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To think this woman was tactless in the extreme

(17 Posts)
listsandbudgets Wed 02-Apr-14 22:33:49

My friend who I'll call A has had a terrible couple of years culminating in her husband leaving her with 3 children aged 1, 5 and 7. Wihout going into too much detail there was domestic violence, alchoholism and gambling and he's left her in a terrible position. Shes had to take so much leave to deal with the problems she's been left with nothing left until mid May when her leave year starts. On top of that her mum died last year sad

With the Easter holidays coming up some of us were obviously worried about how she'd deal with the situation so we stood at the school gate with her and made a list agreeing which day(s) we could take her children through the Easter holidays if she would like us to. When she arrived we gave her the list and told her that she only had to phone the person on the list for that day any day she had a problem and we'd sort things out for her.

Another mum who to be fair we don't know that well and may not know hte circumstances over heard all of this and said loudly to her friend "clearly some people can't be bothered to look after their kids must be nice to off load it onto other people wonder if they'll look after ours too".

AIBU to think however little she knew about the circumstances she was utterly and completely tactless and she should ahve kept her mouth shut.

maddening Wed 02-Apr-14 22:35:48

Tactless and weird frankly- who on earth would say that even not knowing the circumstances

hmc Wed 02-Apr-14 22:37:40

Oh God - how did you stop yourself from going over and reading her the riot act. YANBU

listsandbudgets Wed 02-Apr-14 22:39:16

hmc because someone else did before I drew my breath - not sure what he said as had to go before he came back

ICanSeeTheSun Wed 02-Apr-14 22:39:47

that sound brilliant. ( the list)

some people need to butt out of other people lives.

littleblackno Wed 02-Apr-14 22:40:06

Just bloody rude. Many people make arrangements for childcare at the school gates without what you have described. Sounds like you are being very thoughtful.
Ignore her.

FunkyBoldRibena Wed 02-Apr-14 22:42:21

The words you were looking for were 'fuck off and mind your own business'.

hmc Wed 02-Apr-14 22:42:25

Am glad that she was put straight - awful woman!

AnnieLobeseder Wed 02-Apr-14 22:42:56

"clearly some people can't be bothered to look after their kids must be nice to off load it onto other people wonder if they'll look after ours too".

Did she not see the glaring contradiction in her tactless rant either?

Some people can't be bothered to look after their kids, but of course I can because I'm a good parent.

Oooh, how lovely to get rid of the kids, take mine too please!


Obviously a sad attention-seeker, I feel sorry for her.

PomBearWithAnOFRS Wed 02-Apr-14 22:43:09

She was probably jealous and just wishing someone would take her DCs off her hands for a while. It won't have been personal, as she doesn't even know your friend or anything about her, so it can't have been really... Just ignore her.

callamia Wed 02-Apr-14 22:50:24

Sounds like she's jealous because she doesn't have friends that might do the same for her. Mean and sad.

kotinka Wed 02-Apr-14 22:53:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AskBasil Wed 02-Apr-14 22:54:26

I don't think she was tactless.

I think she was bloody vicious actually.

Tactless is when you put your foot in it by accident but you don't necessarily mean to hurt someone.

This woman clearly meant to cause hurt.

She sounds horrible.

aquashiv Wed 02-Apr-14 22:55:22

you sound wonderful friends

Jinsei Wed 02-Apr-14 22:58:30

YANBU. But you and the other mums sound lovely!

slowcomputer Wed 02-Apr-14 23:15:42

All I can say is what an absolutely lovely bunch of people you are (not that woman obviously). I can't think of a better way to handle it, you've offered the help without pressurising her or making her feel bad. I wish I had friends like you.

littleducks Thu 03-Apr-14 12:04:05

How odd?
I would either assume that there was something bad going on and you were all nice friends or that it was Your friends turn for

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