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AIBU?

To change a present someone gave me?

15 replies

BocaDeTrucha · 28/06/2014 10:55

Was given some jewellery as a birthday present by a colleague and she gave me the cost receipt and said I could change it if i wanted to. It wasn't really my taste so I did change it to another piece of jewellery which is much more my style and I now wear everyday.

Yesterday someone else at work was given a present by the same person and she says told she could change it if she wanted to, to which she replied "oh, I would never do that" and I felt like sinking into the floor. Surely is better to change something and use it and enjoy it rather than not like something and is a wasted present. Or when people say "you can change it" they don't honestly expect you to?

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dexter73 · 28/06/2014 10:58

Yanbu - she gave you the receipt as she realised it might not be to your taste and she would rather you had something you liked and wore rather than thanking her and then sticking the present in a drawer!

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Vintagebeads · 28/06/2014 10:59

I think its fine to change.
I just wouldnt tell her.

I have had lots of gift that I have thanked people for and then changed.
I never say a word about it so no chance of feelings being hurt.

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AlpacaPicnic · 28/06/2014 10:59

YANBU. The whole point of giving the receipt is so that it can be changed - and jewellery is so personal, it needs to be something you will actually wear.
I would rather someone had something they liked.

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bleurghblah · 28/06/2014 11:00

people are divided. I always give a recipe if I have one and urge people to change it if they don't like it. Likewise if I gave something that was second hand I would always say feel free to regifting it if you don't like it.

Not everyone has the same taste but then it's nice to get presents as sometimes people pick something that you love that you wouldn't have bought yourself.

I think anyone who gets offended by it is being a bit precious, but I also think it has to work both ways. If you are happy to exchnage then you can't be offended if someone else does it

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RunnerHasbeen · 28/06/2014 11:01

Saying you would never swap it is just another way of saying "I love it, and want to keep it," not a moral judgement on someone who did swap a present. I doubt they were thinking about you or even knew you swapped it. If someone gives you a receipt then they are not offended, they want you to have a present you like. You are getting wound up over nothing, honestly, enjoy your jewellery.

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BocaDeTrucha · 28/06/2014 11:11

The comment was made before she opened the present, so not because she loved it and wanted to keep it. And I don't think it was a dig at me as she's not that sort of person. But I know I would not mind in the least of someone swapped a present and didn't think anyone else would really, but this comment yesterday made me doubt it all.

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SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 28/06/2014 11:18

I'm totally split on this as I do always give the receipt with that kind of gift. BUT, I would never exchange a gift someone had given me myself, because I think it is rude when someone has been kind enough to spend time (and money) choosing me something.

I have absolutely no idea why I think it would be rude for me to exchange a gift but don't mind people exchanging what I give them! Makes no sense Grin.

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Iswallowedawatermelon · 28/06/2014 11:19

I think it is fine, and she obviously had some doubts over her choice if she supplied the receipt.

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Pagwatch · 28/06/2014 11:23

I wouldn't worry.
I'm a bit like her - I never change presents given to me. I'm not even sure why tbh, I just wouldn't feel right. It's odd.
But I always want whoever I buy for to exchange if they want to. I give a gift because I want to make them happy and that might men exchanging.

I know it sounds contradictory but I genuinely feel that way.
Your friend might be the same.

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Bouttimeforwine · 28/06/2014 11:25

I dont want to waste my money on something they would never wear. I would be more upset that the other woman didn't change it if she didn't like it.

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noneofyours · 28/06/2014 11:54

YANBU, what's the point of wasting money and why else would someone give the receipt and offer you to change if they didn't suspect that it may not be to your tastes?

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BeanyIsPregnant · 28/06/2014 11:59

I've always taken the stance of 'I know it's the thought that counts, but they have spent money..' If someone gave me £10 I wouldn't shove it in the back of a draw, I would use it! The same thought for me is with presents, id rather change a present and make sure the money they spent was used..

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Firsttimer7259 · 28/06/2014 12:06

Fine to change if she gave you receipt. Tell her what you got and how much you like it

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chanie44 · 28/06/2014 12:08

I'm always returning presents - even without a receipt.

Whilst I'm grateful for any gift I get, I think it's more important to have something that will be used, than something unwanted.

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angelohsodelight · 28/06/2014 14:33

You could have said it was slightly damaged do had to change it ..

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