card & put it sraight back in pocket/wallet?

[Topseyt]

He is being unreasonable. It is HIS problem. Not yours.

My husband is always losing things. He just never puts anything down in the same place twice. His office security pass has turned up in the laundry more than once too. He doesn't lash out verbally like yours though, and he listens to any reasonable suggestions as to where things might be.

There will be a system for replacing lost cards. It won't be the first time it has happened (or the last).

He owes you an apology. Beyond that I would say nothing more about it and leave him to stew.

[Hereward1332]

He's out of order shouting at you, but I don't really understand why you felt you had to tell him that it was his fault for losing it, unless he has form for being careless with things. From what you say he was wound up anyway and worried about losing work.

[CheesyBadger]

My dp finds it incredibly difficult to take responsibility for little things like this. He would react in the same way I think. Very annoying

[WooWooOwl]

Clearly, he's being unreasonable. But I don't think you were very diplomatic or supportive either tbh. It's horrible when you lose things that are really important, and it's natural to have a bit of a rant.

My DH and I would just shut up and let the other get on with it, no matter how much angry bollocks we were spouting.