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to think that 'being laid back' can be over rated?

(22 Posts)
dolphinsandwhales Thu 28-Aug-14 11:32:46

I'll start by saying I'm not a laid back person grin, but seriously, I hear a lot of people talking about how great a person is because they are so 'laid back' and not fussed about anything, but I think it's over rated. For example my manager at work is so laid back he doesn't know what work is due on a given day, my friend is so laid back she's not bothered about working and doesn't plan for the future.

I can see that being laid back has its merits, less stress etc, but if everyone was laid back I think society would grind to a halt...

ghostisonthecanvas Thu 28-Aug-14 11:35:51

You are mixing up laid back with lazy. My son frequently does the
laid back isn't about not doing anything its about being generally relaxed imo

Davsmum Thu 28-Aug-14 11:38:32

That is right,.. Laid back is not getting phased or stressed out or all intense about things. What you describe IS lazy.
My sister is laid back. She gets loads done - helps everyone else and is always busy - but she is always relaxed about it all and never gets irritable.

Charitybelle Thu 28-Aug-14 12:46:06

My friends and family mostly describe me as 'laid back' which I find odd as I do harbour my fair share of anxiety about the usual things (I think everyone does deep down)?
You're right that it seems to be seen as a 'positive' quality. But then I do think the world would be a better place if people were genuinely more laid back, I think we live in quite a stressed out, time pressured way now, and maybe people are just jealous of anyone who seems to be less stressed out by it all? I do agree with pp, there is a difference between lazy and laid back, it's often mixed up!

Frontier Thu 28-Aug-14 12:56:58

I agree, being laid back usually means you don't care.

I am laid back about the state of my DC's hair/faces/clothes, I am not at all laid back about their manners or school work.

I am laid back about housework, but the absolute polar opposite of laid back at work.

I think it's unusual to find someone who is genuinely relaxed about everything. Actually some of the most stressed people I know are seen as laid back by colleagues/acquaintances. They say, "don't worry, it doesn't matter", while they're fit to burst inside, but that's not being laid back.

blueshoes Thu 28-Aug-14 13:13:14

I cannot abide by 'laid back' people. I'd prefer people to engage.

limitedperiodonly Thu 28-Aug-14 13:24:53

I'm alarmed by people who have to do something, anything, because they confuse caution or being laid back with indecision and laziness.

They call it being proactive. I sigh and say: 'Well, it's done now and you can't take it back. So stop panicking and let's try to work out how to get out that hole you've dug for yourself.'

We all have responsibilities but people with a compulsion to 'do' things instead of not reacting to every little event are a right pain in the neck.

bluesbaby Thu 28-Aug-14 14:02:39

That's not true. I'm the organiser of our household and in a lot of my friendships, and with work. I've also been described as "so laidback you're practically horizontal". I'm just not a hothead and I don't panic easily. Unless you're about to die and then I may drive you very fast to a hospital whilst loudly talking to you to prevent you from falling asleep. grin

MrsWinnibago Thu 28-Aug-14 14:32:24

DH is laid back and it drives me MAD. He never gets in a tizz even when things go madly wrong. He brought the wrong passport to the airport once and had to phone our lift up (who was halfway home) to come back, pick him up and take him home.

He made it back on time...JUST and never even broke a sweat.

I was having palpitations with two DC in departures.

NeoFaust Thu 28-Aug-14 14:44:04

It's just being emotionally continent, like we were always told adults should be (though so many seem to fail...)

tittifilarious Thu 28-Aug-14 14:50:05

I don't know. I'm described as laid back because I don't run round headless chicken style panicking. If there's a problem or something that needs to be done I concentrate on what needs doing rather than all the dramatics.

I'm good at my job so there is a certain amount of self-assurance there. In life generally I'm also quite good at putting things into perspective/prioritising which helps me to never feel out of control. I also don't give headspace to anything I can't control but I will focus on what can be done to minimise negative impacts.

I don't equate being laid back to being lazy or not caring. I equate it to being confident and in control so there's no need to stress.

sillystring Thu 28-Aug-14 19:44:57

Agree that you've described laziness as opposed to "laid back" which isn't the same thing at all.

I'd prefer laid back to be more prevalent, rather than the hysterical nonsense portrayed on shows like X Factor, Bake Off and similar reality rubbish.

Fairylea Thu 28-Aug-14 19:50:27

I'm very laid back. .not lazy though. I just can't begin to get worried about anything that isn't life or death. I think it comes from nearly dying twice in childbirth for different reasons and nursing my gran (who was like my mum) through terminal bowel cancer at home with me. Oh and then my boiler caught fire and my house nearly burnt down with me in it.

Nothing worries me anymore. It's like I'm totally immune to it all grin I drive my dh nuts.

Ilovexmastime Thu 28-Aug-14 20:17:59

Lazy people are very annoying, laid back people are great... imo. I can't bear people who get stressed about the smallest thing, especially when there's nothing to be done about it, it's such a waste of energy.

Lifesalemon Thu 28-Aug-14 20:57:22

I think people who have had a lot of major things to deal with like fairylea do appear to be more laid back because they put things in perspective and don't stress over the small things like some people do.
I have a cousin on the other end of the scale who is so dramatic that a spilt cup of coffee is the end of the world and she is forever shrieking 'why does everything always go wrong for me' she just gets on everyone's nerves.

MexicanSpringtime Thu 28-Aug-14 21:21:04

I'm called laid back, but I'm just lazy

Fairylea Thu 28-Aug-14 21:27:52

<remembers funny story that when my boiler caught fire I was on the phone to the head consultant at the hospital about my grans cancer spreading and I just calmly said "I'm terribly sorry, I'm going to have to call you back. My house has caught fire"...! grin>

Tikimon Thu 28-Aug-14 21:55:18

I'm only friends with laid back people. smile High strung people drive me nuts.

Being laid back isn't the same as being apathetic or disorganized. It's just being relaxed and calm under pressures, and not letting little things get under their skin.

foslady Thu 28-Aug-14 21:55:39

Problem is those who are 'laid back' don't usually realise the extra effort and worry they put on others xh mk1 I'm looking at you and the shitty life I led thanks to your 'It'll be alright' attitude to every fucking thing in life and my scrimping, scraping and apologies I had to give thanks to you being 'laid back' (oh God that was cathartic!!!!)

unrealhousewife Thu 28-Aug-14 22:09:42

I hate unnecessary drama. What's the point in fussing when nothing has actually gone wrong. Daughter comes home late, pointless to worry, what are you going to do about it anyway? Save the energy for when she gets home.

But I can cope with drama queens, what I really can't bear is people that use laid back as an excuse for not taking responsibility. So when you see a child being threatened, don't turn away and say there's nothing you can do. When you hear of an injustice don't say you don't believe in politics and when you see a drunk on the floor don't assume they will be fine.

There are far too many people these days who think that not making a fuss is some kind of virtue when it really is just cowardice and laziness.

RonaldMcDonald Thu 28-Aug-14 22:20:44

I think being laid back means different things to different people

People who know me think and say I am laid back

I'm far from it

I am polite, even tempered, articulate and very organised also I do some shit like yoga and listening which makes people think you are a zen goddess

BeachyKeen Thu 28-Aug-14 23:25:31

Laid back, lazy and disorganized are all different things.
They may all occur in the same person.
A woman who is unflappable, takes everyhting in her stride, and gets it all done is laid back, not lazy.

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