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AIBU?

To ask how often do you go to the pub with two under 3yrs?

39 replies

Albertatata · 23/03/2014 13:09

We have DS1 2.5yrs and DS2 6months. We are the first of our friends to have children although others now are pregnant or have babies/15month olds.

Friends often arrange to meet up but often its at a pub. DS1 is not the sitting down type (more running around and tantrumming type at the mo) and merely the thought of taking him to a pub is exhausting - also the fact that we also have DS2 now makes it less easy to tag team and not really a relaxing experience that a Sunday afternoon in a pub used to be.

Anyway I feel that we are being antisocial not going and that maybe we should be making more of an effort so just wondering if I'm being unreasonable not going. How many of you still frequent pubs with toddlers?

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99redbafoons · 23/03/2014 13:15

We were just having this conversation! We have DS 2.9 and frankly, going to a pub with him would be hell. We have to wrestle him to sit at the table at home for dinner. We wouldn't really opt to take him to the pub anyway as he would get bored. We may pop along in the summer to one with a good play area in the garden but I think our boozy afternoons are behind us for a while!

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JeanSeberg · 23/03/2014 13:16

When the weather gets better, do you have a pub with an outdoor play area and outdoor seating?

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WottaTheOdds · 23/03/2014 13:17

Simple...you don't! You ask your mates round to yours for a much cheaper cheeky tipple. Their circumstances are more flexible than yours.


Or you restrict pub going to one at a time or to going with friends who are similarly encumbered so you can share the load!

Wine

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NiceTabard · 23/03/2014 13:20

Never.

I felt that there was no point going out and doing stuff that I knew would be really hard work and totally unrelaxing.

I only went when DH had teh kids and vice versa. Can you take it in turns to go out and have a proper relaxing time out?

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cerealqueen · 23/03/2014 13:20

Never - how would the be relaxing for anybody?

Pubs are not for kids, why inflict my kids on others wanting some nice quiet adult time?

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JustAboutAdeqeuate · 23/03/2014 13:20

I see my friends and their 21 month old twins at a pub quite often, but we usually reserve a table for lunch in a side room where they can run around to their hearts' content. I see a lot of small children at my local too but it is very family friendly with a large play area. You could make it work if you find the right pub, but if its just for a boozy afternoon rather than lunch and a catch up, its probably more trouble than its worth.

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Nomama · 23/03/2014 13:20

You'll get it back in better weather for certain.

But most pubs are now desperate to increase footfall, go and have a look at a few and see what they are like inside. You never know, you might find one or two gems that fully accommodate knackered mummies and daddies needing some adult friends in their life.

Ask them if they would consider X Y or Z to make it easier for parents with toddlers. Don't be shy about it, they may be grateful for any suggestions.

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Albertatata · 23/03/2014 13:22

Oh good I don't feel so bad/ antisocial now!

We did used to invite people round instead but people prefer to go to the pub 'whilst they can/ before they hit toddler stage' which is fair enough I suppose. Just a shame we are not at the same stages.

I've Also only had 5 hrs of broken sleep last night, still not had a shower yet and can't bear the thought of all the cats bums faces of non parents in the pub trying to have a nice Sunday drink! (Also don't want to terrify the pregnant ones!)

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EdithWeston · 23/03/2014 13:23

Hardly at all, and when we did it was for family gatherings (and not our choice of venue).

Pub gardens were one saviour. The other was ruthlessly roping in the others to take turns amusing them so we go a chance to eat. (Making sure someone else is driving, and having a rare couple of drinks at lunchtime took the stress levels down quite a bit too).

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ilovesooty · 23/03/2014 13:23

I think unless the pub is geared towards families going would be a lot more antisocial than not going.

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ZenNudist · 23/03/2014 13:30

We'd go for food for max 1.5h, give ds (3) iPad to watch something whilst waiting for food. Ds2 is 8wo and as yet not felt like I can feed him on restaurant chairs but now in getting into swing of bf would be more keen to get out.

