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Not sure if I am, wwyd?

(14 Posts)
YouStayClassySanDiego Thu 13-Mar-14 17:01:56

Ds3 played football this week against another local team, U14, ds3 is captain, not sure if relevant but adding just in case.

DS1-18 came to watch with dh, all was well, so I thought, ds1 playing with his phone whilst watching the match, nothing new there.

The following night was Ds3's parents evening and as I waited with ds3 a teacher came up to him, ignored me completely but said to ds3 ' did you get it sorted?'. DS3 nodded and replied 'yes, no problem'.

When I asked what that was all about, ds3 was uncomfortable looking. It turns out ds1 had sent a negative tweet about the opposing school that ds3 was playing against the previous evening. It had been seen by staff from the school and the Head from that school phoned the PE department at ds3's school and complained, our school recognised ds1 and told DS3 to tell ds1 to delete it. Ds3 did this and ds1 did this but was reluctant and was adamant the school were over reacting. At that point I knew nothing about this conversation.

I was very unhappy that ds1 had tweeted this and made my feelings clear to him when we got in from Parents Evening and told him what a pillock he was, blah, blah , blah.

I was happy to let it rest, although pissed off that school spoke to ds3 ,who incidentally knew nothing about ds1's tweet until his teacher spoke to him about it earlier in the day before parents evening. It now turns out that at school today ds3 was taken out of class and spoken to again by the PE department asking whether ds3 had deleted the tweet.

Ds3 is out footballing and I haven't spoken to him yet.

Would you be pissed off and phone the school to speak to the PE department about involving ds3 in something that frankly had sod all to do with him other than be related to a pleb of an 18 year old brother?

I'm unsure what to do, should I just leave it?

GertTheFlirt Thu 13-Mar-14 17:06:05

I think it depends how it was said.

JohnFarleysRuskin Thu 13-Mar-14 17:11:57

Unless ds 3 is v unhappy, I would probably leave it. Sounds like it was dealt with.

CailinDana Thu 13-Mar-14 17:13:39

How would you have preferred it to be dealt with?

YouStayClassySanDiego Thu 13-Mar-14 17:17:20

CailinDana In the first instance, the PE teacher saw ds3 with me in the hall and could have asked me about it, that was my thought after hearing what had been tweeted, I would have backed them up, no problem at all.

The tweet isn't there anymore and ds3 is reliable and honest, he wouldn't have told the PE chap it had been dealt with if it hadn't.

YouStayClassySanDiego Thu 13-Mar-14 17:21:17

I'm not going to speak to the school, ds3 would be mortified.

I posted because I'm pissed off and ds3 isn't here to grill about being pulled out of class.

I'm just tetchy about it.

kentishgirl Thu 13-Mar-14 17:31:51

DS1 was there as a guest of DS3.

DS3 is old enough to deal with problems their guest has caused.

I think going to the parent of DS3 (and at a match, you are just another guest really) about the conduct of another guest of the match, is going too far along the chain of contact.

Quick solution, problem solved, both boys hopefully learned something (DS1 not to tweet in this way, DS3 practise in how to resolve problems).

BoomBoomsCousin Thu 13-Mar-14 17:54:04

I would be annoyed they were disrupting the rest of his education by pulling him out of class to ask him about it. But otherwise it sounds from your description so far as though they were giving your DS3 responsibility he was well able to shoulder. It would be worth checking in with DS3 again to make sure he is OK and doesn't feel he's been thrown in out of his depth. If the school were right that he could handle it I don't think you should be annoyed at them, it would have been a useful experience for him.

WooWooOwl Thu 13-Mar-14 18:49:47

I woudo leave it, but I'd feel the same as you. I think the schools should have contacted you instead of expecting your 13 year old to have to deal with your 18 year old, who may or may not have been cooperative about removing it.

YouStayClassySanDiego Thu 13-Mar-14 19:35:20

Thanks all, for the replies.

Ds3 arrived home and was 'meh' about him being asked again about his brother's tweet, no big deal, according to ds3, he gave me that look that teenage boys do < that one>

DS1 is still stewing about 'freedom of speech' and all that.

BrownSauceSandwich Thu 13-Mar-14 19:52:54

Sounds like DS3 handled it fine: school was right to give him that responsibility, he's obviously up to it. School can't be seen to tolerate that kind of thing from guests at their matches, and they nipped it in the bud with minimal fuss - well done them.

You might want to counter DS1's grumbles by explaining that we don't really do freedom of speech in this country, that it's easy to get into trouble with twitter, and that while his tweet might not have been a major problem, the manners were not appropriate for the situation. Otherwise, your sons did well to sort this out between themselves, so well done the parents that raised them wink

Floralnomad Thu 13-Mar-14 19:57:39

I think I'd be less concerned about ds3 and spend the time discussing what you do and don't put on the Internet with ds1 . It sounds like your ds3 has much more sense than his older brother .

YouStayClassySanDiego Thu 13-Mar-14 20:18:53

BrownSauce thank you for that, you're right, they did sort it out between themselves at home.


kentishgirl Fri 14-Mar-14 10:41:51

DS1 is still stewing about 'freedom of speech' and all that.

He must have tweeted something offensive about the other team. A little chat about sportsmanship is in order. OH plays Sunday football and they kick hell out of each other on the pitch, they say all sorts of things on the pitch, but then they all get together and are friendly afterwards in the bar. DS1 needs to be told he was very immature.

Tweeting something offensive about a group of young children is really out of order.

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