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to expect a bit more support? (diet club related)

(15 Posts)
antiabz Sat 08-Feb-14 19:11:08

Feeling a bit gutted tonight and could use some perspective as to whether I'm entitled to be...or just being a bit of an over-sensitive wuss.

Joined Slimming world last month, love the eating plan, weight loss is fab, so no problems there. But a few things have left me feeling a bit left out ( and yes typing it I realise it sounds petty)

But it's just little things like if the consultant goes around the group she will ask everyone else their favourite recipes and how to make them, but always missed me out or skims me.

Or not really talking to me when it's my 'turn' to discuss weight loss, but spending so much time on other people that the group runs over! Little things like that that make me feel left out.

Anyway, fast forward to tonight and I have been quite ill this week (about to go to new docs re possible chest infection) and posted on the groups fb page for ideas for quick meals, syn value of cough mixtures etc. and well a bit of support.

This message was seen by 40 something members of the group, including the consultant, and I didn't get a single reply. But a woman who posted 2 minutes after me about having a cold and needing some support got replies. And a woman after that who was then lamenting a slip up got a load of replies too.

Am I being too sensitive? I just feel a bit like the kid who gets left out of the cool club at school.

specialsubject Sat 08-Feb-14 19:13:42

you can't do much about the other group members, but the leader is paid and you are a customer. (She isn't doing it for her health or yours!). So complain if you are not getting service.

get well soon. And I really wouldn't worry about the calories in cough medicine if it makes you feel better.

tripecity Sat 08-Feb-14 19:16:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

antiabz Sat 08-Feb-14 19:19:05

Thanks, yeah I've just stopped counting the cough mix to be honest.

Just wanted to see if it was just me being silly. I'm a bit of a wimp so probably won't complain, but guess I could look for a different group if I'm never allowed into the Clique smile

Messaged the consultant this morning about advice but nothing yet...

Mmolly2013 Sat 08-Feb-14 19:19:29

I had the same issues as you at slimming world..consultant was too busy to bother with new people it was all about the members who were successful i never felt so out of place in that group.

so what i done very childish of me i set up a fake fb account and messaged her saying i as a member of that group didnt feel comfortable with the fact and explained my reason. i never give detail such as im new joiner or which time my class was at. i just stated i was too embarrased to mention it tp her face but i felt unsupported and not welcome as some of the other group membera

antiabz Sat 08-Feb-14 19:23:01

ooooh fake account, tempting wink

But I'm fairly sure she would know it was me. Everyone else seems to 'fit' if you know what I mean?

Another woman who started the same time as me seems to have been taken under their wing.

Maybe I am just deeply unlikeable! ( Dh says I'm not but then he would say that wouldn't he? grin )

LittleDragon Sat 08-Feb-14 19:27:26

Sounds like you could do with finding another slimming world group tbh. I used to be in a group like that and it actually got to the point where it was affecting my weight loss, I moved groups and have found a group where I now feel that I fit in

cithkadston Sat 08-Feb-14 19:29:48

I went to one meeting at a SW group where the leader was awful; very abrupt and rude, and extremely cliquey. She made it obvious that she found it inconvenient having to give a 'new members' talk to me and the other new starter that week.

I phoned head office and complained, and the area manager phoned me, then contacted the leader and she phoned and apologised. I still didn't go back though, and went to WW instead.

cithkadston Sat 08-Feb-14 19:33:54

Also, I totally agree with LittleDragon that you would be better off finding another group instead. I had a situation where I was on a mums club group from another parenting forum, then a FB group for the same group, and for some reason I just didn't seem to fit in. No idea why, I just wasn't one of the gang. It started to affect my self esteem so I left the group.

I'm sure there is no reason why you don't fit in with the group, it's just one of those things, and often there is no particular reason why certain people are in a clique and others aren't.

antiabz Sat 08-Feb-14 19:34:36

I am tempted to switch to another one to be honest. I was torn though as wasn't sure if this was just the norm.

I think it's just the fact that other new members seem to have been welcomed in and I haven't really that made me feel a bit sad

antiabz Sat 08-Feb-14 19:37:10

Thanks Cithkadston, that's pretty much sums it up I think.

You're probably right about there being no reason, but just can't seem to help taking it personally. I have actually been thinking about it more than is healthy for the last few weeks!

Yes, thanks everyone, I will start hunting for a new group!

leezl Sat 08-Feb-14 20:39:14

Change group! And then change again if that one still doesn't suit you. I think finding a consultant you get on with takes a while. I despise my local one so I travel to a half decent one further afield. I've noticed a lot of cliquiness and it is upsetting (I'm a shy, meek type, but I want to be involved) but it's the consultant's loss if she doesn't make you feel welcome as you can take your business elsewhere!
Good luck smile

kernowal Sat 08-Feb-14 21:02:37

Just taken a look at our FB group. Relieved to see it wasn't us. Join another group & don't give up. There's a lovely group waiting for you to join somewhere.

DamnBamboo Sat 08-Feb-14 21:12:15

The leader is meant to be providing a service.
If she isn't doing it properly, then tell her.

antiabz Sat 08-Feb-14 21:33:42

I know, was hoping those days of cliques would be long gone after school. Should have been more realistic grin

I will definitely shop around though, hopefully will find the right group for me!

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