to think that I do not have a bad attitude?

[rosiepie43]

DH always says that I have a bad attitude to him, or that I have an attitude problem. But in reality he says it whenever I won't do as he says or go along with his jokes.

He'll make a personal joke about me, or do something that I don't find funny, such as try to play fight with me or tickle me, and if I say I don't find it funny or tell him to get off he gets in a bad mood and says that it's me and my general attitude towards him that makes him cross.

He also will say things like why haven't I done the ironing and I'll say I haven't had a chance yet because I've been doing X, Y or Z, and then again he'll be in a bad mood because he says I've got an attitude.

I try so hard to be assertive but polite/nice, and not to speak in a snappy tone, but he seems to get cross whenever he doesn't get his own way.

He is currently sulking because apparently I had a bad attitude to him this morning when I said to him that the bad mood he woke up in today wasn't fair on the DCs....

[FatalCabbage]

So if you ever answer back or disagree with him you have a bad attitude? He's cross and tells you off when he doesn't get his own way?

Are you sure you shouldn't have posted this in Relationships?

I don't think you have a bad attitude; I think you have a bad marriage.

[PrincessBabyCat]

He is either being controlling or manipulative to avoid personal responsibility or you say things harsher than you realize.

Everyone bristles a little bit when they're told to stop playing when they thought the other was having fun. DH gets a bit sulky when I tell him to cut the crap some days and says I'm being cranky. My answer is just, yep I am, so let's do something else.

Also, the ironing. Tell him to do it himself. You're not mommy.

[Pumpkinpositive]

You sound fine. He sounds like a prince among men... NOT.

[AyaPapaya]

Anyone over the age of 5 who sulks is a bit of a fuckwit, IMO. Sorry if that sounds flippant, but I've lived with a man child like this and believe me, it will get worse.

[restandpeace]

Hes a dick.

[restandpeace]

My dh would never complain about the ironing or any other domestic chore.

[CarbeDiem]

It doesn't sound like you - he sounds like child and a controlling one at that.

What's it to him if you haven't done the ironing? tell him to fuck off and do it himself if he's that concerned.

Does he often wake up in a bad mood and spoil the weekend for his family?

[rosiepie43]

Yeah he's very moody and detached from us all a lot of the time.

If I was to tell him to fuck off and do the ironing himself he'd then turn it around onto me and end up making me feel guilty and that I was over reacting and speaking to him like dirt.

[pictish]

It's not you, it's him.

Basically, any situation that focuses on him and his poor behaviour is swiftly turned around and made into your problem.

He expects you to soak up his shit without complaint.

Do you want to?

[MooncupGoddess]

Telling someone they have an attitude problem is the sort of thing a teacher says to a pupil, not a husband to his wife.

It sounds like he expects unquestioning respect from you, OP... without giving you any respect himself.

Is he a twat in other ways?

[rosiepie43]

He's generally a twat in lots of ways at the moment. He hasn't always been that way but has got more and more twat-ish over the past few years.