To have left kids at home?

[KidsDontThinkImCool]

I'm sure this has been done before....but if you could indulge me.

I have a 10 1/2 yo DS and a nearly 13 yo DD. Both quite sensible. Over the last year I've started leaving them alone in the house for short periods of time. DS on his own only for an hour or so - if I have to drop DD off somewhere or pick her up, I might leave him to veg on the sofa instead of dragging him along. DD I will now leave in the house for a few hours, as long as I'm not too far away and I know she can contact me. So, for example, I might agree she can stay home if I'm going to run errands and do the weekly shopping. We live in a pretty safe area and they both know the rules - don't answer the door, don't cook, don't run a bath etc.

Their dad (my ex) agreed this is ok and does it himself when they are with him. Just a few weeks ago he told me he had to go to his shop on a Sunday morning they were with him and couldn't drag the almost-teenager out of bed so he left her in his flat.

So is there any difference between what I've already described, and leaving the two of them for a couple of hours to go 1/2 mile up the road to see my friend? They were going to come with but it was Friday evening, they were tired and begged to be left to just curl up and watch telly in their pjs so I agreed. I texted them several times while I was out to check they were ok and I was home by 9:30.

Ex seems to have taken massive issue with this but as far as I can tell the only real difference is the reason I went out - I went to do something sociable instead of boring errands. But at the end of the day that makes no difference to my assessment of their safety - DCs were no more at risk with me chatting to my friend up the road than if I were at Tesco 6 miles away. So far I've ignored Ex's ranting as he is a bully anyway. So AIBU?

[TheGirlFromIpanema]

I agree with you and have gone about things in a similar sort of way to you.
Can you politely tell him he's speaking bollox?

[TheGirlFromIpanema]

I also agree that its probably the reason you left them that has him so affronted. How very dare you have a life outside the home

[Kewcumber]

tell him to ring social services - they'll laugh him out of the door - 10 1/2 is verge of secondary school I'd be startled if the average child wasn't capable of being left on their own for a few hours by then.

[KidsDontThinkImCool]

I didn't even mention it to him! As he had already agreed in principle that it was fine, I didn't think it was a big deal. Kids must have mentioned it to him in conversation at some point cause a week later I started getting texts repeatedly asking me if I had done this or if kids were just talking nonsense.

[KidsDontThinkImCool]

I have no idea what his actual objection is. All he kept saying was, "I can't believe you just left them alone to go out to dinner!!!!" (It wasn't actually dinner but since he never asked he doesn't really know - that's pretty much his SOP)

[Nocomet]

Given even DD2(12)'s most protective friends DM was ok with me leaving them for an hour and a half while collecting DD1. He is being unreasonable.

[KidsDontThinkImCool]

Yeah, that's what I thought.