I probably am BU and mean but here goes...
Due to teething 1 year old neither of us is getting much sleep. DH does a lot with DS on his days off (usually as much or more than I do), works long hours on his working days and is generally a great hands on dad.
We are both quite exhausted at the moment with no support or relief from family/friends to speak of but we get by. I do a few exercise classes which help to keep me sane.
Anyway DH says he's angry and depressed because he really needs a break and I completely sympathise and agree - but he won't bloody take one!
I have to spoon feed him ideas to go out and give him explicit permission - I think in the past year he's arranged maybe 1 or 2 nights out himself. Last weekend after a LOT of persuading he took a few hours out of the house in the day to do some exercise.
I've got a virus at the moment so am not on good form myself but he was really annoyed and tired so earlier today I suggested he go out for an hour or two and I'd be fine with DS. He refused saying he'd feel guilty and that also an hour or two wasn't a proper break so what was the point. He's not stopped all day, cleaning, sorting and looking after a particularly high-maintenance DS most of it too.
I really feel for him and am grateful for all he does but am exasperated that he won't help himself. His negativity is getting me down, I feel like a nag constantly saying "why don't you do X?" and I'm really starting to lose my patience with it. I've ended up having a bit of a go at him about it.
AIBU to be exasperated and think he's being a bit martyrish (and what can I do to make it better??)? Or am I being a mean ungrateful unsupportive bitch?
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AIBU?
To be exasperated at DH?
8 replies
ivanapoo · 09/02/2014 17:36
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