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AIBU?

to be annoyed with the school

20 replies

WellThatsLife · 24/02/2014 12:22

dd1 has rung me upset, school has told her attendence is only 82% and if it falls any further department of ed will be involved. This is low but since september her asthma has been very bad, she was in hospital for four days in september, missing a week of school because of this and since then her asthma has been a nightmare with quite a few acute attacks. She is under the hospital consultant and we are trying to get it under control but due to the attacks she has frequently ended up at the doctors on nebulisers and steroids and I can't send her in when she is really struggling. She went down with flu 3 weeks ago, she was off for five days, by the fifth day we were at the doctors with her on nebulisers and steroids. The next week she had a Camh appointment(mild asd) so missed one morning because of that, the next day we ended up back at doctors as chest still bad, more steroids(although I did send her into school afterwards though signed off games on drs orders) and had to go back again on the friday for an asthma check as her chest had been so bad. That's just one fortnight! I'm just annoyed that school seems to be having ago at her as she can't help having been so ill and feel that they should have spoken to me and dh not her

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Sirzy · 24/02/2014 12:26

They should have spoken to you. Its not fair to put pressure on the child like that.

School also needs to accept that as important as their targets are some children have illnesses which mean that they will struggle to meet their attendance targets.

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NeonMuffin · 24/02/2014 12:30

This all comes down the silly targets and OFSTED reports, your daughter cannot help being ill.

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Basketofchocolate · 24/02/2014 12:31

I get so mad with this!

DS was one of two that didn't get a certificate last term for good attendance. He missed two days - one for a horrid cold (asthma and no sleep) and one as he was sick day before and they are the ones with the 'not before 24hrs after' rule (which I do agree with!).

He's only 5yrs.

Horrid. Not their fault they get ill. The class has gone down with c. pox this term (DS already had) so his attendance will be quite good in comparison I think.

Surely 'bad attendance' is to do with being off with no good reason - e.g. holiday, not illness.

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noblegiraffe · 24/02/2014 12:35

Some kids are off school at a hint of a sniffle and you hear their mates talking about how they saw them on Xbox live all day.

It's because some parents take the piss that these things are ruthlessly followed up. If she is off for genuine illness and you have evidence of appointments etc, then the dept of ed (or more likely the EWO) will be satisfied.

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mummymeister · 24/02/2014 12:42

how old is your daughter OP? surely if she is under 16 then they should just be talking to you about it not her. who at the school has told her this? a teacher, the head, the office staff? I would almost certainly want a word with them to say that in future these sorts of discussions should be directly with you and not her.

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ScentedScandal · 24/02/2014 12:45

The school should be discussing their concerns with you not your dd OP. They lose all credibility when they steam in so unrofessionally. I would write back and provide the 'evidence' they require (although I assume they've already had notes and communication regarding the absences when they occurredHmm.) Then I'd complain to all and sundry about the way they've handled it. It's appalling to be coming at it from the standpoint that it's probably not genuine and worrying the child about it.

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twinkletoedelephant · 24/02/2014 13:07

One of my twins got 100% attendance certificate and one didn't as he has one day off for the term he was really sick on a Friday.

Dt1 was in tears as he didn't want to be poorly ..... he as also been sent home this term already for being poorly so won't get it this time either.... I have asked the school not to Give dt2 a certificate this time round as it upsets dt1 for reasons beyond his control...

They also have a class attendance prize across the year so classes with poorly children ( asthma Dr appointments etc) will never win the prize ans the poorly kids get blamed :(

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nostress · 24/02/2014 14:00

OP I have asthma and was often off school. I think her asthma sound out of control. Do you know what her triggers are? Mine are animal fur and pollen. For what ever reason my parents continued to keep lots of pets despite me being allergic to then. I take antihistamines year round now (along with inhalers) and that really helps. Forget about the school though there are more important things like getting your daughters asthma under control!
Oh yes and I always have the flu jab as I nearly died from flu & asthma.

