I know AIBU but need to rant!

[WholeNutt]

I'm irrationally angry and it's none of my business however my blood pressure is raised thinking about this.

Dsd plays a team sport that requires her to play around the country it's a weekend affair, she's played 6 matches and so far dh has taken her to every single one. Dsd mum was meant to take her to the last one but said she couldn't 4 days before as she now had a wedding to go to.

Next one was meant to be her turn but again she won't be taking her so dh is. It's great that her dad is involved and supports her but I am so pissed off that dsd mum promises then dips out leaving dh to get the time off work to take her and be there to cheer her on.

I know if it works and he's happy and dsd is happy it's fine and really I am in no position to feel annoyed, but I do I'm angry that dsd is constantly let down by her mum so she can pursue her social activities.

[ivykaty44]

can your dad not share lifts? So your dh does some of the lifts to matches and takes two or three of the team and another dc parents does some of the other lifts?

I take dd to 95% of her training and races etc - but I do share some trips with another parents as it helps with petrol and time etc.

dc's dad has done very little but that is his choice to duck out - it means I get to spend some good times with dd doing what families do

[WholeNutt]

Dh and the other parents do share lifts, dsd mum has said to dh she's not arsed about attending matches. She doesn't get it, it's not just about attending the bloody matches it's about supporting your child!!

[WholeNutt]

As in they share the driving there's a bus load that goes.

[ivykaty44]

I know there are a lot of parents that don't go to matches and races etc and they are married, I only get to see one parent as the job seems to lie with them - so thats how some families roll.

my parents never came to watch me play sport I never saw it as them not supporting me it wasn't their thing. It never bothered me as they supported me in a lot of other ways.

what is important to one will be immaterial to another

there is no right or wrong

I just love going to watch dd and she enjoys me being there - it works for us.

[WholeNutt]

It bothers dsd which is why I'm annoyed. If she didn't care then all well and good.

[LettertoHermioneGranger]

YANBU, totally understand your need to rant. I would be crushed if my mother promised to come to matches and continually made excuses and didn't attend, that's really sad for your DSD. Luckily she has you and her dad to care about her matches and support her.

[ivykaty44]

wholenutt - if it bothers your dad then it is different, but that wasn't said in your op you did state dad was happy and i thought that was the case.

If though as you now say that dad is not happy then I would encourage her to let her mum know she would like her to come and watch and how important it is to her.

[WholeNutt]

Sorry I wasn't clear, yes dsd is unhappy dh spoke to her mum and she said she's not arsed. Dsd says she feels her mum doesn't want her.

[mrsjay]

your poor step daughter just wanting her mum there i can see the point of sometimes one parent goes to the thing but it wouldnt kill her mum to go once in a while, could your husband be busy one weekend so she has to take her or would she just not drive her

[WholeNutt]

Mrs Jay she'd let another parent take her.

[mrsjay]

that is just rubbish poor girl what age is she, could you big it up to her that it is a her and dad thing so she doesn't feel so dejected

[WholeNutt]

She's 10, I think to make it a dad daughter thing is a good idea but dh won't always get the time off needed so she'll be put in care of another attending parent.

[Bodicea]

Does she live with her mother? If so she is with her the majority of the time. Maybe she thinks it's only fair he puts more time in with his daughter at the weekend especially as it is a sporty thing and good opportunity for them to bond.
Also I don't think parents need to be there for every little thing kids do. I don't remember my parents cheering me at the sidelines for every little thing and I don't remember feeling unloved or thinking anything of it.

[WholeNutt]

We have 50/50 3 nights 4 days