To not want to send DS to stay with Nan for one night?(2 Posts)
Going to stay with my mum next weekend (lives a few hours away) and she has offered to take DS (3) early as she will be in our town any way. And lots of cant wait to give you a lovely restful weekend away with me so you can really get some rest (am seven months pg).
Obviously I hugely appreciate the offer. The trouble is, we have done this before and she is always absolutely exhausted and sort of bored by the time I arrive. My DS is a terrible sleeper. She is also a super hands on nan (only 47 had me v young) so I think feels she has to play non stop when he is in her care. As a result when I get down (DH not coming this time) she is desperate to be doing her own thing and does lots of 'just popping to the butcher' for two hours. (She did this last time and then found out later from one of her friends she had actually gone over for a coffee). She is of course entitled to her own life but it just leaves me a bit lonely. I have f friends in the area so could make other plans while she goes out. But the trouble is she doesn't want me to. She says just nipping out back in a few mins then back a few hours later. In my normal life we don't spend that much time at home and do lots of outings, seeing friends etc.
I do completely see why she would feel the need for time to herself as toddlers are very full on. But I think maybe I would prefer to have a fun weekend the three of us over having the night off.
I have tried once before talking to her about the going out for hours thing (as in saying I don't mind at all just let me know so I can make other plans) but she got very upset because I think she feels she wants everything to be perfect. Would slightly prefer to keep notion of idyllic weekend of rest for me.
What would you do?
Have you suggested that you go for a day trip together on one of the days?
You could say "Oh I fancy going to (local attraction) on Saturday. What do you think? We can all go together!" Then if she offers to have him over night on the Friday say thank you but you think he would sleep better at home and he needs lots of energy for the day trip.
I think the way around it is to plan things to do together, that can include rest stops - picnics in the park, coffee shop, lunch out etc. Then she can be hands on and not have to over do it. Play gyms can be a good compromise - you and mum sit with a cuppa whilst DS plays.
If none of the above works then you will need to explain to her how you feel.
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