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ThisIsMyRealName · 24/02/2014 14:00

I have DT's in y2. Last school year one of them managed to knock himself unconsious during a PE lesson (Don't ask Hmm). He came round quickly but was pretty concussed so the school (rightly of course) called an ambulance. It was the first lesson so of course he missed the rest of the day. He was fine so went back to school after the wkend.

At the end of the year he missed out on getting the 100% attendance award. Because he'd missed 3/4 of a day due to an accident at the school Angry. He was gutted as they also get a little 'prize' if they get the 100%. I don't blame school for the accident (although DP wanted to) but I was not impressed that he was effectively being punished for something that 1) was out of his control (teacher confirmed he was not misbehaving at the time of the accident) 2) Happened whilst he was under the care of the school.

I wrote a letter complaining but just got a standard letter back. It was months ago but I still haven't quite forgiven the school for that one. Angry

Sorry that was a very long winded and self absorbed way of saying YANBU

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BuzzardBird · 24/02/2014 14:11

That really sucks RealName, I don't blame you or your DT for feeling robbed!

OP, I wouldn't give it another thought, it isn't like there is anything you can do about it. Bloody stupid red tape crap.

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WellThatsLife · 24/02/2014 14:30

Hi Nostress, gp has changed her preventer to seretide from clenil and things do seem to be improving. She's seeing consultant in march so will see what he says. I'm dreading the start of the pollen season as she also suffers from bad hayfever and the pollen also affects her asthma. The only thing thats changed this year is starting high school

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nostress · 24/02/2014 14:55

My son also gets really bad hayfever and he has started taking meds this week! There are some trees with blossom and catkins are out too. He started sneezing and at first we thought it was a cold but tried antihistamines and it worked. Before I started taking antihistamines year round I used to have bad attacks at the beginning of the season. I don't know why but my dr&asthma nurse never suggest antihistamines in asthma control I'm sure I would of missed much less school if I had been given them in addition to inhalers. I have to say my asthma is much better now though. Hope you can sort it out with the consultant. How is she about missing school? I used to get really upset about it and was worried about missing things. I hardly ever missed uni and my kids are probably sent to school when they shouldn't be as I'm worried about them missing things.

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Sirzy · 24/02/2014 15:00

DS takes an antihistamine daily as part of his asthma treatment as with the inhalers it has taken a while to find the right one but we seem to be making progress. Hopefully the consutlant can help find the right combiation of medication

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Waltonswatcher1 · 24/02/2014 15:17

The impetigo thread is essentially about this ! Time off school/time off work . Pants all round!

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WellThatsLife · 24/02/2014 15:18

have ordered her antihistamines and nasal spray as hayfever will probably start soon, I just hope everything settles down as I hate her missing school

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ukatlast · 24/02/2014 18:18

YANBU has all commonsense gone out of the window? They are effectively bullying her for being an asthmatic. Complain to the next rung up.

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ukatlast · 24/02/2014 18:20

I meant to add would they rather she came into school and had a severe attack? Idiots.

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nennypops · 24/02/2014 18:36

I suggest going into the attack. The local authority in particular has a duty to make provision for children who can't attend school for medical reasons - guidance at www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/269469/health_needs_guidance__-_revised_may_2013_final.pdf. That includes education for children who have a condition that means they may be off school intermittently.

So I suggest you get a supporting letter from your GP and write to the school and the LA saying the reality is that dd has a condition that means she is likely to have to be off school a lot, you understand that in those circumstances they have a duty to make arrangements for her to be provided with education out of school, and what are they going to do about it?

And don't be fobbed off with the standard "You're only entitled to 5 hours a week" or "we can't be expected to provide a tutor without three weeks' notice." Both are untrue.

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Sirzy · 24/02/2014 18:50

Nenny - thank you for that link. DS is currently at pre-school (mon-fri half days) and has missed about 20 days so far this academic year and that is my biggest worry about him starting school in Septmember - I have saved that link incase we need to fight at any point!

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nennypops · 25/02/2014 00:00

From what I've heard, it's amazing how quickly schools and attendance officers back off from bullying parents about attendance when they realise they could be the ones in the dock for failing to provide home education to children with genuine medical conditions.

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