I'm not a fan of sitting in a pub drinking full stop but we go to costa at least twice a week as its nice to get out and ds1 is a fan of iPad + marshmallow from my hot choc!

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BackforGood · 23/03/2014 13:31

Never - not only is it hardly appropriate for the LOs, it's also disturbing for other people who have gone out to relax.
Most people understand that when you have small children, the way you socialise tends to change.

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Salmotrutta · 23/03/2014 13:33

Never took ours to a pub when they were that age.

Pubs are for adults IMHO.

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littledrummergirl · 23/03/2014 13:44

Never, although we did eat in pubs with a restaurant. The dcs did not run around though, they would sit quietly at the table or we would leave and give them lots of veg with their food at home this was a treat though, maybe once a month.
When I go out to an adult environment I dont want other peoples dcs inflicted on me.

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SackAndCrack · 23/03/2014 13:50

We have just come back from one.

The trick is to find a children friendly pub or one with an outside space which is enclosed.

The pubs we go to have toys in the corner of the pub. Its an obvious unsaid rule that people with kids all go upstairs and those who want peace stay down stairs.

Its far easier in the summer when you can sit ouside. Theres some with swings, another with a bouncy castle.

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KristinaM · 23/03/2014 13:53

Never

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blondefriend · 23/03/2014 14:11

Quite often. Mine are a bit older now (5 and 3.5) but we have taken to pubs quite a lot, especially in the summer. Most of the time it is for a meal but occasionally I have met my OH for after work drinks at our local and the kids have sat happily at the table with a packet of crisps and a colouring book. In the summer we will often go for a walk followed by a drink in a pub.
However I wouldn't want to be stuck inside for an entire afternoon with the kids. They would drive me mad, never mind everyone else.

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I8toys · 23/03/2014 15:09

Never - I agree the way you socalise with friends changes when you have children, although there will be some who say my life hasn't changed at all and I'm still going to the pub etc etc. We take turns to entertain at each other's houses. Less stressful for everyone involved.

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AnnieLobeseder · 23/03/2014 15:11

Never. But then we've never gone to the pub without children either. We're not from the UK and pubs are a very odd concept to us.

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GertTheFlirt · 23/03/2014 15:16

Back in the day? Every Sunday, to a carvery with a ball pit and beer garden, in the summer.

TBH, I don't like children in pubs. Beer gardens yes, indoors no.

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TheScience · 23/03/2014 15:17

We still go quite often tbh, but haven't since DS2 (2 weeks) was born! When we lived near a Wetherspoons we'd go there weekly - we still have a pub Sunday lunch maybe once every 6 weeks.

Summer is easier as we go to places with beer gardens. If we're sitting inside we always take toys and an iPad.

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Haroldplaystheharmonica · 23/03/2014 15:24

We never went to the pub with kids when ours were that age. Now they're 6 and 9 it's great and we often meet up with friends at our local on a Saturday for tea an afternoon's drinking

We've been doing this for a year or so and it works well as all the kids are the same age and the pub is very child friendly. When ours were your kids ages, we'd invite friends to ours for the afternoon/night for drinks instead.

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coldwater1 · 23/03/2014 15:52

Never. My eldest is 12 years old and has never set foot in a pub, neither have my other kids. If i wanted to go to a pub it would be to drink alcohol and in that case i shouldn't be in charge of minors when under the influence. If we wanted to go out to eat i would choose a resturant.

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AdventColander · 23/03/2014 15:56

We only did very rarely, in summer, in obviously family-friendly pubs with nappy changing rooms, play equipment. It was easier when DD1 was a tiny baby and slept or fed a lot. By the time DD2 came along, DD1 was 3 and wouldn't sit still for more thsn 30 seconds minutes. Now they are 6 and 10 it's a bit easier but would still go for pubs clearly catering for families.

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MaryWestmacott · 23/03/2014 15:56

Go for pubs with children's play equipement in the garden. Otherwise, they aren't child friendly spaces, they are fine to take a non-mobile baby, but once they are wanting to run around, then it's not appropriate, and why waste your money on what will be a hideous experience?

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